Spying on the Swinneys

Pinterest Overload: Burlap Wreaths, Yarn Letters, Rosettes, Oh, My!

2012-02-10T10:33:00.002-06:00

This will not be an angry post. :)

A friend and I had an impromptu wreath making session while our kids played cowboys and bad guys all over the house. It's possible that one of us or both of us got shot with a suction cup dart (or two) but that didn't stop us from getting our craft on.

I originally was going to make her a wreath that she pinned but I got all weird and thought I might pick the wrong colors or something. So as any good friend would do, I bought the stuff and gave it to her saying "Here, I was going to make you a wreath but I chickened out so here...make your own." However, I brought stuff for myself to make one as well so we made an evening of it.

Good friends, conversation, music, food, coffee, and crafting. Of course, tainted slightly with gunfire and ruckus, but we made the most of it.

Here is the wreath she pinned:

originally from this website

Here is what we came up with:

The funny thing is she was wrapping her letter with yarn while I was making the rosettes and both of those things took us for eva! I made my rosettes out of the girls' old t-shirts and some yarn. Here is a good rosette tutorial. Her letter was so hard to wrap because of it's shape and corners and the rosettes are just time consuming. She decided rosettes were not something she had patience for and I realized my letter was far easier to wrap than hers so our second leg of the mission was a breeze.

I quickly wrapped my letter and she took strips of burlap and loosely sewed across the bottom and gathered the strips into three different sized flowers. Now, as she was attaching her flowers and letter I wrapped my straw wreath in strips of burlap. I pinned the strips first then went back and hot glued the ends down. I just hot glued the rosettes in place. She didn't glue anything to her wreath so it could be changed up later if she wanted and stuck everything into the tightly twisted vines instead.

We both worked to get everything just where we wanted it and put our hangers at the top. Pretty good turn out for a spontaneous craft session.

I consider this a Pinterest success and look forward to my next project!

Day 8.

2012-02-09T17:31:00.002-06:00

Today marks day eight of working out.   That's consecutively. Like, in a row. As in no break.

Yes, I'm whining. Sue me.

Melissa, the official only person still reading this blog (hi) made a comment on a post that made me think. She referenced the stages of grief in making healthy choices and one of them being anger. I thought...wow, why did I edit myself in my post? I said grumpy. But you know what? I AM angry.

I am angry about a lot of things right now. I am angry that getting up early and working out is so freaking hard. I am angry that it doesn't come easily for me. I am angry that instead of feeling better I feel worse than ever. I am angry that today I laid around because I was sore and tired.

I am also angry about other things. This blog? What is it for? I enjoy it but at the same time feel it is a big waste of narcissistic time. I hate that I have been feeling extra exposed and vulnerable to the point where it is excruciating to write and I hold back, often leaving nothing but shallow stories for your humor's sake. I am angry that I like writing but am nothing short of medi-ocre at it. I have gotten more positive feedback about this blog than I could have ever imagined yet I can't really "do anything" with what I seem to be pretty good at and for some reason just writing for the sake of it and for documenting our family doesn't seem to be enough for me. I want it to be enough but the truth is, it isn't. I realize I may be taking this blog thing too seriously but that's who I am. It takes my time and so it kind of needs to have purpose.

I wish I could be like the boring glass guy from the lecture I wrote about. He's boring but at least he is really good at something. At least he focused his energy into something that stuck and took him somewhere even if it is glass. Good for him.

I am angry that when people find out I don't work they just blink their eyes and stare. I am angry that I'm not the most ecstatic girl in the world that I "get" to stay home. I should appreciate it so much more than I do. I should get SO much more done everyday than I do. I loose focus easily and it makes for a most vicious discouraging cycle.

I am angry that I have not pursued more of my talents. I am a wife and mother and proud of it but I am so much more than that and neglecting those parts of me is killing me. I am disappointed in myself for not having a clue what I wanted to do when I was in college. I am angry at YAHOO freaking news for saying my degree was one of the top 10 useless degrees of all time. That was just not something I needed to hear when going through this time in my life. I wish I could go back and make some decisions with the head I have on me now but that is just not possible or reasonable and I have to make peace with that.

I had higher expectations for myself in my head but never had a plan. Plans are a must. Was I so naive to think that things would just happen for me without some serious hard work and drive?   Can I go back and slap my 18 year old self? Please. I really need to talk to that girl. I have important things to tell her.

I know I can't change the past. I am working on changing myself instead but in doing so I can't help but reflect on the choices I have made.   The good ones and the bad ones. I can't help but get so angry about it all and I take it out on my family. That is just so not fair. I gotta get this angry stuff out of my system.

But you know what? I am not going to edit it out of my life. It's where I am. It's a stage. But I know one thing...just being angry all the time isn't going to make anything better. I have to work through it in order to move forward. Hence the changes. It's just harder than I though it would be.

2012-02-08T22:40:00.000-06:00

Better day today. Still hate getting up.

Tonight I went to a lecture with Levi. Why? Oh, I don't know. Moment of insanity I suppose. He goes to lots of lectures and his brain gets bigger. I sniff modpodge and my brain gets poisoned. It works for me.

We get into the auditorium and they start 5 minutes late. Then I had to immediately look up what ephemeral meant since it was written on the first slide. When they finally start two old guys yammer on their gushing thanks to people who didn't even bother to show up. Totally awkward when he goes through the list of people so they can stand only to find out nobody is there.

The lecture guy finally starts and I turn to levi and mouth to him 'This was a huge mistake.'. He agreed. So. Boring. He spoke about glass and how it's reflective. Wow. Really, just wow. He has done some cool projects but the man had zero personality. Thankfully we had to leave early.

I think I will leave the lectures to him from now on and I'll continue to sniff mod podge.

Last minute.

2012-02-07T22:20:00.000-06:00

This is a last minute lame 'I forgot to blog' post. I'm in bed posting from my iPhone. Today was by far the hardest day to get out of bed to workout. I am sore. Im grumpy. Really expected to feel more energy by now. I am going to attempt to be more consistent with my bedtime to see if it helps.

Change is hard. I have a lot of changes to make in my life. Lots. One day at a time.

Listen to your gut.

2012-02-06T11:37:00.002-06:00

You know that gut feeling you get sometimes? It might be like a sixth sense to keep you from impending danger. A little nudge to call a friend who needed a shoulder to lean on at that moment. Or even a magnetic draw to Anthropolgie who just so happened to have something you've been keeping your eye on marked down to 50% off.

Yes. I listen to my gut. Daily.

And that is why I hate camping and always regret it when I get talked into going. Guilted, begged, and coerced into going by my husband and children.

My gut says..."Connie, you hate camping. You REALLY hate camping. Remember? Don't give in. Don't do it. Just say no!"

And then you find yourself dying next to an oak tree being stalked by a serial killer while loosing your foot to gangrene.

That is almost a true story. Just listen (or read).

A friend (who will remain nameless but she knows who she is) invited us to a birthday camp out for her daughter. That is the lowest of lows as far as friendship wrong-doing goes, by the way. When she told me I sighed, moaned, and rolled my eyes. Then I said maybe. Perhaps their was a chance I could drive home and sleep? Yes, that might work.

Wait, never mind. Said friend booked a little to late so we had to drive an hour and half away. So, it's commit or have everyone hate you.

Packing to go camping is the worst thing ever. What is the point? I don't get it. Not one bit. Let's regress and pretend we are Indians or cave people.   It's like a slap in the face towards civilization and progress, really. As a child I use to dream of our family being a camping family. I felt so jilted, so neglected, just so slighted that we were not a camping family. I am pretty certain I was the only person in my family who felt this way. But now, NOW. I get it.

For me, the mom, it's not just camping. It's packing clothes, food, bedding, first-aid, and 9 million camping accessories for 4 people then try to get it all in a teeny tiny car because my husband is still (and I digress) a tree huger. That takes no less than an entire day and then me, the mom, gets to unpack it all while feeling completely horrid b/c this particular mom has yet to get a good night's sleep in a tent. EVER.   And as a bonus, everything smells like a campfire when you get home.

Anyway, we get there and within 30 minutes my foot starts to itch intensely.   I was able to ignore it off and on but clearly something was going on. It was either an insect or a plant. As the evening progressed I got a small red splotchy spot on my foot and it began to get puffy. It didn't get much worse than that so I decided it was not anything to be too alarmed about. We ate, had story time for the kids, talked, then went to bed.

Judging by the intensity of Levi's snoring and the mouths of my daughters gaping open and them in a complete coma...I'm pretty sure I was the only one not getting sleep.   We've tried air matresses, mats, lots of blankets...with the same results for me. No sleep. I was getting bits and pieces of sleep through itching my foot and checking to make sure it was still there.

This off and on sleep lasted for about two hours.

Then I woke up suddenly covered in sweat. My heart was racing my stomach writhing in pain. It was the feeling you get right before you throw up except there was no warning. Seriously, like a bomb in my stomach. In my sleep. Then I realize my foot is worse, throbbing and swollen and hot.

Did I mention I'm in a tent sandwiched between snoring comatose people who never care when I'm sick anyway. In the outdoors. In the dark. Away from home. Away from a BATHROOM?

I slap Levi around a bit to wake him up then crawl my way out of the pitch black tent.    It probably wasn't exactly the right thing to leave the kids alone but I seriously needed Levi's undivided attention. We walked as quickly as possible to the roach infested disgusting excuse for a bathroom which, upon entering, made me even more sick. Not only did it stink, it was humid and hot in there. I will spare you the details of my illness but let's just say it wasn't pretty and I had to go back and forth from an oak tree right outside the bathroom and then back into the bathroom b/c it was so gross and hot and GROSS in there.

I became so nauseous that I couldn't move without making it worse. I sat down by the oak tree and cried and cursed everyone on the trip who would not allow me to be true to myself and my gut. My gut was taking its revenge and I was about to be an amputee.

Levi went to fetch me a blanket and water and cortisone for my foot.

Wait, just a blanket and cortisone. No water. Why would I need water? Why would a sick person need water? Why would a hot sweaty nauseous sick person need water? So, when he brought me the blanket and cortisone he immediately turned around to get me some water.   I think I was very sweet when I suggested that he go back to get me water. That's how I remember it anyway.

Please know that the bathroom and our campsite were not close to each other.

While I laid on the blanket ALONE (in the middle of the night) I notice something moving out of the corner of my right eye. A person. A person in a black hooded trench coat (hood pulled over his head) pacing back and forth next to a tiny little cabin. Back and forth. Back and forth. This person was not on a cell phone.   He was not taking a smoke break. He was alone.

Goodbye, nice knowing you. I am going to die now.

In my head I was wondering how my story would be told. Would it be 48 Hours Mystery? Disappeared? CSI? Maybe even Mystery Diagnosis with the gangrene situation in my foot. Oh, the possibilities were endless. I was hoping for a feature on I Shouldn't be Alive, though.   You know, because that would mean that I made it through this night of terror. But, you know what else I was wondering? Why the jack was I the only one sick? I didn't eat anything other than what everyone else ate. And there I was alone, being stalked by a serial killer, dieing from malaria, and having to consider cutting off my own foot just to survive.

Hmmm, perhaps I will be on Investigation Discovery's On the Case With Paula Zahn: "Who poisoned Connie Swinney?"

Best friend? Husband? Best Friend's husband?

The serial killer kept pacing but would stop every now and then and stare. I just froze like a scared wild animal. After waiting what seemed like forever Levi made it back with the dang water. I then proceeded to warn him quietly yet with great fervor that we were being stalked. I don't think he bought my story. Not even a little. BUT I was sick, crying, muttering hate words towards him, and had an itchy foot problem so he went with it to humor me or shut me up. Either one was fine with me.

I was begging God to make me better or take me on home.   The intense nausea was about to do me in. I just assumed we would have to go home and the trip would be ruined for everyone else. But after a couple of hours I began to feel the nausea lift. My feelings of despair began to fade although my foot was still itching and hot but I was in the clear on the amputation.

We made our way back to the tent and the girls had not gotten eaten by a bear or stolen. Nor had they woken up and screamed bloody murder at the discovery of their parents being gone. The rest of the night was uneventful and that morning we verified that yes, I was the only one who got sick.

And that is why you should listen to your gut. Your gut knows best and will betray you if you so choose to not listen.

On the 30 day challenges...I am changing mine to blogging M-F during the month of February instead of everyday. We did day 5 of our workout today and Levi has not had DP so we are still going strong! But we are also still tired and grumpy. Blah.

Pinterest Inspired Wall Art.

2012-02-03T11:50:00.002-06:00

Yes, I'm on the Pinterest band wagon. Since my first encounter I have gone through rehab and now have a healthy relationship with Pinterest. It is through this healthy relationship that I came up with an arrangement above my piano.

If you've been a reader for a while you know that Levi and I don't agree on very much when it comes to home decor. After 10 years of marriage, some counseling, some fist fights, and an occasional unkind word (or two) we are learning to compromise. The original picture was pinned (by my friend looking out for me) on Pinterest from the Better Homes and Gardens Website:

I love this fabric. Sigh. But then there's Levi. So I had to go with the smaller print you will see below and this:

You might be assuming that I would use canvases covered in fabric but you would be oh-so-wrong. They should be canvases if Michael's on Arbrook (my once favorite craft store) hadn't completely let me down in the area of customer service last weekend. But they did and I was forced to go into my garage and improvise.

Levi had a big piece of dry-wall left over from a project and I just cut it up using an exacto knife into the sizes that I would have bought the canvases. You just have to score it on one side and then turn it over and karate chop it so that it breaks. It's super fun.

I have no idea how cost effective this is since it was something we had on hand. I don't know how much dry-wall is. For me it was free. Now, when Levi needs that drywall and has to go buy more I'll let you know if it was cost effective or not by the level of his irritation.

Oh, and you should know that I did this while Levi was gone one weekend. It's just easier that way. Kind of makes it like a challenge. "Will he or won't he kill me when he get's home."

I bought 1.5 yards of fabric and used a staple gun to wrap it around the boards. I Googled "bird on a limb sillouette" and just painted them free-hand on two of the boards. If you aren't comfortable free handing then you can easily print it off and cut it out to use as a stencil.

I hammered a picture hanger into the backs of them and voila! Done. Thank you Pinterest. It's not perfect but it works:

I searched through the house for things to set up on the top of the piano and I'm pretty happy with what I came up with. The two vases and the bird are from random trips to thrift stores a while back. They were only 99 cents each. The sticks in the yellow vase are from the back yard.

I stole some of Levi's architecture books that had decent looking spines and spent way too long getting them just so.

The smaller frame was in a box in the closet and the other was a birthday gift to Jules last summer..it's a chalkboard frame. I plan on getting her to draw on it for me. I added this little rocking horse as an homage to the beautiful blue in the original picture and as a "shout-out" to my cowgirl roots:

I had everything except the fabric and picture hangers on hand so the total cost for me was $12. I am trying really hard to use what I have before spending any money. Sometimes this requires being patient and coming up with just the right project that works with what you have.

Oh, and Levi's reaction? "It's fine." I can only assume that means he loves it, right? And I'm still alive so..he may even want to marry it.

Day 2 of the 30 day challenge complete. By the way, getting up early and working out has not given me more energy yet has made me into an angry grumpy disgrace of a woman. Let's hope that gets better.

30 Day Challenge(s).

2012-02-02T13:51:00.000-06:00

Levi and I have decided to do a series of 30 day challenges. Of course, we are starting on February 2nd because we are usually a day late and a dollar short in most aspects of our lives and we did not want to disappoint. And this probably should have occurred in January as a new year's resolution but we march to the beat of our own procrastinating drum so let's just go with it.

We both chose two 30 day challenges at a time because we are ~~just that screwed up~~ over-achievers. I chose to write on this blog for 30 days straight and to do the 30 Day Shred again....and for 30 consecutive NOT random days. Ahem. He chose to improve his morning routine which includes doing the 30 Day Shred with me (which requires getting up earlier) and ditching Dr. Pepper. And there will not be any before and after pictures for doing the Shred. You can thank me later.

So, here I am. Day one and I have done my workout and I'm writing. Not really very riveting but a good solid start. The workout wasn't too bad.   I followed the girl on the left. She was the one doing the girl push-ups and the "easier" version. I like that girl. The blog has been a little under the weather lately so please excuse me if it takes me a while to get comfortable with it again. It's sort of hard to explain (not that anyone is asking for an explanation).   Either way I'm going to go with this 30 day plan for now.

I asked Levi for a statement regarding his first day:

"Well my morning started off the way I had intended – I did actually get out of bed when the alarm went off. And I didn’t get back into bed when I shut it off so for me that is pretty impressive. I knew that I was out of shape and I knew that any workout that only lasts for 20 minutes is rather intense or at least upbeat. I wouldn’t say that Jillian’s workout is difficult, but I am just REALLY out of shape so this is going to take a few reps to get back into the swing of things. I am only about 12hrs into the whole “no soda” thing and so far I am ok. I do a lot better just quitting as I have no self-control – I could drink a case of Dr. Pepper in a day with no problem (my kidney’s and blood sugar may be a problem, but I could certainly do it)."

One day down (mostly..unless Levi goes on a Dr. Pepper binge).   Talk to you tomorrow!

The Lauren Scruggs Inspiration.

2011-12-08T13:10:00.000-06:00

Choosing the title for this post was a challenge. If you've been reading or listening to the news lately chances are you have at least heard about her story.   The Lauren Scruggs Tragedy. Her name, for now, will be linked to words like tragedy, horror, brain injury, severed left hand.....

But until late Saturday night her name would have been linked to words like editor in chief of on-line fashion magazine lolomag.com, fashion blogger, Gossip Girl stylist, reporting for New York Fashion Week, PlanoTX model, up and coming....and she is only 23 years old.

Her style is natural and organic, often times going without make-up at all. What? No false eyelashes and airbrushed make-up? I'm dumbfounded and sold already. But I will not leave the house without make-up b/c I'm not Lauren Scruggs and not 23.

From what I've read Lauren was on a small prop plane looking at Christmas lights on Saturday night and landed at a private airport North of Dallas in McKinney. She exited the plane and they are speculating that she turned back to perhaps thank the pilot and walked into the propellar that was still in motion. You can read more from abcnews.go and watch a video (that automatically starts so turn your volume down) here.

Some people just can't imagine how she managed to do that. I can't imagine how THEY can't imagine how she did that. I have opened a bathroom door into my face before leaving a long vertical bruise down my forehead and cheek. My night vision is terrible so I get it. I can imagine it and she's not some sort of freak for having done it. Unimaginable things happen every day.

The injuries are devastating.

The left side of her face..through her eye, skull, and part of her brain was slashed. Her left shoulder slashed. Her left hand was severed and since then, amputated.

Her mother was there.   This made my knees weak.

Talk about a change of plans. Normally I would look at a young beautiful successful blonde model and want to kick her teeth out. And then I'd look at her beautiful brunette fraternal twin sister Brittany and kick her teeth out as well, you know, so they could still be twin-ish. However, I've matured (thank you Jesus). My 33 year old mom eyes see my daughters at 23. The hope, the joy, the endless possibilities. I see Lauren and read her credentials and I am inspired by her. She is truly chasing her dreams and my 33 year old (looser not chasing my dreams) self is rooting her on.

Her parents, Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs, spoke briefly about her recovery (in the abc article I linked to above) and were just as grief stricken as you would imagine.   I was surprised to find out that they have written a book "I do Again". The title immediately intrugued me so I watched a video that captures their bitter sweet story and it left me wanting to drop everything and go get that book and read it cover to cover while pretending I have the flu.

I chose not to do that last thing but here is the video for you and if you choose to do that last thing then it's on you.

I do realize that some marriages have to end and reconciliation is not for the best. I just want to throw that out their to my girls (and guys) who have turned new pages and are experiencing much deserved sweet blessings in their new relationships.   But I still love this story and how God can change people.

That is the most important point. He can change us if we desire to change.

I think that concept is applicable in so many situations. Satan seems to love to be a constant reminder of our weaknesses and mistakes hoping for them to define us and make us believe that the chance of ever changing is small if not impossible.

As I read about Lauren's recovery (CaringBridge/Lauren Scruggs) I find myself wanting her to come back stronger than ever. I just think it's a beautiful thing to see someone take their passion and live it out. Especially at such a young age. An age where I was mostly concerned with what was going to happen on the Felicity finale and that was about it. Still a little bitter about that ending. Noel forever.

As far as my title goes, one day I hope that when someone Googles "Lauren Scruggs" that the word inspiration will far out weigh tragedy.   The Lauren Scruggs Inspiration. I like it.

Little Life Lessons.

2011-11-17T22:09:00.002-06:00

I made up my mind two years ago that one thing I would never buy from our school again are these things called "Y Ties". They are curly shoe laces that take the place of tying your shoes at all. Get it? "Y Tie" when you have Y Ties? Except they are super tight curly laces with hardly any give to them.

I failed to realize that I was making that decision before Jules was an official member of the school and before the school had a chance to shamelessly brain wash her by means of an advertising video in PE.

Awesome.

The thing is...they don't really work great. They kinda sorta work but not really. Mia and I knew this and therefore when the flyer+comic-book+sticker+envelope for a deal with the devil came in her folder on Tuesday we scoffed at it and recollected how horrible they were. We talked about how difficult they were to put in and how she couldn't even get her foot in her shoe. When she actually did get her foot in her shoe she couldn't feel her foot after 5 minutes because it was cutting the circulation off.

Now, some people have better success with these things but not us. We talked about how we were NOT going to be suckers this time. No way. Not us.

All paperwork was thrown in the trash and I thought that was the end of that.

Enter Jules yesterday fresh out of PE and with the video on her mind.

She apparently was not present during our conversation on how stupid Y-Ties were the day before. As soon as she walked out of school she began listing her selling points pretty much verbatim (I can only assume) from the brain washing video. She neeeeeded them. She waaaaaanted them. They were going to be AWESOME. AND...they're only FOUR dollars.

Some of you know she is a pamphlet, brochure, business card stealing/hoarding kind of girl so the mini brochure with the vast array of color options (which included pink-camo...nice touch marketing department) was just too much for her to handle.   She slept with that brochure under her pillow.

The next morning (this very morning) she woke up mumbling Y-Tie jargon mingled with begging and pleading. I tried to plead my case with her. Mia tried as well.

So the tears started falling. Right before school, of course.   As much as I wanted to lay down the law and refuse I began to think about how much Mia wanted those things just as bad as Jules when she was in the first grade. She was just as amped and brainwashed about them and sometimes life's lessons just need to be learned instead of taught.

I, however, could not in good conscience spend my own money on such a scam. I told Jules she could buy them with her own money. Unfortunately, she didn't have any money so I made a list of chores she had to agree to do and I would in turn buy the pink and purple sparkly pieces of junk.

She got started right away and washed all my kitchen cabinet doors and drawers and helped put away the laundry. She is not finished, though and I am kind of excited about how good the grout will look when she's done cleaning it with a toothbrush and warm soapy water. Kind of like Cinderella except there will be no beautiful sparkling dress or prince charming in the end. Just crappy Y-ties.

Today after school she runs out exclaiming how we don't even have to ORDER them. They will be available at the school this evening for a reading event. This made my eye twitch I think.

We get to the school and right there at the front was the table of the God bless-ed Y-Ties.   Her eyes grew large and she did not hesitate to blurt her order out. THEN, her traitor sister blurted out that she really wanted the pink and silver ones. What the what?   How COULD she? Right there in front of her sister and everyone. I will never let her live it down. NEVER. She said she thought it was a cute idea to put them in her hair. Whatever. Don't talk to me.

We finish up the night almost losing one of the stupid things and using those shameless video brainwashing sales tactics on other innocent children...waiving the Y-Ties in their faces saying they neeeeeeeded them too.

Her time was coming. It was so coming.

We get home and first thing she digs out her tennis shoes and asks me to replace her laces with the devil strings. I did. But in a very grumpy sort of way, cursing them under my breath.

Finally her moment came. She was filled with such excitement and hope. I was giddy waiting for her dreams to be dashed and waiting for my "I told you so" moment to come.

Watching her work up a sweat trying to get those things on was pure comic gold. She was sweating, biting her lip, grunting, pausing, pulling and tugging. I smiled and asked her what was wrong.

She said she just needed to get her foot in the shoe first and then lace them up. That's what was wrong.   Riiiight. Because unlacing and lacing curly impossible devil strings was a logical and practical way to get your shoes on every morning. That must be what's wrong.

She finally gets her shoes on and it was like she won a wrestling match with a crocodile.   So as to not have to wrestle any more crocodiles in the morning she thought it was best to sleep with her shoes on.

As if I was not already completely not wanting to cooperate with the Y Tye shoe stringing already she then asked me to put them in her hair. I must have growled at her and my eyes may have gleamed red because she quickly said "Nevermind!" and ran away to bed.

It was in that bed that she decided to take the purple Y-Ties out that I had JUST labored over so she could see what the pink ones looked like except she couldn't get the pink ones in and if I could just put the pink ones in......

This made my other eye twitch.

I am pretty sure no lessons were learned here. I am out $12. Jules is in bed with a brochure, two shoes with no laces of any kind and weird curly devil strings under her pillow.   This will make getting ready in the morning spectacular.

So if any lesson could be learned it could be that Jules is a master negotiator and swindler, her sister is a no-good traitor, and I am an idiot. That about sums it up.

Santa, is that you?

2011-11-13T22:07:00.001-06:00

Most mornings are typical around here. Sleeping till the last minute. Hunting for clean socks like the Holy Grail. Busting out of the house in a whirlwind leaving behind a scene from Twister.

Yes, that's what this family thrives off of. Chaos.

However, as much as we like chaos, we LOVE to throw in some unpredictable dramatic moments that involve dangerously wild rabid critters.

I was minding my own business checking ~~Perez Hilton~~ the news and the weather when the girls jump into our bedroom with an announcement.

"THERE'S A SQUIRREL IN THE FIREPLACE! FOR REAL! IT'S TRUE! THERE IS! THERE IS!"

I immediately thought to myself how this was really going to put a cramp in our already cramped morning. I was certain Levi would bail on me and say "good luck with that" and that I'd have to spend the day just waiting for it to break out of the fireplace and eat me.

So, naturally I took matters into my own hands.

The girls were sitting at the table covered in the white confection that is powdered sugar from their ~~powdered donuts~~ lightly sweetened steel cut oats just waiting in anticipation to see how we were going to settle this squirrel issue.

I did a little Google search and it suggested turning the lights out, opening an exit door, opening the fireplace and waiting for the little rat to find it's way out. Great. I turned the lights out...no problem. I opened the back door....totally easy. Then, I opened the glass doors on the fireplace and ran like a chicken to the kitchen jumping on one of the chairs. The girls followed suit and so there we all stood. In chairs. Waiting in a powdered sugar haze for the vicious varmint to come out hissing and flailing pushing us to the brink of death, but then making a sharp turn to the right and into the back yard to join the rest of the wildlife where all good wild life should be.

Seeing as how we slept a little too late and it took quite a while to find the clean socks we really didn't have a lot of time to wait for the exciting climactic ending the girls were so hoping for. We got down and slowly approached the fireplace. Tip toeing and ~~giggling~~ being vewy vewy quiet.

"Mia, go shut the fireplace."

"What? Why me? No, way. You do it."

"I thought you wanted to be a veterinarian? So, you do it.   Animal lover."

"Well, what about protecting your own daughter?"

"Well what about following your dreams?"

Noticing a swimming chance to gain big girl props in the family Jules piped in..."You want me to do it mommy?"

I of course said, "Absolutely!"

But, noticing a very good chance at being out braved by her littler sister Mia ran up to the fireplace and slammed it shut. Jules was not upset about this which leads me to believe she may or may not have followed through with her super thoughtful gesture.

We finished getting ready for school and despite Mia's wishes to be late and watch how it all played out they went to school and made it before the tardy bell. Jules would be more dangerous than any rabid squirrel if we made her late for school. Trust me.

When Levi got back from taking them he had obviously been concocting a plan on the way. Rope down the chimney for it to climb out on? Ahh, good thought. But, no. I don't need rabies and an invalid husband who fell off the roof. That would be terrible. So the hunt for a respectable sized box began.

With box in hand, he began his approach with no protection whatsoever. This was discovered only after he had supposedly captured it pinning it in the box against the back of the fireplace. Super. Now what? If he lets go of the box the squirrel will gnaw his face off.   It's possible that it will gnaw right through the box and gnaw his unprotected hands off. It was at this point, this critacle point in which my loving husband was so vulnerable and helpless, that I began to expalin to him how gloves would have made all the difference. While videoing, of course. I also told him he was going to get rabies.

We exchanged a few words and he began to jostle the box around or maybe it was the squirrel freaking the heck out but either way it was that feeling you get before something terrible is going to happen. You hope it doesn't happen but it's very possible that it will.

I may have mentioned that I would kill it if it came near me. Now I'm thinking I would have died from a heart attack instead. But my point was...no mercy.

And then...

THEN...

It catapulted itself out of the fireplace, across the living room floor, and into the office. I screamed bloody murder. Penny took off after it. Then I screamed at Penny b/c she's dumb and would probably just get injured instead of help in any way. She is also submissive enough to throw all her doggy intuition to the wind and obey her master. What a sissy. This leads me to believe that she may or may not have followed through with her very impressive dash across the living room floor in an attempt at hunting the rogue rodent down.

I gained my composure and began videoing again. Levi was growing fond of the little guy with every passing second. I was not. Get it out. Get it out now. I was growing ever more uncomfortable with the situation with every passing second.

As an aside, I had a dream about two weeks ago that I was lying on the couch when suddenly a squirrel appears and is running around the living room, getting ready to descend on me ninja style when it morphed into a rat and ran into the kids room. I, however, couldn't move rendering me unable to save my poor dear children. Do you see how this made the situation a little more frightening?

I stood at the entry way with the closet door open to block it from re-entering the living room and shielded the gap that was left with my body. So sacrificial. I hope you see it that way, anyway.

Levi was herding it like a cow dog whispering sweet nothings to it trying to get it out of the office and out the door when finally it shot out, slid across the entry tile then scampered out the door.

And that is how it all went down.

To prove that I'm not a big liar I've included the videos. Sometimes I think people think I make this stuff up. I don't.

Food Matters.

2011-10-25T11:13:00.000-05:00

Hello from the incredibly inconsistent blogger.

I'm still at home. Levi is still an architect. The girls are still crazy and I have proof:

This is the time of year I start to get anxious and stressed. My head gets foggy and I secretly wish I could go to Jamaica and come back in January after Christmas. I know it's a terrible thing to think but it's true. Christmas gives me a headache and makes my nose hurt. Every time I go into a gift store with that strong cinnamon potpourri it makes me want to cute my nose off. I love cinnamon and I love to smell it but it feels like a cinnamon stick up the nose in those places. Ouch.

But since it's October 25 and not Christmas I'm going to focus on my menu this week. I am a firm believer in menu making and grocery lists. Saves you money, time, and stress. I try to make my menu/list on a different day than when I actually go grocery shopping b/c both of those tasks are a bit much so I spread them out. However, since I didn't exactly accomplish everything I needed to yesterday I am forced to do both today. You win some you loose some.

These days I have to look at my Calendar before I begin.

*Very long side note*
Levi and I live and die by our Google Calendars. We access them (we each have our own) through our gmail and can send each other invitations to events and what-not. Something that was a stress in our marriage was coordinating events whether it be for ourselves or the entire family. Inevitably we would double book and then somebody would end up mad and not at their event. Our rule of thumb is...if you don't put it on the calendar then that day is fair game. However, just because ~~Levi~~ one puts it on the calendar does NOT mean it's a done deal...the spouse has to agree by accepting the invitation, a-hem. After a couple of times that I didn't get to go where I had planned...I got real good at using the calendar. It also syncs with iCal on my phone which is spectacular and I can also add events to my iCal and it will sync with my Google Calendar. Awesomeness.

Things to consider after checking my calendar:

-in-laws coming for dinner and to help with some electrical work
-a teacher luncheon I volunteered for
-a Halloween dessert contest
-my parents coming for a couple of days
-woman's bible study pot-luck
-stickers for Halloween treat bags

I shop for two weeks at a time and almost always have to go back for something b/c Murphy's law is real stinker.

Zuppa Toscana-Double Batch for in laws tonight and Teacher Luncheon tomorrow. I use this recipe exactly EXCEPT I use kale not spinach. Big difference. Olive Garden uses kale.

Spicy Chicken Soup and cornbread-for my parents coming on Sunday. Eating for dinner Sunday and lunch Monday

Honey Garlic Chicken (a seriously good recipe), rice, steamed broccoli, Rhodes yeast rolls, Pioneer Woman's Apple Dumplings-Monday night with my parents.

Brown Butter Banana Muffins-Breakfast with my parents

Banoffee Pie-dessert contest on Wednesday

Lemon Custard Creme Pie-(original recipe that is not written down yet) dessert contest on Wednesday

Chicken Broccoli Braid

Chipoltle lime chicken tacos

Manicotti, salad

Beef Stroganoff

Potatoes Etc.-mother in laws recipe also not written down yet.

Something 80's themed for woman's bible study..hmmm, still thinking on that one.

Now I'm off to make my list on allrecipes.com. The only thing good about grocery day is the Pay-day and coke I treat myself to afterwards. Gives me just the boost I need to unload the car and put up the groceries. Let's hope I can stick to the grocery isle at Target at not veer over to the clothes, bags, shoes, holiday goodies.....the list could go on and on! But sadly not my wallet.

Just Doing What Mother's Do.

2011-09-08T17:06:00.003-05:00

Today I faced a huge giant. I didn't conquer it or even shoot a stone at it with my trusty sling-shot but I looked at it for a little while.

It's my garage and every single piece of paper my kids every drew on, every card all 4 of us have ever gotten, every art project, everything.

I kept it all.

And it's all thrown in boxes and bags. I've attempted to sort through it all and the only thing I accomplished was making a bigger mess. I kind of did that today. Levi's head might spin around a few times and explode when he goes in there. I told him I worked on it. I should have said...I looked at it then cried, ran out and drove to Sonic. I then proceeded to super size my fries and coke and ate my worries away.

The carb-sugar-fat high hasn't worn off yet so I thought I'd put myself to good use.

This girl right here. She melts my heart. Her brain works in such a unique way. She always surprises me. I'm the mom...I can gush...this is my blog...gushing will continue throughout this post.

This is a rare photo where you can see the scar above her left eye. I thought this was a beautiful photo despite my inability to see things like trash cans in the background. She said "Great. My hair is the color of dead grass."

Picture me 8 months pregnant. Mia had just turned two.

It was tornado season and they were spotted all over the place. Specifically right towards our apartment. I don't do well with bad weather. I am better than I was but still not great. I took the crib mattress off of her toddler bed and we got in the bathtub sized more appropriately for the Lollipop Guild. All three of us in that tub. Her, me, and Jules in my big huge belly and a crib mattress on top.

As soon as the threat was over and the feeling came back to my feet we got out and I was either talking to my mom or Levi on the phone making sure the threat was completely over. Then I heard it. The cry that trumps all other cries. You know it. The cry that indicates there is blood or broken bones or dark purple bruises. This time it was blood. Lots and lots of it.

She decided to play on her bed frame because her 8 months pregnant mother forgot that she took the mattress off thus exposing all of that metal and the rusted screws. Mia sliced her forehead on one of the protruding screws.

I got a wash cloth and smacked it on her head and told Levi what happened. You know, since I was on the phone anyways and not watching my 2 year old. He asked if she needed stitches. I said that would require looking at the gash and well, that wasn't going to happen. I can't do blood and certainly not when my hormones and emotions are 5 different places on the map at any given moment.

Because, remember? I was pregnant and that is why my judgment was lacking. Got it?

Levi brought home some butterfly strips and everything healed up nicely. Perhaps stitches would have prevented the scar but then how much fun would that be? Not very. Scars are cool. Especially when your mother tells you that you got it while trying to escape a tornado.

That is mostly the truth. Hush.

A lot of you know she struggles with math and numbers. They are her giant. GIANT, I tell you. Just today as I was looking through my ~~hoarding pile~~ stash of memories I reviewed her pre-school end of year assessment.   She couldn't count to 10. She couldn't identify her numbers past 7.

In kindergarten her teacher wrote "struggles very much in math, I have to help her....she tries hard, though".

Times haven't changed. She is supposed to be working on her math facts. We do...in every possible way you could ever possibly imagine. Not happening. We've made a game of it. We've used flashcards. She plays computer games. Ipod games. Her brain FREAKS out. This has been going on since age 4. She, at one point, could count to 15 and identify her numbers. Then something happened. I don't know who took the key to the math part of her brain or where it is now but I would like it back. ASAP. She is holding her own, though, and using every finger and toe she has. Who needs math facts memorized when you have 20 perfectly good fingers and toes?

But in the mean time let's explore the right side of her brain. Mia has always...always kept her emotions and thoughts to herself. If she is upset you might as well get a chisel and hammer b/c that is what it will take to find out what is wrong. However, since she was able to hold a magna doodle pen she would draw her feelings out and leave me notes on it. She would literally draw a picture of what happened that made her upset. Usually she would leave the picture for me by her bed and I'd find it the next morning. Sometimes I would ask her what's wrong and she would go get her magna doodle, draw it all out, then show me instead of verbalize it. Now that she can read and write she resorts to poems. Here is one she wrote one night that she couldn't fall asleep.   She is somewhat of an insomniac. I'm going to adjust her 6 year old spelling for you so you will understand it.

In The Moonlight All Alone

In the moonlight where I belong.
Soon I'll be there all alone.
Soon I'll know what to do.
Soon I'll be there.
In the city not alone.
Soon I'll get there.
Soon I'll get there.
Soon I'll get there.

Like the dramatic ending? I assume she finally fell asleep.

I spotted her artistic genius early on. Age 2, actually. She drew this brown blob and told me it was a bat. I was amazed. Mother's have the ability for that, you know? The child might say goo-goo-gah-gah and the mother hears the Gettysburg Address. Yeah, that was me. But it was still a darn good bat for a two year old.

Moving on to age 4. Her sweet people with two wisps of hair each and spiky balls for hands and fingers. Be still this mother's heart.

Age 5. "Cardin" otherwise known as cardinal.

Age 5 again. Mr. fat owl. Love him. I love that she could make his little feet look like they are clinging on to the branch.

The next 3 are age 6. A unicorn with its mane blowing in the wind.

I love this dragon. He looks happy.

A neat perspective of someone kissing a cute bird. Someone with a strong nose...

The next three are Age 7. This is one of my favorites. It's abstract and awesome. She said it was a dragon. Totally nailed the claw holding the egg.

A very Picasso Cat in the Hat.

Then one day your 5 year old "Cardin" becomes this beautiful painting of a cardinal in the snow.

She was bored one day and drawing on a dry erase board. She asked me what she should draw. I said a dinosaur. I was super impressed.

Age 8. The best part of the day is going through notebooks. Those of you with school aged kids know what I'm talking about. All kinds of treasures tucked in pockets and folders. All of the sudden their people with two strands of hair and spike ball hands become beauty queens. Nickelodeon has certainly not had any influence on her. But I have to wonder about these people with football shaped heads. Can't be Nickelodeon. Can't. It's not. Nope. Uh-uh.

This is adorable to me. She has a purple skirt and yellow shirt much like that.

My favorite this year so far. Don't know why. Maybe it's the hair and how she likes wisps of "side-hair" in her eyes. Or the cat on the foot. Or the hands behind the back. Cuteness.

Ok. Gushing over. I will always be her biggest fan and see dragons and castles where there might be scribbles and scratches.

Home Alone.

2011-08-30T12:49:00.000-05:00

Well, girls. I'm back home. It's very different than the first 7 years I stayed home b/c now I'm...HOME ALONE.

Whoa. Talk about quiet. And weird. And wonderful. And terrible. And QUIET.

Did I mention quiet? Because it is. VERY quiet.

In a nutshell they decided to change my position to full time and I declined. Levi and I decided that me working full time would not "work" for us. So, there. I'm home. Alone.

And it's quiet.

Quiet is a fun experience for a couple of days. Then by day three you start to hear voices. Day four you say things out loud that you wouldn't normally b/c, why not? And by day five you are engaging in full on conversations with yourself. The weekend comes, slaps some reality back into your face and then by Monday the quiet is nice again.

Being home with no kids during the day puts an immense amount of pressure on me. I don't really have any excuses to not get things done. Darn. I had those excuses down to an art. I can't say that I am a great self-motivated person but I can say that I have grown to love my new to-do list app.

Or I should say TeuxDeux app? I was on the hunt for a great but simple to-do list app this summer and it was no easy task. I tried several free ones. Re-tried ones I had bought in the past to see if they had updated them with better features. You name it, I tried it or looked for it.

The features I was looking for:

-A compatible on-line version I could manage from my computer. I love my keyboard so much. Way more than pecking away at my iphone. For this reason I simply HAD to have the option to create and edit my list sitting at my computer using my handy dandy keyboard.

-For the computer and my iphone app to sync for FREE and as often as I needed it to. I have an app that will only sync once per day and if you want more you must pay. Boo for that.

-For my computer and iphone to have the same features and functionality.

-The number one, hands down most important feature that I was looking for was drag and drop organization. Several of the top to-do applications do not have this feature. They have a priority level system that is not functional and defaults to alphabetizing your list within it's priority tiers. No thank you. I want to type out a list then drag and drop those items in any order I want to. And then if I change my mind in the middle of the day I wan to be able to re-organize the list easily.

I also love the way it looks. Simple. At the bottom of the page it has a "someday" list. This is where you put stuff like "clean out the garage" and "make Jules a baby book filled with lies b/c I can't remember anything or find anything where it might be written." You can drag items from any day and drop it into another day or the "someday" list. Love that.

If you are looking for a simple to-do list app you should check it out. Go HERE.

The grocery store is on my to-do list for today so I must go but not without first sharing a recipe.

The recipe is for an easy chicken pot pie. Let me first explain how much Levi hates chicken pot pie. Loathes. He, in general, hates comfort food. Weird, right? If you know him well you should think that is totally weird b/c I still think it's weird. No chicken and dumplings, no pot pies, no king ranch chicken, no tetrazzini, no beef tips and rice, no nothing. He doesn't like crock pot meals and he doesn't even like concession stand nachos. Makes it hard for a woman, let me tell you.

BUT, since I love a good payback. I made chicken pot pie last night. He may have compromised our checking account on some level and vowed to eat peanut butter and jelly for two weeks. I may have snickered when I realized all I had in the fridge was the exact ingredients to try this new recipe.

The original recipe can be found HERE. I didn't make my own crust and had to work with what I had which was potatoes not peas, minced onion not fresh chopped, and celery salt not celery seed.

Here is my version:

Ingredients:

2 chicken breasts cut into bite sized pieces
3 medium Russett potatoes peeled and chopped
1/2 bag of frozen crinkle cut carrots and peas (I only had carrots)
1/3 cup butter
1 T minced onion or 1/3 cup fresh chopped onion
1/3 cup flour
1 3/4 cups of chicken broth
2/3 cup of milk
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp celery salt (or leave out and add more salt)
1/2 tsp pepper
1 or 2 cans of biscuits (I used one 10 count can of cheap biscuits b/c that's all had but would have liked more)

Pre-Heat oven to 400 degrees.

Boil the chicken, potatoes, and half a bag of frozen crinkle cut carrots in a pot of water for 15 minutes, drain and fill two greased deep dish pie plates or comparable casserole dishes with the mixture.

Add butter and onion in skillet until butter is completely melted. Stir in flour. Slowly add chicken broth and milk and stir well with a whisk. Add salt and pepper.

Once the sauce has slightly thickened pour it all over the veggie and chicken mixture in the two dishes.
Here's the fun part. Either squish each biscuit with your hands or roll them out very flat and arrange over the pies. GREAT kid fun. If you have the flaky layers biscuits you can just peel those apart into three layers and arrange. No squishing required.

Cook until sauce is bubbly. Be careful to watch out and not burn the biscuits. If they are browning faster than you like just lay some foil on top. I brushed the biscuits with butter right before it was done and popped back in the oven for a few minutes.

The verdict? They all liked it very much. The kids ate two helpings (minus the carrots) and Levi no longer acted like he was vomiting in his mouth like he did when I first told him that's what I made. 1/3 of the second dish is gone but you can't tell. Winner winner chicken pot pie dinner!

Like a Suitcase Full of Cheese on the Stairwell. But Grosser.

2011-07-01T04:43:00.000-05:00

*Don't read this at or near any meal time. It's gross, yet touching. You've been warned.*

I know, it's been a while since I blogged. I should probably fill you in or something but I couldn't possibly. Going to skip right to the good stuff.

First of all, we are doing no TV M-F this summer. You can roll you eyes now like I did Monday morning when I forgot about it and Levi reminded me. This annoyed me greatly. I wake the girls up and carry them into the living room every morning and they watch PBS while I get ready. Genius. Done that for their whole lives. I still carry Mia. She always tucks her arms under mine and whispers to me if it's her turn to be on the couch. If it isn't her turn she says nothing in hopes that I will forget and put her an the couch anyway.

Jules, however, tells me every single morning that it's her turn to be on the couch and that's why she gets carried into the living room last. Because she lies.

When I wake Jules up the first thing she does is search for her blanket and then grabs around my neck so tight sometimes it makes me cough. She hits my gizzard. Except that I always thought a gizzard was a neck part of a chicken and now I know it's not so I should stop saying that when referring to my Adam's apple.

Don't Google gizzard.

Google is good for lots of things. But not gizzards.

Like to find out if your 7 day old hermit crab is alive or dead and what that fishy smell is coming out of it's crabitat.

Mia's crab to be exact. Hermie. Aunt Stephanie and the cousins gifted them to us for their birthdays. First bad sign....fuzzy mold on the coconut fiber substrate. Second bad sign....gnats in the crabitat. Third bad sign....WHAT is that smell? As if bad sign number 3 weren't enough... let me tell you about bad sign number four.

I decided to figure out just exactly what was going on with those guys and took them out and put them in a big white bowl with a puddle of water in the bottom. I left them alone to give them time to come out and quit being all hermit-like.

I returned to them after a few minutes and Jules' crab, "Violet but you can call her Allison for short", was peeking out and trying in vain to get out of the bowl. Mia's crab had not moved so naturally I picked it up and looked inside it. It looked fine.

Ok, not really naturally. I'm not down with critters like Mia.   But, after noticing that those guys weren't exactly the huge pinching threat that I thought, I got brave.

So I gently shook it.

And then. THEN. It slung out of it's shell and landed with a plop into the bowl. The nasty naked crab body was not in it's shell where all good nasty naked crab bodies SHOULD be. In absolute shock and horror I threw the shell down and covered my eyes and squealed. My heart was racing and I was gagging. And squealing.

Then I peeked through my fingers...at a distance.

The next part is the grossest part ever.

I had to lean in a little to confirm that it was being eaten by worms.    I think you know what those would be called but I can't bring myself to type that nasty "M" word.

No wonder "Violet but you can call her Allison for short" was trying to get out of that bowl of death. At this point I must admit I contemplated hermit crab murder. It would have been a lot easier to say they were both dead than just one and would prevent worm infested crab guts ever coming into my line of vision again. Then I realized that would be a lot harder and involve more of me than I am capable of so I decided to save her. I can't even step on a bug for Pete's sake and not because I like bugs but b/c GROSS! I trap them under cups and let Levi take care of it when he gets home. Duh. I quickly picked her up and rinsed her off under the faucet at the risk of drowning her. BUT death germs must be washed off and I had to make sure she didn't have the same problem Hermie did.

Here is the part where I'd just like to say that I am not Heather Hendrick and should not have to put up with this boy-nasty-business in my house. I keep finding myself in situations that surely only a mother of 4 boys would be in. What gives?

I put "Violet but you can call her Allison" in a new bowl and she did not like it and is still not happy.   It's like I have a caged hermit crab zombie scratching and clawing to get out. Quite unsettling. Hmmm. Perhaps she IS a hermit crab zombie. If she will just be patient and give me time to think I will have her in appropriate living quarters soon enough.

At this point the girls were unaware of the happenings. I always err on delaying bad news but not that night. I decided to take the "blurt it out" method in hopes that Mia wouldn't really care b/c, after all, it had only been 7 days. I knew (sadly) that Jules' crab still being alive would be difficult.

"Hey Mia? Um, your crab is dead."

She stared at me for a few seconds then asked if Jules' was dead too.

"No, her's is ok right now."

And, then the tears came. Sounds mean but, whatever. It is far worse to have your hermit crab die than for your sister's to die. It just is.

Because of her intense love for creepy crawlies I knew this would be hard despite her mere 7 day relationship with Hermie. Jules was trying to console Mia and at the same time cover her elation at the non-dead status of her own crab. A very hard thing to master. She's not quite there yet.

When people cry I often offer money or prizes. Even my friends. Try me. Start confiding in me and cry. You might end up with whatever the most valuable thing in my purse is. Kind of how you reach in for candy or gum for a child, except it might end up being my Bobbi Brown Concealer which is quite the catch, really. I would hand it to you and then say "There, do you feel better now?"

Anyway, she asked where it was. The dead body. Because she wanted to BURY it. I pretended to not hear that and moved on to ice cream.

I told her the very best thing about a pet dieing is the my-pet-died-and-now-I-get-ice-cream trip. She was not overly impressed with that and began to ask if crabs have babies.

Um. Maybe. BUT, let's talk about ice cream. And...tap tap tap...is this thing on? Your crab is dead. Dead crabs def. do not have babies.

And then she asked how that even works. Hermit crabs having babies. I was thinking... Oh heck no. I am NOT having the your-pet-died conversation and where-do-babies-come-from conversation all in one night. So I said, "Want to go rock climbing with dad this week?"

That seemed to brighten her mood enough to go to bed without being too upset.

I was adamant that the girls did not see the nasty naked dead crab body for obvious reasons. I was traumatized by what I saw so certainly they would be. But, dad took care of that. He let them both see it after I left for work the next morning. Awesome. I was thinking he, in the very least, disposed of it after the viewing.   Why else would you bother going within 10 feet of that thing? Neither of us handle gross situations well and we sort of use the Everybody Loves Raymond see who caves first method. You know, like the suitcase full of cheese on the stairwell?

Mia was absolutely insistent that we bury it. Fine. When your dad comes home he can do just that.

As soon as Levi got home he was asked to bury it repeatedly until he did. There might have been some heavy ~~threats~~ persuasion on my part but either way I was glad that it was somewhere other than in the bowl on the back porch. I was willing to just not ever go out there again and leave it.

I was relieved and thought the horror was over however, the girls had a different plan.

They gracefully prepared the grave site because that is what "Heremy the heremt" deserved. As I approached Mia standing over it I put my arm around her. Jules walked up with a weed in her hands carrying it like a bridal bouquet. She began speaking, breaking the silence.

"Dear God, thank you for our hermit crabs. They were fun and we love them and we really did try to take care of both of them. Please help Hermie have fun playing with all the other dead hermit crabs and help Mia not be sad. And please help the whole world too. Amen."

Goodbye Heremy. And good-luck "Violet but you can call her Allison".

An Ewy Gooey Squishy Wishy Very Long LOVE Post.

2011-02-18T01:14:00.001-06:00

These tiny blank cards came with those CUTE brown paper bag envelopes. They glued Vintage Valentines that were actually cupcake pics fr/ Hobby Lobby as were the hearts..we broke the pics off of some and left them on others to look like a sign. There was a boy design and a girl design.

Pics taken with my iPhone and printed on plain white printer paper then cut with scallop scissors leaving a white border. We stapled the three layers (blank card on the back to sign, card stock, and the pic) together on most but Jules enjoyed gluing hers instead. Mia likes a get-r-done approach best.

They stamped "with LOVE" on the back and signed.

This is the pic I took exaclty when Levi said..."Don't take a picture of me crafting."

This picture was taken immediately following the previous one that I took for good measure. Jules is in the exact same pose...Levi was still cutting away...and BAM. Right in the head. We are working on impulse control. She said she was trying to get him to look up and smile. This did not result in Levi smiling.

I get funny stares when the girls show up to school with things like hand-made Valentines. I get snarky remarks like..."Well, look at you Martha Stewart." It's not usually a compliment. I love to craft. I always...always...(ask my mother and sister who had to put up with my MESSES for years) have loved to craft. While most kids were watching saved by the bell after school I was watching Martha Stewart, Lynette Jennings and The Chistopher Lowell Show. I don't care how crazy our lives are, we will stop and craft together. The laundry will still be rotting on the floor in three hours in just the same way it has been for like 2 weeks.

These little toots are the reason I stayed up until 3am cutting paper, punching holes, sorting stickers, and stuffing Valentines. Jules is a heartthrob. There is no doubt.

Mia's class enjoyed these semi-homemade Valentine treats. These are store bought Rice Krispie treats sprayed with pink icing paint (in a can) and squirted with a zig-zag of icing that came in a squeeze tube. They were then topped with Valentine Sprinkles. These were supposed to be all homemade...can you tell I ran out of time? For the time I saved I spent a ridiculous amount of money in pre-made crap. So it goes. Can't be Martha all the time. Sometimes you gotta be Sandra Lee.

After we ate our delivery Pizza for dinner...ok, I've gone from Martha Stewart to Sandra Lee to Roseanne Barr in one post...Levi and I gave the girls their Valentine bags full of goodies.

By FAR the most beloved gift in a while. Have I mentioned we've never had Silly Bandz? We are like the last ones on earth to get them. Their friends have had mercy on them and given them one or two but they were the reject ones...like a mustard bottle and one we still have no clue what it is exactly. But these ones are the bomb. High heels, animals, lipsticks, dresses, lips, hearts, fruit, purses, knee boots...they are in love. Too bad all their friends are so over them already.

The number one HANDS DOWN best thing the Swinney family did last year was begin volunteering at the Life Shelter. This one simple thing has taught our girls more than we could have ever taught them through mere conversation or lecture. They are forever changed and all Levi and I did was fill out some paper work and cleared a one hour block from our schedule one evening a week.

Since this is about love...I LOVE seeing our girls serve at the Life Shelter. It's not easy. Sometimes (recently) I want to run away and never come back. I've seen Mia go from not wanting to be touched by those "slimy kids" to wiping this little guys nose whenever necessary. Their confidence in dealing with these kids has grown tremendously. To be honest, I can't do it without them. Levi has been working late hours and if the girls can't go with me...I can't go. I need them.

Jules very much enjoys reading to the kids. It's been a pleasure seeing her pretend to read by just talking about the pictures to actually reading them. She is a natural with the kids. She calls them honey and sweetie. She has to set aside her 5 year old desires to play and instead, go around reminding them to share, be kind, say please and thank you.

One thing that came as a surprise was how this work at the Life Shelter translated in another setting. Our Sunday School hosted a carnival at our church for the Shelter. It was for our own children and the shelter children to participate and play games and just have FUN. I was so surprised when Mia and Jules helped work the games the entire time. They also passed out snacks and helped tend to the guests as they ate. There were other children who helped as well I guess I just expected mine to go play which would have been totally FINE...we wanted the kids to get to mix and mingle with each other. It was a nice surprise to see them serve voluntarily. It just goes to show that actions do speak louder than words. I could have told the girls every night to be kind and serve others but it would have never impacted them or grown them the way the Life Shelter has. It made our job of parenting much MUCH easier.

I hesitate at times to brag on my kids. I don't want others to think I think their kids are less special or great orr that we think our kids are better than everyone. But, the girls deserve this recognition from me and their dad. We are so proud of them. Levi and I do a lot of things WRONG but in the midst of the wrong God can work wonders in one small act of right. And I really think that most kids, if given the opportunity, would rise to the occasion and are capable of so much more than we think.

I hope we can get involved in Girl Scouts b/c I've heard some very neat community service type projects they've done and I'm kind of in love with thin mints so I think it would be a perfect match.

Menu and Reviews Makes a Comeback.

2011-02-09T22:31:00.000-06:00

Thank goodness for the allrecipes for iphone app. I was able to plan my menu in a snap and get to Target on a time crunch on Saturday despite the flu, fever virus, and 4 (now 5) snow days we just went through. The menu this week is pretty simple.

Menu:
Beef Stew (my mom's recipe-ish..never tastes exactly like hers but it does suffice)
Chicken in Basil Cream, semi-homemade mac-n-cheese, brusells sprouts (minus the mustard)
Spinach Bisque in mini-bread bowls
American Lasagna w/ garlic bread
Baked Chicken, green beans, loaded baked potatoes

You want to hear a sad story? I made the beef stew on Monday. Big ol' Texas sized pot of it. The girls and I ate it that night. Levi took the big pot of it out of the fridge to make him a bowl for work but left it all out and it spoiled. The whole pot spoiled. My backup plan was Wendy's. We brought it home. Took 3 or 4 bites of my burger but then had to go to the restroom so I sat it on the end table and came back to an empty plate and a very happy and full dog.

Today was snow day.

A perfect day for stew.

But since that didn't work out I moved on to the Spinach Bisque. Let me just say...yum. And before you all judge that precious crock-pot woman for using a whole block of Velveeta in it...just shut up and taste it. You will soon choose to block out the Velveeta part. It was so very good and I fully expected to hate it. It is a great pot-luck dish b/c who cooks healthy for that? Certainly not me. I want people to like my food so pass the butter and fake cheese please.

It is insanely easy. The only thing I left out of the recipe was nutmeg. I like nutmeg in my pumpkin pie but not my soup. You put one box of thawed and drained frozen spinach in the bottom of the crock pot. Might I suggest half a box? OR to cut it up like you would cut up spaghetti? Or even process it? Because my girls just had a hard time with the stringy-ness of it and the much-ness of it. They were longing for more of what they call "soup juice". Interpret: They would have rather just had cheese soup.

The did assure me that the spinach didn't taste bad at all but it just kept sliding down their throats and making them gag and their eyes water.

I'm totally convinced.

You then toss in a half cup of finely chopped onion on top of the spinach. If it's a big onion...just to 1/3 of it or 1/4 of it. In a separate pot make a *rue (melted butter and flour) in which you add milk, water, and salt and pour over the spinach and onion. Do not stir yet. Be patient. Cube up that mystery cheese stuff and throw it in. Don't they look like happy little cheese blocks floating around in that yummy stuff? But wait. Don't stir. I said be patient.

Now, put the lid on it and let it simmer on low for 4-6 hours. Ok, I only let it cook 3 (still cooked it on low) b/c I always get a late start on things. Even on snow days when I had all day to do it. I would be afraid to do as long as 6 hours but that's b/c I'm a worrier.

You will be tempted to stir it if you are home with it. I didn't stir it b/c she didn't say to and I like to follow rules. She said stir it when it's done. So that's what I did and boy oh boy:

I did have to stir it really good to get all the Velveeta (now forget I said that) mixed in but the consistency of the soup was perfect for me. I can imagine it with broccoli...cauliflower....the possibilities are endless. This soup wasn't the only show stopper.

These are floured telera rolls from Target. They were amazing with this soup.

With a little ~~digging, scrapping, and pulling~~ delicate carving I was able to make these cute bread bowls:

This definitely took the sting of me serving that slimy goop of a vegetable otherwise known as Spinach away a bit. The girls really liked the flavor and were giddy about the bread bowls. They just had a very hard time with the texture of the spinach. I get it. Next time I may go ahead and process the spinach so that it is not stringy or clumpy.

Maybe I just really liked this because my stew got ruined and my dog ate my burger last night. Perhaps I was just glad it survived until I actually got to eat it.

*About rue. I really like making rue and I don't know why. It's just one of those things. I do have some tips, though. There are light rues and dark rues. A dark rue is just cooked longer therefore it is darker. This recipe will just be using a light rue. Melt the butter over medium heat (do not boil). I usually remove the pan from heat at this point and stir in the flour if I'm making a light rue. It will be a paste. Slowly whisk in the milk and water mixture until fully incorporated and there are no clumps of the rue left.

Live(ish) From the Frozen Tundra.

2011-02-02T12:51:00.000-06:00

While we wait for our rolling black out to come along I thought I'd slip in this post from yesterday, the day time froze.

And everything else in sight.

We Swinney's never waste an opportunity to sleep late. I made certain to turn off the girls' alarm clocks just in case school was canceled and it's a good thing I am responsible like that b/c we are on day two of no school. Always good and always bad. I just hate going to school in June.

We woke up to these two between us doing whatever they do. If they had facebook pages their relationship status would be "it's complicated". Jules is aware that Penny is not always excited to see her. It could be the way she tucks tail and runs like a bat out of hell when Jules enters the room. Just a hunch. But sometimes they get along just fine. Like this morning. It sort of depends on both of their moods. And one of them (certainly not going to say who) has very unpredictable mood swings and may or may not have yanked on the other's ears in order to make them stand up chanting "I wish you were a Chihuahua! I wish you were a Chihuahua!"

But these two. What love. Like peanut butter and chocolate. Cinnamon and Sugar. They just go together. Mia lets Penny sleep on her bed every night. I say let b/c if Penny were to dare try to sleep with Jules she might get flung across the room. I may or may not have witnessed this before. The nerve of that dog to lay her puppy paws on the royal sheets.

This is what happens when your kids want to go play outside and you tell them to wait except they want to get ready right NOW. They get themselves ready. By the looks of them you might think they are trying to cop a stay at the Life Shelter. But, no. This is actually their best effort. I have been thinking I should better equip them in the getting dressed department but now I'm 100% convinced I do.

This is the half inch thick sheet of ice right outside our back door. There is snow on top of it which is mighty decieving but rest assured, there will be no snowmen built during this winter blast. No, this winter blast has left the streets empty. The silence is in fact, defening. No children frolicking in the snow. No friendly snowball fights with the neighbors. Just the bitter 17 degree temperatures with a "feels like" temp of 1 degree and below zero windchills.

But, wait. That would keep MOST people in doors. But not the Swinneys. We like to keep it interesting around here and decided to take a 2 mile roundtrip treck to Tom Thumb for sodas and candy. Oh, and it's possible that I had an ulterior motive to snag a Chi Latte at the Starbucks stand they have there. You can tell they are standing on the trick snow here. The huge field of this tricky stuff outside of the school was so inviting and tempting but alas it was all a big hard crunchy hoax.

Thanks to Aunt Lexi for filling us in on the Starbuck's "shorts". The girls scored short hot chocolates and Levi and I got our non-coffee fix. Well, first he insulted the barista by telling her that their hot chocolate sucks and how he hates coffee. Then she politely suggested he try a vanilla bean steamer which was amazing...and very hot. I have to wonder if she might have heated his drink up a tad bit more than ours seeing as how mine was perfectly drinkable and his burnt about half his tastebuds off.

I guess she she showed him.

On our way back we stopped by the school to stick our tongues out at it and laugh in it's face. We chanted some mean things to it and proceeded to, well....

Shake our hineys at it.

And that was approximately the last moment the trip was fun. Immediatley following the inappropriate rump-shaking Jules began to cry. Upon entering the neighborhood she began to wail. This wailing broke that defening silence I mentioned earlier and so did my desparate efforts to ~~shut her up~~ calm her.

And then she got louder.

I don't know why we even try to do these things. They always end in Levi and Mia leaving me behind trying to convince Jules that her legs are not broken and that she isn't going to die. Although, this trip was a tad different consideing the sub-zero wind chills. I did begin to wonder just exactly how long and at what temperature frost bite sets in. Because surely something that terrible was happening to Jules at the decibal her wailing was. And did I mention the echo?

As soon as we got home Mia and Jules both melted and this was all that was left of them. O.k., not really but how funny does that look? But seriously, their shoe basket and coat hooks are within 2 feet of this heap on the floor. I'm not annoyed.

I had to rock Jules like a baby for a while in order to calm her down. I was afraid with all the facial contorting that was going on that she might not ever look the same. But as you can see she is back to being as cute as can be.

Here we are in front of the fire. This picture is important b/c the entire way to Tom Thumb and back the only thing Levi was concerned with was his dang fire. Nevermind Jules and her frost bite scare. He was certain that without constant poking and prodding it would disolve in to nothing more than stone cold ashes. Just that quick. Thank goodness nothing of the sort happened. I don't know what we would have done (except for maybe just continute using the electric heat) if that fire had gone out while we were gone.

Here is me not amused that I'm having to wear a hat and scarf indoors and still, I was freezing. See the crock-pot in the back ground? Those are black beans and they were delicous. Mia eats nothing as a rule of thumb but she engulfs black beans. By the time Levi and I had buttered our cornbread she was asking for seconds and almost choking on the cornbread she had shoved in her face. I know. That is a totally weird thing for a kid to love.

We end the night with Jules "pulling" her own tooth. It technically just fell out but she had her hand on it so, whatever. It will be our little secret. She lost her first tooth about one year earlier than her sister. It was so completley barely hanging on that we were all very excited to see it gone. No more haveing to see her flick it back and forth watching us all squirm and squeel in disgust. Gross me out.

Now, on to laundry and cleaning up Baby Alive's accident. *Grrr.* Last night Jules prayed over our food and asked that her Baby Alive not be dead since she hasn't fed her since Christmas break. Bwhahahahaha! It's also funny seeing Jules get super stressed out b/c her Baby Alive won't stop crying despite her efforts to feed her and give her drinks and change her. She is walking around like a hot mess trying to get that doll to shush.

And you know what? Serves her right! I'm not relishing in that at all. Not one bit.

The Flu Shot? Yeah, about that....

2011-01-19T23:00:00.000-06:00

Mia has the flu.

Her fever was 103.7. She was slightly delirious and walking like Otis Campbell after a long night throwing back moonshine. I was hoping I didn't get a sur-charge for bringing her in half-dead.

First thing the Dr. asked? Did you're family get the flu shot?

At that moment I looked over at Mia and angel wings sprouted from her back right between her shoulder blades. I then turned to Jules who's face was glowing angelically under the soft glow of her halo. They stared at me waiting for an answer. I forced myself to answer truthfully as the horns and tail that started sprouting from my head and hiney retracted.

"No." I answered in shame.

All the "FLU SHOTS HERE" signs I saw at the grocery store, the pharmacy, the schools, the churches and even the pet store over the past 6 months flashed before my eyes.

He tells me that of all the cases of the flu he has seen this year 100% of them did not get the flu shot. I wondered if at that moment he just wanted me to relinquish all rights to my children right then and there so he could flog me for such childhood neglect. Or just give me a needle out of the needle trash box and jab it into my eyeball. Kind of like Russian Roulette but with infectious disease.

I said. "Oh."

At this point it wasn't confirmed that she even had the flu, thank you very much. It could be some other flu-like illness that causes body aches, high fever, chills, runny nose and eyes, headache, and coughing. So before I get up on the witness stand and swear on the bible to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help me GOD, if you can't say anything nice or accusatory then don't say anything at all.

We get sent to the lab which is down the hall to the right to the left to the right. This would be an easy feat for most mothers with two very mobile children except that this mother was toting three sonic drinks, two hoodies, a medical file, and a purse all the while trying to keep my half-dead daughter from bumping into walls and tripping over her own two feet. Oh, and Jules was holding up the rear walking all *drag legged down the hall-way b/c she decided to smuggle her bag of Jelly Bellies in her boot.

And yes, the boot was on her foot. If you think that's weird? You should see her prepare her escape route in the bathroom before she flushes.

As we sit in the lab Mia is very aware that she is about to get an extra long Q-tip shoved up her nose. Why does she know this? Because she is an elephant in disguise and never forgets. She remembered the swab from her Dr's visit when she was 4. She had the flu then to.

And no, some mother's never learn.

I told her it would just be uncomfortable. I was wrong. She almost tore that woman's arm off and beat her with it.

Twice.

It's so hard to see your oldest child who is mostly brave all of the time and rarely gets upset to be so very upset and knowing you could have prevented it all with that flu shot from the pet store.

I lead the girls on the walk of shame with Mia's positive flu test gripped tightly in my hand and we sit back down in our room and get her prescription.

If the story ended here it wouldn't be so bad, right? She takes the med's and we all live happily ever after?

We pull in to CVS and I decided to allow Mia to stay in the car. I, mean, she is almost 8 and she was almost half-dead so I thought this one time would be o.k. Mia was fine with that. She just moaned when I asked if she'd rather stay put. But then there's this thing called Jules that had. a. cow. at the thought of leaving her sister in the car alone. Have I ever mentioned she is chicken little? The sky is always falling? Well, I get out and she begins yelling "NO, mommy NO! Don't leave us in the CAR!"

And then I quickly opened their door and gently yanked Jules out of the car and had to literally drag Mia out of the it and carry her in.   All 50 lbs of dead weight of her. I reach the chairs in the back near the pharmacy and fling her lifeless body onto one of them while I wait patiently to drop of her prescription.

When it's finally my turn they inform me they are all out of Tamiflu. I was thinking...this is flu season. Put a big note on the front door that says "SOLD OUT OF TAMIFLU" like they do when a movie is sold out. That would be helpful. Real helpful.

I buy her some Tylenol so we could at least get her out of her fever induced coma and head out to another CVS that I had already called and confirmed they had Tamiflu. I catch on fast with some things. Just not flu shots.

I grabbed Mia's face and sort of talked to her like you would talk to a person hard of hearing or who didn't speak English and said "You won't have to get out of the car again, OOOKKAAAYYY? This     is our LAAAST stop! I'm going to swing through the drive through at the next CVS and then dad will pick it up, WOULD THAT BE GOOD?"

She stared at me through glassy eyes and I think she blinked twice. That must have been code for yes.

We drive across town to the closest CVS with Tamiflu and wouldn't you know it's not free standing and there is no drive through. This time I put my foot down. She's staying in the car and Jules will get over it.

Shortly after I attempted that for the second time I found myself once again pulling Mia out of the car by the neck of her shirt and lugging her limp self into the store. Why? Because Jules threw a bigger fit than I had energy to handle. Because her melt downs take more energy to handle than carrying 50 lbs of dead weight across the parking lot and into a store....TWICE....and back.

The bright side is Mia didn't get kidnapped.

No, she is snuggled up in her bed, fever down, chills gone, Tamiflu taken, and hopefully sleeping sweetly despite the miserable coma she spent most of the afternoon in.

Wonder who's gonna bite the dust next? Taking bets now....

Reinventing the Wheel.

2011-01-03T01:10:00.001-06:00

That's what I do with chore charts.    A few months ago I did a simple picture chore chart on posters. After realizing that those core items were def. keepers I decided to do something more permanent.

And more specific.

I know. It's only like the 10th one I've done. Can't help it. It's what I do. I make chore charts in my sleep and buy dozens and dozens of eggs for no reason. Just go with it.

Let's just say my girls are hard to keep up with. They are the busiest little things I've ever seen. They don't stop..not from the moment they wake up until they fall into sweet-praise-GOD-sweet-sleep.   Sound familiar?

We fall asleep in Kansas. Wake up in a twister. And all end up in a different place.

Though our end-up places are all different the method of getting there is still the same. Mass Chaos.

This mass Chaos of sorts can weigh on a person. A person called mom.    With my new job and having two girls in school for the first time I'd say my limping across the first-semester-finish line was a darn good way to go out. I'll take my green participation ribbon and wear it with pride. It represents me not running away from home and going coo-coo for co-co puffs or something like that.

One thing that had to change was our wake-up time. If the girls were not Tasmanian devils then I would let them continue to sleep until 7am each morning but they are and now they will get up at 6:30am. They asked for alarm clocks for Christmas and had no idea how that would come back and bite them in the hiney. Their alarms will go off at 6:20am and they get one snooze then it's rise and shine.

This system will make you think I'm a freak. An OCD freak. I'm nothing of the sort which is probably why I'm getting plowed to the ground by a 38 lb brunette and 48 lb blondie. They have 20 items on their list broken in to morning, after school, and evening responsibilities all written on colored pop-sickle sticks. They only get paid for 4 things a day M-F worth .25 each. So $5 a week if they don't get any penalties.

Penalties. We will tally up the total money they earn each day minus penalties on the dry erase board that came with our kit and pay them the net total on Saturday morning. The girls helped me pick 3 offenses that will result in a financial penalty of .25 each. They both will get a penalty for fighting in a way that might involve violence, verbal outbursts, and/or destruction of the other's personal property. Yes, it can get down and dirty in this house of gals.    They can have an argument as long as they use the approved method of resolution which is not spiting toothpaste spit in your big sister's face b/c she wouldn't get off of your step stool.

They will also both get a penalty for incomplete or skipped responsibilities that can include any of the 20 on their chart even though they only get paid for 4. Harsh...yes. But, they need this. This will be good for them. And for me.

Mia will get a penalty for inappropriate loud outbursts. She likes to scream randomly, like at the dinner table. Or right in our faces. Or in the car. Or just watching TV when your totally not expecting it. It's unnerving and we are so done with it.   We hope to teach her to use her enthusiasm at the right time, like on the sideline of a football game. You know, when yelling and screaming is expected.

Jules will get a penalty for throwing a fit. I wouldn't really call it a fit anymore so much as a melt down. She gets upset very easily and has an extremely hard time getting over it but she is doing so much better trying to be a big girl about life's little annoyances like not getting the pink cup and plate for breakfast. And no I'm not getting rid of the pink plate to solve that problem...she is old enough to get.the.heck.over.it. Her drama is so exhausting and I pray that we can mold that passion and conviction into good one day. Like on broadway where dramatic gestures, tears, and over doing it is the whole point.

Once their responsibility (written on jumbo colored popsickle sticks) is finished they take it off and put it in the magnetic pencil cups that aren't in the picture. They have a pencil cup for each color. The plan is to help them form some good habits so that we can reduce the responsibilities tracked to just chores. But as of now they are so out of control and they need some detailed structure.

The top dry erase board is the chart where you keep up with their allowance and penalties. The bottom ones have a little paper grasper that you can put a picture up of something they would like to save for. You calculate how much you have to save each week in order to get it by X date. This is the very reason why nothing is up there. They had Heely's up there and once I told them how much they cost and how long it would take to save for them they decided that was for the birds. This tells me I made a good decision by not buying them for Mia seeing as how she doesn't want them bad enough to save for them. The save, give, spend envelopes are in the middle along with a calculator and coin bag (all came with the kit).

I keep the cafeteria menu and calendar on the front. The important papers that I need visible go on the clips below the calendar...one for each of them. They still have a notebook where I keep papers that I need to refer back to from time to time. The artwork they would like to display goes on the bottom. This will not last. My fridge gets out of control fast. I will make my best effort at controlling the clutter that tends to gravitate towards it.

Now, if you think I'm an organized maniac then stay tuned. I will prove I'm not. I'm kind of bi-polar caught in the extremes of complete and total loss of control and control freak. There is no middle ground. It's my main fault and something I'd love to change about myself.

I have no idea if this will work or stick. I am praying we as parents can be disciplined enough to keep it going b/c let's face it, that is the key to a chore chart..the parent/s enforcing it. Lord help us all and I'm not even joking.

Come back for a sneak peak into my Monica ~~closet~~ room. It's the reason why the skeleton cling film is still up in the window in there waving at my neighbors. I can't get to him to take him down so I thought about writing a "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" bubble coming out of his mouth on the outside of the window.

"Help me...." would be more appropriate.

Some Favorites for Now.....

2010-11-22T18:38:00.001-06:00

I am about to be knee deep in laundry and packing, cooking and cleaning, and attempting to not get in a huge fight with Levi as such stressors as holidays can induce.

I don't do well under the holiday pressure but I'm trying to find a happy place.

I thought I'd leave you with some recipes that we have enjoyed lately.

Toasted & Breaded Ravioli    This was hit with the girls. They ate them like chicken nuggets dipping them in marinara sauce (Prego). I used cheap powdered parm., Italian seasoning, and salt in the bread crumbs. I followed the baking instructions exactly, though. Levi and I thought they went well with the Spinach Basil Pesto...

Spinach Basil Pesto The last time I reviewed this something went awry. I am almost certain it was unripe green garlic that was the culprit. This time I used the minced garlic in a jar and it was perfect. The girls ate it up.

Now, pick yourself up off the floor. I know, we were shocked they ate it too. More shocking events follow....

Black Beans w/ Cilantro (and Avocado) This is a link I got from the crock pot lady. I cut the recipe in half b/c I am now in the know that beans explode. Ask me how I know? So, I used one small bag of beans and we had beans for years. If there is one or two of you perhaps you should cut it down even more. I did soak them over night. I don't ever soak my pinto beans but I have never cooked dry black beans and didn't want to chance a failed meal. You must...must...must cook these for the complete time. Beans are stubborn. Be careful towards the end of cooking...watch the liquid and add more water if it gets low. We ate ours over cornbread and topped with fresh cilantro and sliced avocado. I loved them. You can use the left overs in a fresh home-made tortilla from Central market with some provolone, cilantro, salsa, and avocado...yum. Oh, and the girls loved them too.

Now, pick yourself up off the floor again...I told you more shocking events were to come. It doesn't end here....

Catherine's Spicy Chicken Soup This is one of the very first recipes I cooked from allrecipes.com. You MUST change the servings from 8 to 4. The 4 serving recipe is actually enough for 8-12. Not kidding. Ask me how many the 8 serving recipes will actually serve. Glad you asked. Um, like 50. Ask me how I know.   This soup is my favorite right now. It is a southwest style soup. I use boneless skinless chicken thighs. I was skeptical when it called for salsa and sour cream but it is delicious. I top each bowl I eat with an additional glop of sour cream and stir it in. I do not use crunched up tortilla chips b/c I can't do soggy things. I also don't top with cheese b/c I don't like globs of melted cheese in my soup...makes me gag. I know. I'm no fun at all. I do however use a whole can of corn even though the reduced serving portions calls for half. Both the girls liked this soup with crackers. And I add in the chicken broth until it is the consistency that we like, which is soupy. If you like thick and chunky...lay off the broth a bit. The girls happily ate this with crackers but left the chunks of tomatoes and corn behind....little terds.

But hey, judging by their track record this is outstanding. I am so happy they have enjoyed my cooking lately.

Apple Dumplings I have posted these on my blog twice before. This recipe is just about perfect. I have copied and pasted what I wrote in the past about it....

     If you attempt to make this I did change just two things. First of all, I doubled the crust and doubled the sauce....this really is a MUST. Then I used small apples but I cut them in half and wrapped them in dough instead of using them hole, still dumping sugar all over them before bringing the dough up around the top to seal. And don't EVEN worry about cutting the dough in perfect squares and pinching the corners together and all that jazz....just cut a hunk of rolled dough out and smash it around the apple until it's all covered. Mine look just as pretty to me. Oh, and one more thing...lay light on the nutmeg on the apples...I just sprinkled a pinch over the sugar before wrapping up the dough and it was plenty.

I am about to make a triple batch of these babies tonight...let the thanksgiving baking commence!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone....hope you eat well, laugh lots, and try not to kill any family members!

Sally...it's been a while.....

2010-11-02T00:34:00.003-05:00

Does Gloria Bunker come to mind? Pebbles and Bam-Bam? Save the Children? I remember the commercials she did for some organization promising to help kids wondering if it were real. Wondering if they were all crooks and taking the money rather than giving it to the children in need. Or better yet the government garnishing most of it leaving little to actually put towards helping the kids. Was it all a big scam?

I don't remember being totally bothered by what I saw. It felt so far away. Like it just didn't apply. Would the picture being sent really be the child I was helping? Or was it the same picture sent to 100 different families?

Now I know it wasn't but at the time that's what went through my head. And, being that it was only through the television and snail mailed letters...it was kind of hard to really touch it, it that makes sense.

Enter the technology BOOM.

Technology is a horrible beautiful thing. At times I hate it and then at times I stand in awe of it. One thing I love about technology is that it can take far away, distant, unrelatable things and put them right in your living room. It can make you face things that distance allows you to hide from. Things like malnutrition.

The thing we've been hearing and seeing on television since we were wearing footie pajamas. It's still here. It's so bad.

I don't have the time or energy to ask permission to use photos from these blogs so I'm going to have to post links. The Livesay's have been missionaries in Haiti for several years. If missionary makes you think boring...think again. They were there for the earthquake and are anxiously anticipating their return in December-ish. I love their blog. It is through their blog that I learned about the Medika Mamba program. Medika Mamba is a product made specifically to nurse malnourished children back to health in a matter of weeks. Real Hope for Haiti is a way to see first hand just how amazing this stuff is. They show you the faces. The faces of the children they take care of for weeks....months...to get them better. To see a four week progression of 4 courageous little girls click here.

I recently read their (the Livesay's) post about a little boy named Renald. I hope you go read it. I hope you watch the video of the Livesay's daughter talking about there time spent caring for him. As a mom, you can only hope to guide your children in such a way that they grasp the most important things in life...I think the Livesay's are doing just that.

I don't want my girls to miss the point. I want people to see Jesus in them not in what they can or cannot do. Not in how they dress. Not in what sport or club they are in. And that is a frightening thing to be responsible for.

I do know one thing. I see Jesus in the Haiti Rescue Center and those that work there. And to think I can directly be apart of something so great by giving money or sending supplies. I can see where my money is going and how it is being used. Awesome.

Thanks for listening.

So Halloween is my Christmas.....

2010-10-29T13:32:00.001-05:00

And what I mean is that I don't decorate my yard for Christmas like most Christmas lovers do. I don't know what it is. I am not interested in hanging lights on our house. Not in the least. And that kind of makes me a big fat hypocrite b/c that's pretty much one of my all time favorite traditions...to go see everyone else's Christmas lights.

We all have our talents. I will choose to enjoy the Christmas decorating talents of others and they can shun me for our spooky Halloween decorations that will surely attract all the evil spirits that hang out on the other side.

I made this wreath from a cheap black wreath from Michael's and a bouquet of purpleish-blackish glittered flowers that I pulled apart and hot-glued all over it. I used the stems as the accents sticking out on the top and then put cob webs all over it. I do realize the picture just looks like a black mass but it's pretty cute in person.

This was my favorite project for the season. With a $5 pair of Target tights, a $1.50 pair of size 9.5 goodwill shoes, a big bag of rice from Aldi, and some on-hand red glitter and glue you have the Wicked witch of the East and her ruby red slippers smashed under neath your house. Ding Dong. I named her Hazel after my great grandmother and her self proclaimed "huge feet".

The girls and I filled this fella's bones with rice to weight him down in case of gusty winds and such. They LOVE this guy. He was made to stick in the ground this way. We will be adding to our graveyard in years to come so watch your back....

Since I have a history of having a green thumb I thought I'd show case our d.e.a.d. holly bushes adorned with cobwebs. I thought their deaths really worked for me this Halloween season.

Oh, the confusion this little crow has caused in our neighborhood! We see his fellow crow friends looking upon him in such confusion on a daily basis! It's hysterical!

These are window clings by Martha Stewart from Michael's. The look great at night! As far as their clingy-ness....not so much. I used scotch tape to tape them up.

I gave up on making my own ghosts this year. I love these! They really look like they are floating. You know what's a tiny bit freaky? I took the photo of the two of them together at 12 noon.

I finally decided to hang up these old photos we have of our ancestors. I was reluctant at first but decided the girls should be proud of who they came from.

Next up! A very serious zombie and a very cute kitten. Can you possibly guess who is who?

Things I Love..

2010-10-25T00:59:00.000-05:00

I love change. Especially when it has to do with my blog format and completely screws up the entire thing.

I love bedtime. I read stories. Say prayers. Give hugs and kisses (times 100). Give that last sip of water. Tuck them in tight. Only to have them holler "Mommy...." immediately following my butt hitting the chair.

I really love it when there is one box of Rice Chex left on the shelf at Target. The very top shelf. In the very back. And I love it even more when there is not one single associate with in a 10 mile radius to get it down for me and I have to pick the girls up in approximately 12 minutes from choir. No time for associate hunting. Here's where I contemplate (and actually have done) climbing the shelves. Or using the basket as a step stool (have done that as well). But, Mia wasn't there to make sure it didn't roll out from under me (like she was last time) leaving me in a pile of humiliation over a dumb box of Rice Chex. Heck, I've even put her on my shoulders and risked both of our lives for a jar of bouillon cubes once. At the risk of not being able to check Rice Chex off my list I continued my shopping (only after stalking the next 10 people who entered the isle..sizing up their height and arm length) I decided to have the check out girl walkie-talkie someone to bring it to me. You know, that worked like a charm. I will never climb the shelves, or buggy, or stalk customers, or look for an associate again. Ever.

I LOVE it when I have the last load of laundry in the dryer. Whites to be exact. Only to find one tiny dirty white sock hiding behind the hamper.

I super love it when Jules gets in bed with us in the morning. That way, I have her freakishly loud sound-barrier-breaking-breathing on my left and Levi's nails-on-a-chalk-board snoring on my right. It makes that last 10 minutes of sleep just perfect.

And I'll just out myself now before he gets the chance. I grind my teeth. He says it's worse than snoring (which he denies). But, sweetie, watch yourself.   I've got some footage on my new iPhone (that you insisted on getting me..thanx) of you and your nose trumpet playing a little ditty and I will take. you. down.

I love it that I have bought a box of fettuccine on the last 4 grocery trips. But, unfortunately, have never used not even one of them. I've never been a collector but I suppose it's never too late to start.

Maybe that's why I have 3 dozen eggs too. I'm a food collector.

And by the way, I know I should be taking food inventory before shopping but guessing is so much more fun. And, I would never have become a collector if I took inventory.

I see a quiche in our future...and bread pudding....

I love it that my first aid kit dwindles to nothing more than some gauze and one old (perhaps used) band-aid on a weekly basis. The girls are aspiring nurses, I think. It's clear they have rigged an invisible tracking devise on said first aid kit. Despite my many attempts at hiding it they find it, take the stuff out of it, and put one thing in each of the 10 thousand purses they own (and loose on an hourly basis) Upon my request that they hand it over...they suddenly fall ill with the worst case of amnesia I've ever seen.

And I hope they are embarrassed when I bust out with what I call a ghetto band-aid the next time they scrape their knee. It's a torn off wad of paper towel and scotch tape. Oh, but wait. I think I stopped buying scotch tape b/c of that obsession. Hmm.. maybe I'll just stick the wad of paper towel on their knee and say good luck.

BTW...I sported the ghetto band-aid for much of my child-hood. You see, my mother got sick and tired of buying box after box of band-aids to feed my obsession and decided enough was enough. I get it now.

And last but not least, I love it when the naked dancing stick twirling guy seems to be ever present in my life. Like, when we come home from school he is walking by. And when I leave the house to go to the grocery store..he is walking by. Oh, and when the girls and I took a walk he was sitting in his yard next to one of his many "NO TRESPASSING" signs...(the tell tale sign of all neighborhood freaks) he blurts out in a drunken slur "You're a lovely ladeeee...and so are yur...girlss..and yur husband is lovely too!"

Aww, gee thanks. Made my day. And this is exactly when Jules asks me (as many times in a row as possible) what that black and white and red sign says in his yard. I try to mouth to her that I'll tell her later.

Oh, but that would never do. She persists. And get's louder. So, I tried squeezing her hand to shut her up. Nope. That made her yell...owwww why are you squeezing my hand! I just want to know what his sign says!"

Fine..it says No Trespassing. And you know what that means, Jules? It means that he doesn't want anyone to set foot on his property and if you do he will probably shoot you dead. Or kidnap you and hide you in his secret under ground cellar. Or beat the crap out of you with his walking stick.

There, happy now?   And, just so you know, the next time I "squeeze" your hand that means to zip it. Stat.

Worth a try..

2010-10-19T16:59:00.000-05:00

Modern Mom's Project 52:Date Night.

I don't have time to paraphrase so just go look at it. I haven't even told Levi about it yet but we are going to do this. I think it's a GREAT idea for busy people (kids or no kids).

It's low-cost and could be no-cost. It only takes an hour a week. It could save your marriage.

Off to go ride bikes and feed the mosquitoes!

Who Dat?

2010-09-29T23:30:00.002-05:00

There's no need for all you Saint's fans to get your hopes up that the Swinney's have gotten on dat band wagon.

We haven't.

But we did go to a Texas Ranger's game Monday night. It was one of those things where I knew the girls would enjoy it. I knew Levi would enjoy it. And I knew I'd rather pierce my eyelids.

O.k., I have to admit that I actually DO enjoy it for about an hour. The hot dogs...yum. The cotton candy...oh, yes. The atmosphere...all united in the name of baseball love.

But after an hour I start asking Levi what inning it is. Every 10 minutes. I've come to the conclusion that innings are like watching water boil. Excruciating.

As soon as the players got on the field Mia enthusiastically began to whoot, holler, and clap for the Cowboys. She said "Hey dad, which one's are the Cowboy's, huh? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" Levi stared at her blankly, not saying a word.

So, naturally her retort was "Come on Dad! You should know this!"

He sorted her out and she seemed to 'get it' that this was not football, the Cowboys were not playing, and that we were actually at a Texas Ranger's BASEBALL game.

And then Jules began to chant "Let's go! Badgers! Let's Go! Badgers!"

Poor, poor, Levi. I'm so sorry honey! I wish I was one of those girls that liked sports and maybe even one of those girls that pretends to like them for her man but I can't even muster enough care to pretend. But I like it when football is on.

In the background while I'm cooking, painting, or gluing glitter on something.

The girls really did have a blast. I brought a bag of things to do and it was never opened. Mia very much enjoyed everything about it. She was content observing, cheering, and bug watching. Because up there in the nosebleeds you are real close to the big lights. And those big lights make bugs to crazy things...like dive bomb you. More on that later.

Jules observed for a while and decided that she would dance. It was cute until she got a little too jiggy with it. Unintentional and innocent, I swear. But, that's hard to convince a crowd when they see this:

I stopped her immediately following her pole dance and right before I was certain she was about to drop it down low. Luckily, Levi was out shopping for a shirt so I got that under control before he could bare witness to Trixie shaking her tail feathers. And some other things.

Meanwhile, I decide that Mia needed some camera time and so I asked her to give me a smile. She did smile...in a stroke sort of way. She thought she was hilarious.

I showed it too her thinking she would be mortified and you know what she said?

Cooool.

I was quite entertained by those two crazies and then I started to get a little antsy. Jules began loosing her shiz over the dee-scusting crickets that were literally DIVE BOMBING us. It was seriously disturbing. Every time she thought one landed on her she would scream and convulse. Can't say I blame her b/c they were no ordinary crickets. Their wings were all jacked up and funky. They looked like some sort of Frankenstein cricket. Mia was collecting them for pets, practically. Gag.

I think Levi had had his fill of baseball by about the 7th inning and he so very graciously dismissed us. Jules was more than relieved to escape the crickets. She kept saying...I'm getting grossed out guys. I'm really getting grossed out guys.

Now here is where I shake my fist to the heaven's. I'm rolling my eyes as I type. Why bother sharing...you guys already think I'm an accident waiting to happen.

We approach the downward escalator. Mia and Levi get on, no problem. They are on their way to the bottom. I decided a long time ago that it is safer for the girls to get on without holding my hand b/c I have a bit of a phobia of them and I tend to hesitate before I step on. Now that they are older that usually works. Usually.

Except for that night Jules and I are standing right next to each other and I say...o.k...on three! And I began my decent while she remained at the top freaking out. I yell...Come on honey! You can do it! Please...just step on to it!

Except, that she couldn't. And wouldn't. She just began to cry.

So I began climbing up the downward (and going way to fast I might add) escalator. That was super hilarious. I couldn't get to her. I was trying to run up it...but again, it was going so fast I wasn't making much progress. Fortunately a nice lady grabbed her hand and kind of shoved her onto it.

It's like God suddenly remembered that nothing stupid had happened to me that day so he squeezed it in last minute. Not complaining....just stating the facts.

I can't imagine how boring our lives would be without Levi. I always resist his suggestions to deviate from the everyday ordinary things. Then he makes me go. And I always have fun and my mind is opened just that much more. The baseball game was one example but on Saturday we took the girls to their very first BAR.

We so did. It felt all kinds of wrong but it was soooo fun! It was supposed to be a family fun filled event at an outdoor pavilion that flooded that morning forcing them to move it to a bar and grill. Not like Chili's.

Like last call for alcohol bar.

However, in the name of family fun they did not allow smoking and kids were allowed so it was still a very safe and controlled environment.

And this was no ordinary blue grass band. They are called Cadillac Sky. Talk about ca-razy. Very entertaining. The girls were in complete awe of the entire thing. This was their first concert after all and daddy broke them in good. We sat on the floor right in the front...awesome.

Jules stayed right behind Levi resting her chin on his head...

Mia sat right beside him giggling at all the silly things the bearded guy did....

Thanks for keeping us cool, Levi. You enrich our lives in so many ways even though I usually don't realize it until after you've taken me somewhere kicking and screaming. I mean, you did take our 5 year old and 7 year old to a bar.

And that just makes me think of a quote made by Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama: "Look at you! You have a baby.....in a bar!"

Never a dull moment.....

The Truth About Parenting.

2010-09-24T12:17:00.001-05:00

I had no idea the hardest part of parenting for us would be managing the differences in mine and Levi's parenting styles.

And by manage I mean not kill each other.

It is not only a wedge in our marriage but a wedge in the dynamic of our family as a whole. It's not healthy. It's not fair to the kids. It's not fair to us.

But dang it. We are both right.

All. Of. The. Time.

I'm a push over.   He's a meany-head.

Here lies the problem. I think he is too harsh therefore I am extra soft. He thinks I am too soft so he, in turn, amps up the drill sergeant.

I feel that I am in a constant state of tug of war with me being the one tugged upon. At times, I am yanked to my hiney in one direction. Sometimes, I am yanked to my hiney in the other. A lot of times I plant my hiney in the middle and start singing kum ba yah and googling psyche wards within a 25 mile radius leaving those doing the tugging in fear that I might actually crack up right before their very eyes.

Levi feels like he is the bad guy all the time. He feels I override him too often and don't trust his decisions or method. I think he feels like the tug of war has the girls and I (and Penny) on one side and him on the other leaving him without a snowballs chance in hell to ever win.

One of our major points of contingency is dinner time. Let me give you a visual...

Last night I cooked what I thought would be a relatively kid-friendly meal. I don't know at what point I lost my mind and thought such a thing, but I did. I was hopeful. Those hopes were more than dashed when Mia began crying and saying that it tasted sooo bad that her stomach was very bubbly and it felt like she just ate soap. Tears streaming down her face.

Jules only ate one of the three things served to her but she ate a lot of it and wasn't cyring or telling me how just the mere smell of it was making her feel as though she might "frow up".   That was promising.

Levi didn't really like it either but he eats anything so he wasn't crying or almost throwing up.

I had already put brownies in the oven before we sat down to eat and we had great plans to have a family movie night. Mia especially loves family movie night. Of all things in the world...she will choose family movie night over most everything. AND the only candy she will eat is chocolate.

So the night was looking bright with brownies in the oven and family movie night just after dinner.

Except that Mia wouldn't eat her rice b/c it touched the asparagus juice. Now, please note, the asparagus was not the problem. I am not so cruel to force them to eat asparagus but they did try it. Just rice. White rice. Oh, that touched the asparagus juice and was cold at this point and she wanted it re-heated.

Except that dad said no more re-heating food. Great. I would have re-heated it but I didn't b/c he said no.

So, I mentioned that if she was that sick to her stomach that a brownie would not do her any favors. This was not what she wanted to hear. So she ran off and curled up in a ball to sob. She said something to the effect of "You don't even believe me! You think I'm just faking! Well, I'm not eating ANYTHING if I don't feel well and so I'm not eating. And if that means I can't have a brownie then FINE."

I sighed. I said that was fine. I went back to the kitchen to clean.

During this whole dramatic moment with Mia, Jules was dancing around singing "I get to eat a brownie! I get to have a brownie! Cuz' I ate my food! And Mi-uh-didn't! YAY!"

I had an idea! Because I'm the softy mom and I try to fix everything! Even though it always never works.

I decided to get Mia some fresh rice on a plate with no asparagus juice. B/c let's face it, asparagus juice is nasty and stinks. Mia liked this idea. Her face lit up...

Until we saw dad with the remaining fresh rice in his bowl scooping ladles full of the chicken juice she said tasted like soap and made her stomach bubble. He also chimed in...aww too bad, looks like you've got to eat what's on your plate! He may have even smiled about it.

Mia runs off dramatically crying yet again.

I sigh. And then I call her over and feed her the rice. She ate it. I thought this was great.

We get to watch a movie and we get brownies. Let's all cheer!

Then Levi says, we ain't watchin no movie. They took to dang long to eat their food and it's bed time. Bed time is bed time. End of story. Ain't gonna happen.

The girls both began to wail. They came to me begging me to make him change his mind.

Family fun night gone wrong.

I sigh. I took the high road and explained to them that sometimes things don't work out. Sometimes you plan on going to the zoo and it rains. Or you are going to a friends house and they get sick. This time, mom got a late start on dinner and they took too long to eat it so no movie.

And they wailed harder.

Mom to the rescue! Girls, let's focus on the positive. I'll get the brownies and, since we are short on time, I'll read to you while you eat them at the table. Yay! Cheer!

Except that when I went to cut them a brownie Levi had a problem with the size I gave them. He thought they should have a piece the size of a stick of gum and I disagreed. B/c what point would it be to serve such a small piece. That is more of a punishment then none at all. Duh. So he said..fine...give them more JUNK than you do PROTEIN. Fine with me. Huff. Puff. Snort.

Then we proceed to argue about whether the brownies were done or not. He said they were practically burnt I said they were practically raw.

I think Jules said "Here we go again...."

The girls about had seizures when they learned of his attempt at portion controlling their brownie. They both brought up the point that that was NOT apart of the deal.

I served them the brownies that I cut b/c I already had them cut and at this point I didn't care anymore.

Just make the night end.

I read. They finish eating and brush teeth. Then it's bed time.

If I believed in torture I'd tell you how horrible bed time is for us as well, but I won't. I'll stop there.

And my point? Levi and I are trying to form a united front. We've had one in the past, I think. It's funny how your kids change and all of the sudden you are presented with a new set of issues. We are a little slow in tuning in to it (the changes) so it sort of blows up in our faces and before you know it we have our boxing gloves on. It will take some negotiating and compromising, yes. BUT I know in the long run it will be better for us, better for his relationship with the girls, and better for me b/c I am sick and tired of fixing everything. Sick of them only coming to me for this or that. Sick of them coming to me to TELL on their own father.

However, it is at times warranted. Like when Jules told on Levi b/c he knocked her block tower down. Or when Mia told on him b/c he wouldn't let her out of a head lock.

I digress.....

Monday's Menu and Reviews:

2010-09-19T18:05:00.008-05:00

As you can see my blog is messed up. That's what I get for finally giving into the new editor they've been prompting me to use for weeks. Telling me the old editor would be obsolete soon. And this is the exact reason why I was reluctant. I do not like it. And my blog is now deformed. Hopefully I'll get the kinks worked soon.

Another week gone by? Time does fly..

This is getting so much easier and faster. We are saving money and eating better. Well, except the kids are starving b/c they have taste-buds fit for Buddy the Elf. I forgot Levi was traveling again last week so when he's gone the girls and I eat light. And by eat light I mean I don't cook. But I did make several new things that I'm excited to share with you. But first things first....

The Menu:

Slow Cooker Ribs, left over Red Hot & Blue potato salad, crock-pot baked beans
Brown Sugar Chicken, bacon wrapped asparagus, rice
World's Best Lasagna, garlic bread
Breaded Italian Chicken, butter beans, steamed broccoli

The Reviews from THIS post:
To Die For Blueberry Muffins: I make these on Sunday nights and we have them Monday mornings. Usually we eat all 12 of them. Notice the two on the left that don't have blueberries? Those are for Mia, b/c I love her and she does not love blueberries. The recipe calls for fresh. I use frozen. You'll also see the recipe calls for a crumb topping. I sprinkle regular granulated sugar over the muffins before I put them in the oven and our family prefers that. I love crumb topping but it isn't worth my time to take that extra step considering they have all voiced they like the plain sugar topping better.

Notice how and thick the dough is? And there is plenty to fill 12 regular muffin cups. It is delicious on it's own....

And the final product....

Enchilada Stack, chips and queso: This was sooo good and sooo easy. Seriously, you all need to try it. I cut the recipe in half b/c we have had so many left overs they are spoiling. The only thing I didn't love was the cumin. It was a bit much for me and I would either use less or none next time. I also added pinto beans to the layers b/c I had a stray can in the pantry and thought it would add some texture to the dish without using meat. Oh, yeah, it's meatless....SCORE. I was worried it would be soggy but it was not at all. I did tilt the lid so that the steam could escape b/c I can.not.eat soggy things. Gag.

I cooked it on high for about 2.5 hours. Remember, I cut it in half. I don't know that I would have used all the sauce it called for even if I had made extra layers. It seemed like a lot. You be the judge.

And the beauty of it all? The clean up was a snap. Two non-stick crockpots and done. I'm including this picture b/c usually my kitchen looks down right frightful after I'm done slinging food all over the place but not with crock-pot cooking!

Billie O'neal's Baked Sandwiches: This recipe is from a very good family friend of Levi's. Oh, my goodness it's so easy and so good. You have to trust me and make this. I mean, I realize not everyone will like what I like but THIS is a must-at-least TRY. I used left over burger buns instead of any sort of fancy roll. You don't have to use the poppyseeds and it was sort of random that I had some but I've made these in the past with no seeds and they were fine. I used extra thin sliced deli ham and American sliced cheese. The sauce sticks really well to the bread as you can see.....

And notice how brown and crisp and melty and yum they look now? The sauce soaks in and the bread gets soft and it is DEE-licious. Levi agrees. Loves them. Jules cried for 10 minutes at the thought of eating them and then finally gave in and ate it like there was no tomorrow. She loved them. Mia, well she kindly offered to eat a pear instead.

Red Hot and Blue potato salad/parmesan baked fries:
This potato salad is different but I love it. It is to be served warm. Levi could eat it for breakfast and may have this morning now that I think about it. It is pretty much an exact replica of the restaurant's. So, if you don't like the potato salad from Red Hot and Blue then you won't like this. It was very easy and simple. Love those kinds of recipes.

The parmesan baked fries were a bust. I cut the taters too thin and they were just a mess. Soggy. Yuck. Eww. Don't know if it's worth the trouble. Probably just buy some frozen ones next time.

And last for the cooking is Spinach Quiche, sour cream zucchini, and fruit. This fruit salad is called Last Chance Fruit Salad b/c I went through the fridge and got all the fruit that was on the verge of going bad, chopped it up, and called it a salad. The quiche was easy. I typically don't like quiche but I thought this was very good. Levi thought it was really good just not as quiche-y as they typically are. Not as egg-y, I think. It was fab. left over.

I loved the sour cream zucchini. I would nix the fresh chopped onion (it only called for 2 Tbl) and add less dried minced onion instead. Levi doesn't like dill so it was a no for him. I really loved it. Dill to me is so mild that it just adds to the flavor of things. I used to be afraid of dill b/c I thought it would make everything taste like a sour pickle. It doesn't, but it is hard to explain. Easy and different and yum.

And my favorite meal of the week was Fuzzy's Taco Shop! Why is it my favorite? Because I didn't have to cook or clean! We've decided that Tuesday's will occasionally have to be an out to eat night. We do the life shelter that night and if I am on my game I can organize us to where we can eat/clean before we go but if I feel that can't happen then it's Fuzzy's for us b/c it's just a block away from the life shelter. I love that they have Mexican cokes sitting on ice to greet you at the register.

On a side note...Jules hates Fuzzy's. We never tell her where we are going and when she figures it out she hits the roof. It's super funny. I have got her hooked on their Latin fried potatoes and borracho beans...both delicious.....so she's getting better about going.

Two Lost Treasures.

2010-09-16T22:47:00.009-05:00

I always have a lot to say. I can talk for miles about a pot roast. But these two leave my fingers frozen and my mind lost in time some where between 1982 and 2008.

The beautiful woman is my grandmother who I don't remember in the least. She was in her 50's in that picture and died shortly after it was taken. I think we've all been told we look like her but one can only wish upon a star that it's true. It's funny how any picture of her stops me dead in my tracks and before I know it I'm dreaming of what it might have been like to have her. To know her. To hear her voice. What she smelled like. How she laughed.

I envy those that did have that chance but they don't talk much. She was diagnosed with cancer and from what I understand died mere months later with the last month leaving her in a coma, although, I'm not clear on the details and I'm not sure I want to know. I was 4, Steph was 8, and I suppose that leaves my mom at 28 or 29 with no mother.

She left behind her high school sweetheart, my grandaddy. Her twin sister. A brother. Her mother and her father. My mom and her 3 brothers...the youngest in 7th grade (yes, he was a joyous surprise!).

And 5 grandchildren at the time. I love how happy we all look in this picture....

The baby of those 5 grandchildren was the *little guy in that picture up there with grandmother as we so formally called her. Steven Wilhelm Richie. We called him, a little less formally, T-Bone. And here's where I have a hard time. There is so much I should say and have wanted to say but none of it would be worthy of the testimony he left behind. If the bible were written today he would be one of the main characters that God used in a mighty way and your kids would sing songs about him. They'd know the story by heart and repeat it generation after generation.

And it was because he was a broken imperfect person who struggled in ways most of us will never be able to relate to, yet God chose to use him.

And then he was gone. Just like that.

He was in a car accident and died at 29 years old. He is on the right in the below picture with his brothers Michael and Danny. They were so close it's painful. No literally...they loved each other dearly but for some reason liked to beat each other to a pulp over the darndest things. Brothers through and through. They were like the 3 musketeers. Or Alvin and the chipmunks. I have always thought of Mike (on the left) as Alvin, Danny as Simon (he had glasses later on), and cute Steven as Theodore. Can you imagine no Theodore?

I'll never forget the proudest I've ever seen him and that's when he introduced me to his brand new sweet wife, Erin. He acted as though he were showing off a rare, delicate, priceless jewel. And he certainly was. We all love her.

The day before his accident Erin and Steven found out they were having a girl. Erin was 5 months pregnant. It wasn't until later I realized I missed his call to tell me about the news. I looked through my missed calls and there it was. That is still a difficult thing for me to swallow and I don't know that I've ever verbalized it. It's one of those things where you go...What was the point of that God? Couldn't you have just allowed me the last chance instead of almost? And what a fun conversation it would have been.

He died two years ago this past Monday and their little girl is now 1.5 years old and precious. And in true Steven fashion....a bit of a toot! Erin, you have your work cut out for you but...keep try.....ing, keep try.....ing, Don't give up! Don't give up! (sorry inside yo-gabba gabba joke). Erin also has twin daughters in Intermediate school. Whew!

He was hilarious and handsome. A bit of a wild-card. A prankster yet protective. A fighter in good ways and sometimes ways that got him in trouble. Caring, loyal, a gentleman. Truly one of a kind. Anyone who knew him has a gooood story to tell about him. The kind of stories that will live on forever and make you smile just thinking about them. The kind you repeat over and over and never get tired of.

And the most touching stories at his funeral were his friends, many seemingly unsavory characters, telling us of how he did everything he could to spread the love of Christ to them b/c he loved them so and held his friendships high. One person said he was saved from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. What a great impression to leave behind.

I think when any of us think of him we are in awe that he is spending time with Jesus in complete and utter peace. No worries, burdens, or pain. Talking with our grandmother getting to know her as he should have long ago.

It's comforting to know they are together as silly as that may sound. The last thing I heard our granddaddy say about him at the funeral was how he would miss that little feller.

When I think I can't go on or that I've failed one too many times, when life seems redundant and like it will never get better I think of Steven and the redemption in his life. That gives me hope and strength to pick myself up and try again.

Earlier I mentioned that my grandmother left behind 5 grandchildren at the time. Well, there was one she never had the chance to know. My cousin Larra. I always felt sad for her as there are no pictures of her with our grandmother. I know that must be hard for her especially since every person you talk to from our hometown raves about grandmother's beauty and character. Take a look at her husband, Tim! See any resemblance? At one point Levi and Tim had the same exact facial hair and our kids were constantly going to the wrong dad!

Photo by TstarPhoto's.

Larra told the funniest story about Steven and his good friend borrowing her car which they were supposed to return in a "few hours". The few hours turned into all night but they kindly returned the car the next day. Thankfully the car was in one piece (trust me...that was a miracle in and of itself) but when Larra took a little drive that afternoon a HUGE turtle crawled out from under the passenger side seat! Can you imagine! She made HIM come take it out!

Larra may not have pictures with our grandmother but she has a special connection with her that I think is beyond NEAT. Larra had TWINS! When we found out it was like it brought back a piece of our grandmother. Who knew that all along she was carrying this special part of her? Aren't they precious? She and Tim also have two sons as well so they have their hands full! Aren't the girls beautiful?

I guess this was a Flashback Friday for me this week. We all sure do miss those two treasures....

Jules' Very Bad Week.

2010-09-12T21:53:00.007-05:00

Sometimes the only thing to make it better are your two best friends. Blue and Purple. Or "Purpee" but I don't have the heart to tell her that nickname sounds like an infectious disease.

I think one of my biggest struggles in motherhood is the inability to be perfect. Predict the future. Read my kid's minds. Prevent all catastrophes.

I hate it when things go wrong that I could have prevented or didn't clue in on until after the fact. I really beat myself up over it and have a hard time letting it go.

No matter how small the issue, I just can't let it go. I get this sick feeling in my stomach and wish I could go back in time and do it right, wipe my slate clean.

Pretty unrealistic expectations of myself, I know.

Last week was not a good week for Jules in kindergarten. Most of you know what went down. On Tuesday Jules had a tee-tee accident. This has not happened in 3 years. She has been in school for 3 weeks and has been happy as a lark to go, as she was on Tuesday when she left me for school.

I left work to go pick them up and my phone always goes crazy when I get to the parking lot b/c we don't get service in our building. I get every text, missed call, and voice mail notification all at the same time. As soon as I read that the school had called my brain automatically shut down all sense of sanity. I called them back and I was transferred to the nurse. She knows how important it is for her first words to be "Mrs. Swinney, both of your girls are fine." And that's exactly what she said.

To make a long story short Jules didn't want to put her tennis shoes back on b/c the tee-tee went down her legs and into her shoes and so that would be gross to stick your feet back in soggy tee-tee shoes. Who can blame her? When they couldn't get me on my cell (said they lost my work number already due to a computer glitch..sigh) they called Levi who never even understood that she tee-teed on herself. So, he just told her to be a peach and put her shoes back on. Even if it were water.....I would have brought her new shoes. But that's me. The mom. And they lost MY number which means that my baby had to stick her feet in tee-tee shoes for the rest of the day b/c dad thought they were calling to shoot the breeze. What part of "Mr. Swinney, your daughter had an accident and had to change into her extra clothes and really would like some dry shoes." did he not understand? She didn't have a skate board accident. Or a forklift accident. She's 5. Accident means she peed her pants.

When we got home she wanted dry oatmeal. Weird, I know, but when you just peed your pants in front of all your friends you get to eat things like dry strawberries-n-cream oatmeal. Except that she dropped the entire bowl on her bare toes and I can hear-by attest to the fact that there is no such thing as an unbreakable dish. Well, they don't exactly break. They shatter into a million tiny pieces.

And this is where Jules fell apart. She had a good cry and said it was the worst-est day of her whole life. So we hugged for a long time and got a new plastic bowl of dry oatmeal. We had some time to talk about what went down that day.

Apparently she's afraid of the automatic flushing toilets that they have in all of the kinder rooms. Why? Why would they do that? Those things are horrid. I'm even afraid of them. So, she tried to hold it that day b/c she really really didn't want to go potty on that loud scary thing.

It gets worse.

The next day she woke up crying...not wanting to go to school. I thought it was obvious that she was embarrassed and bummed about the previous day so it was important that she get back in the saddle, you know. Thankfully the FLOOD waters that we had to wade through were a great distraction for her strong desire to NOT go to school. Except that when she started walking down the hallway she slipped and fell flat on her back. She was mortified.

And it gets even worse.

She is a panic stricken child. She has a phobia of getting trapped in a movie theater. FREAKS OUT when movies are over. Sometimes mild sometimes not so much. She won't use her toilet anymore b/c of the over-flow incident. I made her use it the other day for the mere fact that she is ridiculous and when she flushed it she ran out screaming with her fingers in her ears and I found her crouched in the corner of the hall asking if the coast was clear. She will not use it. Dramatic much? Point being, she freaked out at school b/c the kids doing the announcements gave the weather report. Flash flood warning. And to Jules that meant....she was going to drown.

The next morning she woke up REALLY not wanting to go to school. Like, refused to eat breakfast. Wailed those horrible gaspy tears and said her whole body hurt. Her legs. Her tummy. Even her 'froat'.

I asked her if she just was upset about the accident and the toilets...she assured me that was not it. She didn't feel well and needed to stay home. Or with grandma. Or with our neighbor...anywhere but school.

We get to the school and I am dragging her. She is hugging my legs. It was a sight. I took her to the nurse to have her froat checked and get her temp taken. All was good. But not her. Jules was a complete wreck. I left her with the hall ladies (and the vice-principle) as she was crying and screaming for me not to leave her.

My thinking was....If something goes wrong at school we can't just stop going all together. We have to get back up, dust our pants off, and GO.

Except that GO was exactly what she couldn't do. That afternoon the teacher told me Jules had to go to the nurse again b/c of her tummy and had complained about it off and on. And you would to if you hadn't pooped in 3 days. She was so constipated that she was miserable. I finally clued in when we got home as she refused her snack and kept going back and forth to the bathroom.

She has always had a constipation problem but in the past year it has been much better. It started when she was a little baby. I have meds in my cabinet for her that she use to have to take everyday but only occasionaly now. Diet was no help for her. Mix in a new schedule, scary toilets, and new environment and that equals...no pooping for Jules. This happened the first couple weeks of pre-K as well...it's been a year, though. I forgot. After the meds kicked in she went and never have you seen such a relieved little girl.

The next day she went to school...no problem.

Glad she's not constipated anymore...feeling very guilty for not figuring it out sooner and leaving her so uncomfortable all day without her mom. And not believing her. And a host of other things.

Just when I thought the difficult mornings were now gone b/c my girl was pooping again...

We visit Lexi and Chris on Sunday night. Dinner was great and we decided to take a walk. Jules wore these stupid wedge shoes that are hand me downs from Mia. She had a blister by the time we got to the park but all was good...she toughed it out barefoot.

But poor Mia slid down the slide FIRST THING and guess who slid into some left over rainwater at the bottom of the slide? She had on jean shorts and they, along with her underpants, were soaked on the back. Mia doesn't do well with discomfort. She has zero tolerance for discomfort and pain. Zero. I called Levi to come get her. He showed up. She started bawling b/c she really wanted to play at the park and decided (after he already drove to get her) that she would just deal with the wetness and play. Great. Super.

I'm telling you...I am a walking magnet for things to go wrong. It's just the way God made me.

Moving forward...

We load up to walk back. Jules still had a blister and can't wear the stupid idiotic wedge shoes that I am going to throw away. It was too hot and she is too heavy to carry that whole way. I made the decision to let her go barefoot b/c there were sidewalks the entire way home.

Guess who stepped on the one piece of glass on the whole 3/4 mile stretch of sidewalk? And who knew a foot could bleed so much? It was dripping everywhere. There is a blood trail now leading to the park. How disturbing? It was bleeding so bad we had no idea where the cut was or how bad..deep...nothing.

And for the first time in all of history Lexi had nothing! Not a napkin, wipe, or band-aid! This is important to note b/c Lexi is a walking magic closet of whatever you could possibly need. But the one time Jules is bleeding out down the whole neighborhood...all she had to offer was a piece of cardboard that Atlee had colored her a picture on! It didn't work so well but Atlee was fascinated with the blood on it. And Mia said.."Whoa...that is soooo much blood." And that is precisely when I knocked her upside the head.

Not really.

And Lexi, I forgive you this time considering you've gotten me out of all sorts of pinches for the past 7 years with your magic bottomless purse.

We got Jules all Dr. up and as you may have guessed....she didn't want to go to school this morning b/c her foot hurt.

Can I please catch a break? God knows Jules can't handle things like blood and boo-boos and thinks that she is going to die like every day b/c of one reason or another. My anxiety level is almost at it's peak with her and it is hasn't even been a month. She has thrown up, peed her pants, been constipated, developed a potty phobia, slipped and fell, had a near death encounter with a flash flood announcement, cut her foot......

And here is the most hysterical part of the whole thing! When I picked up Jules her teacher called me over to her and said she needed to talk to me. I thought Jules may have had a problem with her foot or something and then she said the most ridiculous thing ever.

She asked me if I, Connie Swinney, wanted to be the room mom for the entire kindergarten. All 4 classes.

This is not a joke...I looked over my shoulder and asked her if she was talking to me.

Because certainly, she was mistaken. Certainly she knows. Does she not know? I contemplated giving beer cans to Mia's Baptist kindergarten to re-cycle.

And they want ME to be the responsible room mom for the whole entire kindergarten?

Well, I'd be honored!

Oh, the tangled web we weave when once we practice to deceive!

This is going to get good, real good.....

Monday's Menu and Reviews:

2010-09-12T11:11:00.006-05:00

With the holiday and my mom coming into town we didn't use all of our meals again so I had to bump some to this week. And it is just inevitable that some things get mixed around and swapped up. So, my lists from now on shall be deemed tentative.

I've decided this will be a regular Monday post for me. I actually make the list on the weekend so that we can get the groceries for it before the week starts. This is good accountability for me even if it is to cyber world. It also forces me to document what we liked and didn't like and my allrecipes.com recipe box is getting streamlined which I love. My next mission to accomplish is to figure out how to make my printer print on 4X6 cards and I'm going to print my recipes out so I can pick back up on THIS system I used for a while last year. The main problem with that was I didn't have all of my recipes on cards and I wasn't using allrecipes.com to the fullest. I will probably hand write my original recipes or family ones b/c I love hand-written things. But I will def. just be printing the ones I get from the web.

Menu:

Enchilada Stack, chips and queso
Billie O'neal's Baked Sandwiches, edamame, Red Hot and Blue potato salad/parmesan baked fries for the girls (I swear I will not bump it again)
Spinach Quiche, sour cream zucchini, fruit
Brown Sugar Chicken, bacon wrapped asparagus, rice
Breaded Italian Chicken, butter beans, steamed broccoli

Reviews from THIS post:

The Brown Sugar Chicken was nothing short of disastrous. I did cut the recipe in half and used fairly thin chicken breast tenders so maybe that would be the reason it shriveled up and died a black gewy death in my crockpot. It was not edible. We ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches instead but in my head I ate at Fuzzy's. I e-mailed my sister's friend that is now my friend by default (love those kinds of friends) who swears by it and gave me some tips. So, I bought some more chicken and I'm giving it another go. Thanks Michawn!

CrockPot Pasta Fagioli. *Sigh* Target's new up & up brand of canned goods are NOT marked well. I have mistakenly bought no-salt added green beans before GAG, and now southwest style diced tomatoes for my Italian soup. Do you see where this is going? Mix the southwest style diced tomatoes and the 1 tablespoon of Tabasco sauce the recipe calls for (sauce that we aren't really great fans of but wanted to give the recipe a whole hearted try despite that) and you get a jacked up knock off soup.

I will make this again when it is about 20 degrees cooler and when I can pay attention to the labels and get the right tomatoes. I will with great confidence ABORT the Tabasco all together. Some tips....don't chop the carrots, buy the bag of skinny baby ones and dump them in. Use dried minced onions instead of fresh chopped (my girls hate onions). Don't add ground beef...add another can of red beans instead and make it vegetarian if your short on cash and time which I always *always* am. And nix the celery all together, but that's just me. I find celery sort of a non-food and pointless and just added a dash of celery salt instead and Levi double hates celery and since he eats just about everything I cook I will cater to his celery hating self.

It is thick like chili and I found that saltines were much much better in this hearty soup than the traditional OG breadstix.

Sort of boring this week. This coming week should be back to normal so I hope we get to try everything. And what's up with all the failed meals? That is just really frustrating. And wasteful. And did I mention, FRUSTRATING? And the soup was for my mom who kindly said it was good and asked for the recipe even though I know it was a strange Southwest-Italian concoction with a weird Tabasco kick.

Since there are no food pictures this week I'll give you a peek into the new color of my kitchen:

And now I LOVE it. Goodbye highlighter lightening-bug-booty-goo green! Hello, Granny Smith Apple-ISH green! It's called asparagus but I have asparagus in my fridge right now and it is not this color. It's hard to tell the difference on the computer screen but it is much much darker than the previous color.

Let the Halloween Decorating Commense. Just a Little.

2010-09-06T08:55:00.012-05:00

If you have kept up with me for a while you know I LUV Halloween and all things creepy.

I normally don't begin to decorate until the beginning of October. However, I am on a hunt for some antique/Anthropologie-ish items for the big weird open spaces above my kitchen cabinets. I am dead set on going to the Buchanan Flea Market which is in the Dallas area once a month (b/c Connie might have Anthropologie taste but she has a flea market budget). I can't make it this weekend so I figured I'd go ahead and get my Halloween garb up there (since it's free and in my closet) especially since the girls were not here yesterday and I was able to concentrate.

Oh, what a beautiful thing that I never get to do. Concentrate.

I'd like to make a note that the kitchen will soon be less lively of a green. However, the lime green works great for Halloween decorations.

Just pretend those ugly wires aren't there. I will be painting them soon. I once shoved them in a hole in the ceiling and then Levi got electrocuted when he turned the garbage disposal on. Oops.

So far, my only Anthro. decor aside from a picture frame from Lexi for my B-day are these plates. I plan on doing some retro pitchers in one of the Halloween spaces and I don't know about the other two.

I did get somewhat distracted around 11:30pm last night. I took a stroll outside to relax, then I looked up at the dark sky and suddenly a wart on the end of my nose blocked my view of the moon. I reached up to touch it and was frightened by the wrinkled green state of my long bony fingers! I think I turned into a witch....I suddenly had..HAD...to make these Harry Potter Inspired Potions and bottles:

I got the glass cork bottles for a whopping 75 cents at Michael's. I did have a coupon but the normal price is 99 cents. A steal regardless. I was inspired by some decorative potion bottles I saw there last year but I had already spent my Halloween money and had to pass. I like mine better anyway. Here they are without the antique editing effect:

I cut up pieces of a paper bag a little larger than I needed for each bottle and took a lighter to the edges. I let them burn out into interesting shapes and then I used a Sharpie to write the names of the potions (yes, actual potions from Harry Potter and I'm not ashamed). Mod Podge is my soul-mate so of course I applied the labels with that. I used food coloring to dye the water.

You can go the ingredient route and put ashes, glitter (pixie dust), fur, oil & water, just about anything you want. But I liked the potions better.

This is what it looks like all together. When October rolls around we will break out the spider webs, spiders, skeletons, and ghosts for the rest of the house.

When the girls walked in and saw everything they gasped. They told me they just love to look at it. Kinda sad. I suppose it's what I should expect considering it is the ONLY area in the house that looks homey aside from their room. If money only grew on trees...

I would love LOVE for Mia to be Alice in Wonderland for Halloween. But that's not her style and I have to respect that b/c I do take responsibility for her dark side. Remember how last year I wanted her to be Dorothy OR Glenda the good witch? Nope. Had to be the Wicked Witch of the West. She decided a long time ago that she was going to be a zombie with blood on her face this year. Emphasis on blood on her face. That's easier than Alice anyway. I got her some "creepy cloth" from Michael's in shades of grey and white to drape over her clothes. With some blackened eyes, pale skin, and some icky blood she will be the most adorable zombie ever.

Jules wants to be a kitten and I think that is a superb idea. Because look how CUTE she is with her face painted as a kitten this summer:

While I was out yesterday I got her a black cat set that included a headband with cat ears, a pin on tail, and a bow for $7.50 (reg $9 but on sale). Target has them for $5 but I liked the Jo-Anne's one better. She has a black leotard and tights so she is set.

And they are not allowed to change their minds or they will get to go as themselves for Halloween. Momma's done.

And if you have some extra time and have been a somewhat faithful follower you just have to read THIS post from Halloween 2007. Nothing has changed...at all.....

Monday's Menu and Reviews: (a little early)

2010-09-04T08:37:00.019-05:00

I promise this isn't going to turn into a food blog.

I sort of got swept up in the crock pot lady blog, A Year of Slow Cooking. In all honesty, Levi and I are not meat-cooked-in-crock-pots kinda people. Everything turns out pulled or with the texture of boiled meat. Gag me with a spoon. But, Onward Ho!

-CrockPot Brown Sugar Chicken, rice, peas *Let me make it known that I think this will be a flop..my heart and tongue and stomach are begging me not to make this but with her description...I just have to try it.

-CrockPot Pasta Fagioli, (olive garden copy cat) breadstix that I forgot to cook with the chicken spaghetti last week
-Slow Cooker Cheese Enchilada Stack, with slow cooker chips and queso (I got a teeny tiny adorable crockpot for Christmas and I need to break it in with some queso!)
-Breaded Baked Italian Chicken, butter beans, Bacon Wrapped Asparagus,

Just for fun:
Cupcake Surprises (Cookie dough inside!) And let me make a note that I will NOT be making the cookie dough to then freeze b/c NEWSFLASH you can buy that. Can't wait.

Reviews: I'm not going to link back to the original recipes but you can get the links by clicking HERE and view the original post.

I would like to ask why someone didn't SLAP me when I posted that I would be making that hashbrown casserole. Apparently I wasn't paying attention enough to notice that it calls for cream of potato soup. Now that stuff is gross. The potatoes were grey. That can't be right. I had to use TWO huge bowls to mix it up in but it all fit into one casserole dish..that was strange. It cooked beautifully. It looked delicious. But anything that has cream of potato and chopped ham should kinda jump out at ya. You know? It was very salty. I took it to a family dinner as a side and nobody complained. It wasn't that it was so gross. It was just o.k. and weird. I just got to thinking about the ingredients after the fact and I was like...eww, no. I will be using a copy cat Cracker Barrel recipe for their hashbrown casserole the next time I get the hankering for that kind of thing. It's borderline depression era food. You know, when they dump a bunch of whatever is left in the kitchen in a dish and call it dinner.

Cordon Bleu:

Here's the deal on this one. The recipe was fine. It cooked up just like it was supposed to. We have just decided we don't like Cordon Bleu. And we don't like ham in things. Not chopped or sliced or diced. Now, we do love prosciutto but I was fresh out and it is pricey. It was fun beating up the chicken, though. If you have a history of loving cordon bleu...give this a try. It looks pretty fancy.

The were peeling garlic and were intrigued and grossed out simultaneously. Please notice Jules' first successful ponytail. Her hair is extremely fine and grows at a snails pace so this was exciting that it lasted all day. Barely.

Chicken Spaghetti:

The girls and I gave this two thumbs down. It wasn't creamy enough for me. I either put too much pasta in it, used the wrong kind (rotini instead of spaghetti), or the pasta was old. I didn't like it one bit. It kind of tasted like someone poured queso over noodles. Now I do realize there is velveeta in the dish but I've had it before and it was delicious and creamy and did not remind me of queso. So what gives? Levi, of course, ate it like a champ. I love my human garbage disposal.

Perhaps my judgment was askew but they each got to slice half a loaf of french bread. I think I said "watch your thumbs! watch your fingers!" about 50 thousand times. And I'm pretty sure they were beyond annoyed with me but you know my history with slicing things in the *kitchen....

Pork Roast, potatoes, carrots:

One of my very favorite things to make. An entire meal in one crock pot. This is one exception where we LOVE the meat cooked in the crockpot and you can use pork or beef, although, I can only speak for the pork in the CP.

I don't know if there is an easier, quicker, more rewarding dish than this. I season only with coarse salt, pepper, and Lowry's seasoned salt. This is the way my sister-in-law's mother-in-law makes it (did you follow?) and I love the simplicity of the seasonings so that the pork can speak for itself. Not to mention you can pull it apart and have pulled pork sandwiches which are awesome.

Put your roast (I used a shoulder roast but prefer not to refer to the actual body part so as to detach myself from the fact that it was, like, Wilbur) in the crock-pot and add the veggies all around and add 1.5-2 cups of water or so. This is where I'm no good and why I could never make a cook book. You don't want too much water or too little and keep in mind the roast will make it's own juices but it takes a while for them to release. Capish? Maybe to the point where the veggies are almost covered but not. If you have a good rule of thumb please feel free to advise.

I recommend cooking on low for longer...depends on the poundage of the roast. Just google that if you need an exact. I wing it. I cooked my 3ish pound roast for 8ish hours on low.

If you have any resistance whatsoever when trying to shred the roast, cut the roast, pull the roast apart...it is not ready. It might look ready. It might smell ready. You might be very tempted to turn your crockpot off but DON'T. It is ready when you can literally grab the bone and take it out without having to tug meat off of it. If you have a boneless roast then take two forks and begin to shred...if it's hard to do....not done. See how the bone is practically naked......

I swear the meat wasn't yellow. Swear. The bone is the top left thing. Meat totally fell right off it.

O.k., I guess the secrets out. I have zero ability to photograph food and that up there looks pretty gross (perhaps it was the presentation?...just slopped some on the plate?) but I assure you it was heavenly.

I'll let you know how the Red Hot and Blue potato salad and fries go next week. We are having that tonight.

*And if you don't know my history with slicing things in the kitchen then by all means...be informed.

And for the record I MADE it through that dreaded week in August where I do something stupid and have to get stitches. Deep Breathe OUT.

Silence is Golden.

2010-09-01T21:45:00.008-05:00

I'm going to attempt to write this post. Levi is watching the Fort Worth Piano competition or something and it's about to make me snap.

Now, if the office were finished I could be in there and not so distracted by that noise.

And if the girls hadn't chased Penny around trying to capture her with a laundry basket screaming bloody murder while I attempted to have a conversation with my dad on the phone behind locked doors in my bedroom...

....in the closet, then I might think that noise was beautiful.

But the only way one could think that noise was beautiful would be to gouge their eyes out b/c the faces they make, the way they convulse about, the way they practically make out with the piano is just too much. I can't help but mock them and their genius talent.

I swear I thought rigor mortus was setting in on one guy as he played his little heart out.

In fact, I'm so grumpy right now that if I were face to face with one of those gifted and talented freaks I would say WOW you are so talented. Too bad you look like a giant dork while you are showing it off. One of them started crying while he was making his big finish. Um. Okay.

I know. I'll repent in the morning. Mozart probably cried too.

That intro might make the transition to the point of this post difficult but I'm gonna leave it as it sets the tone of my evening. And is the very reason I aborted the lovely and far superior iMac and started up the ancient laptop so that I could post in the God bless-ed silence of my bedroom.

I wanted to share a little about how the life shelter has affected us and given us a unique opportunity to share with the girls how our confidence in ourselves should come from God. When we first started going I don't know if I had any expectations at all. I knew it didn't feel right to tell the girls to love and help those in need when we weren't showing what that looks like. It's funny how words can be so impactful in some circumstances and yet be so ineffective in others.

As with most things in our lives I feel like we sort of just jumped in and hoped to goodness it would all fall together...somehow...someway. And it did. The Lord is faithful to fill in the gaps and holes when we can't or don't know how.

As you read before there was a little girl there I call M who seemed to have it out for Mia from the beginning when she accidentally hurt her. That night it was apparent that M had some anger issues. She got worse and worse as the weeks passed by. I chose to not say anything to her mother b/c I really didn't know if that would be in M's best interest as her mother barely aknowledged her existence.

And by that I mean she would pick up the baby brother with a smile on her face and totally leave without M. Who does that? It was truly heartbreaking. She did it every time. Once I had to tell the volunteer coordinator that she had been left behind as the mother was no where to be seen after she picked up the brother.

I was torn. M's fits got violent leading to her knocking down the trashcan and a dollhouse. She would cower down in the corner and growl, moan, and thrash. She was turning on all of us and accusing us of things that weren't true. Obviously, that was it for me. I scheduled a meeting with the volunteer coordinator and she encouraged me to talk with M's mom. She felt that it would be effective and that M would most def. benefit from knowing that we were not going to put up with her behavior. She knew exactly what she was doing...so very manipulative at such a young age. I know it might be difficult to see this as manipulative behavior given her bad circumstances in life but kids are smarter than you think and they learn quickly how to get attention...good or bad. This needs to be corrected in order for them to grow into psychologically healthy individuals. Sure is tough to not give into them, though.

For example, M wanted to play with a floor puzzle. Of course, that was fine with me if they all worked together to clean up. It was a floor puzzle, afterall, and the floor needed to be cleaned. And have I mentioned the room is tiny? So, floor space was already limited. She absolutely refused. But, my girls began picking up. I told M she better find something to pick up so that she could join them when they played with the puzzle. She began her moaning and growling and hooting and hollering.

I stood firm. It was very simple. You clean...you play. You don't clean...you don't play.

Guess who didn't get to play with the floor puzzle? I got it down and my girls began to play hopscotch with it. They were so upset that M could not participate and even whispered in my ear to please let her play. I said no.

Then M began to wail. This is where the disipline gets complicated and foggy. M is living in a homeless shelter and has been for weeks. Her life as been turned upside down, shaken, and then dumped out. Her mom is a big ball of anger and stress. This is where my heart begins to wain and I want to cave. I'm a caver. So, naturally I whispered to Levi, the non-caver...what do we do?

He had a very wise suggestion to let our girls play with the puzzle for 10 minutes then we would put it up and resume playing with the other toys. This would give M time to calm down and for us to love on her like we knew we needed to with the hopes that she would begin to learn how to respect our rules.

As uncomfortable as this was for me to even think about I knew it was only fair to M's mom to tell her what went on and has been going on. Despite how difficult her life circumstances were, despite the tremendous amount of stress I knew she was under, and despite the fact that M was clearly her most challenging child, I knew for the sake of our family and M I had to talk to her. Surprisingly it went very well. I assured her M is bright and can be fun when she is not seething in anger.

I was afraid she might hit me. I was afraid she might hit M. Thankfully, as we were leaving I heard her (through their curtian of a door) talking with M and she did an amazing job. I was relieved. Lo and behold the next few times after that M was perfect! I specifically gave her another chance to clean up so that they could play with the floor puzzle and she didn't even blink an eye...picked up like a pro.

Mia and Jules both picked up on the mom's anger and how she left M behind. This was a good observation for Mia b/c she was taking M's behavior very personally. If you've been reading you know Mia's confidence is on shaky ground and it makes my stomach cinch up in knots to think about. We talked about reasons why M behaved the way she did and how it would feel if I greeted only one of them with a smile and ignored the other. How M's primary example of how to behave is her angry mother. We talked about why her mother was angry and how life is so difficult and how her mother is trying very hard. And finally, most importantly, we talked about how our confidence should come from the Lord.

Not from people liking us, although that makes us feel better temporarily. We talked about why we were at the life shelter and that is to serve those people b/c the word of God tells us to. How we are to be an example, a reflection, of Christ to those kids and mothers. We are not there to be popular. The girls are now beginning to understand that people behave they way they do for many reasons and it's almost NEVER b/c of anything you've done. Therefore, taking it personally and wallowing in self-pity will not do anybody any favors.

Our confidence should always come from the Lord not from people, our looks, or our personalities.

I had no idea Mia would have this confidence issue this summer. I could never have fathomed that the life shelter could bring up so many complex relational issues. This is good. I am thanking God for filling in the gaps for me. He is faithful even when I'm a big ball of chicken-with-my-head-cut-off crazy trying to figure it all out and do it alone.

I am thankful to have had some sort of resolution with M as they are no longer at the shelter. We will be praying for them as they try to get back up on their feet again. Can you imagine?

I'm learning that I can't wait around for life to fall into perfect order for me to implement my agenda. Sometimes jumping in feet first is the best way to give God a chance to be faithful and see me through, hold me up, and fill in the gaps even when I might feel completely inadequate.

Because we are all inadequate. And that's why our confidence should never be in ourselves alone but in the Lord.

And now to see if that racket some call classical piano is over. *Crossing my fingers.*

Monday's Menu and Reviews:

2010-08-28T22:04:00.009-05:00

I'm writing this as of Saturday night. I have successfully made next week's menu and grocery list and luckily I had two meals I didn't get around to making for one reason or another and a roast in the freezer so our list is light. This is good for the financials.

Menu: I sized down the menu b/c we've been having lots of leftovers so I think planning for 4 meals will work better and lower the risk of moldy mystery food hiding out in the back of the fridge which will inevitably lead to a stand off between Levi and I where the food always wins and remains until my mom comes to town.

Chicken Cordon Bleu, corn on the cob, steamed broccoli
Chicken Spaghetti, breadstix
Pork Roast, carrots, and potatoes in the crock pot
Pulled pork Bar-b-q sandwiches (from the roast), Red, Hot, & Blue copycat potato salad, parmesan basil baked fries for the girls, fresh fruit

Last week was the first week of school and let's just say it was a rough one. I began my M-Th work schedule. The girls were beat. We were beat. I don't think we ate dinner before dark ever which means the girls got to bed way too late and Levi and I were too tired to bother doing dishes....total snowball effect. Jules threw up the second day of school right before she was about to walk out the door. All over herself, the couch, and the carpet. Oy vey. I'm not even sure how many/if any baths the girls got. And the condition of the house is quite critical. It's hemorrhaging. At one point I wanted to runaway from home and not b/c I don't love my family. Because I just wish I could be better at this whole mother/wife/running the household thing.

But, alas, I'm still here. No bags were packed. No hotels were booked. A few evenings out on the back porch to quiet my mind and beg God to send me my very own Nanny McPhee/Nanny Joe combo seemed to help some.

I have to add a side-note here. I absolutely loved Nanny McPhee Returns. We all did. My favorite thing about it was that Maggie G. hit the conflicting nature of motherhood right on the head. And she did it with charm. How you can feel like your world is crashing down around you with the urge to run away from it all so strong yet not stronger than the inexplicable overwhelming love you have for your kids, your family, your life. The love that pulls you back like a magnet and won't let you go.

When the family no longer needs Nanny McPhee yet wants her to stay is when it is her time to go. That's the rules. And oh, I think I cried real sappy tears when Maggie was running like the wind down the lane chasing after Nanny screaming.."wait! WAIT! I need you! You don't even know how much I NEED YOU...please don't go!" It's such a funny sad thing how I related to that desperate cry for help.

So far, despite my obvious need for one, there has been neither a Nanny Joe or Nanny McPhee come to my rescue. But, I have Levi and he's been pretty darn helpful lately. We've come to the conclusion that we need a prep. evening to prepare for the following week...either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday evening. This weekend it was Saturday. So far, I've made the chicken spaghetti, prepared the hashbrown casserole (only needs to be baked now), and prepped the cordon bleu. It didn't take long and I think the time savings will be huge during the week. Dinner by dusk? That would be nice. And to help our mornings go smoothly Levi is ironing all of our clothes right now. He's watching LA Inc to keep his sanity and man-card in check.

What's gonna work? TEAM WORK? Sorry, didn't mean to get that song stuck in your head.

Just when Levi was looking like Superman to me....ironing, stopping to massage my neck b/c it's hurting like nobody's business.....he says "I want to get an elliptical machine for the living room."

And then, poof, he's back to the old him and I wanted to choke him.

And now on to the reviews!

Monkey Bread: This was by far the kid's favorite thing I've made in like their whole lives. Wonder if the mounds of sugar, butter, and cinnamon had anything to do with it? I have to agree....it was gooood. The kids can help with this by cutting the biscuits and shaking in the sugar cinnamon mixture. This can be made ahead of time so that you just have to make the sauce and bake the next morning. The only problem I had was the top getting too brown which didn't matter so much b/c it would, in the end, be the bottom. I used a sheet of foil to cover it the last 10 minutes or so. Be sure to take a fork and separate the dough to make sure it's done in the middle before you take it out.

I had no problems with this and thought it was very fun to make. Mia said "My stomach hurts but I can't stop eating it!" Jules said "I will remember this monkey bread for my whole life...."

This is what it should like before you cook it. Check out that beautiful bundt cake pan Levi hand picked for me (It was on the grocery list..did I mention he has been doing the grocery shopping? Gotta brag when bragging is due.). I love that pan.

When it comes out of the oven it is less than impressive.

But, boy-oh-boy, look at it now! I turned it over and it came out beautifully...really.

Roast Sticky Chicken:

Oh, heaven's to Betsy. This is amazing and easy. It calls for 2 birds. I use one b/c we always have a TON left over. However, this would be fantastic for company so 2 would come in handy in that instance.

My only ONLY suggestion/alteration is to use the rub recipe for each bird. Meaning, if you do two birds...double the rub..if you use one....leave it as is. Oh, and I don't have white pepper and can't find it at Target so oh, well. But, please, other than the white pepper you should follow the recipe exactly. You won't regret it.

You literally take a naked bird:

Make the rub (all of 5 minutes) and rub down the bird...no oil necessary. This is a dry rub. I wanted you to see my $9 roasting pan from Wal-mart. Go get one if you are broke and don't have one. It's awesome. I can easily fit two birds in it if I want to and not to mention it makes you look like a serious cook.

Stick it in the oven at 250 for 5 hours.

And then, voila! Perfection in a roasting pan. You don't even have to baste it until after it's out. In fact, I basted it quite a bit last time and it browned way too much. So, don't bother until the end. And FYI, I don't get ANY juice in the bottom of the pan until the last hour so never fear...be patient.

Now you will notice there are no onions in the before pics and suddenly they appear in the after. That's b/c you are suppose to stuff them in the bird and I always forget and really prefer to stay far far away from the inside of the bird. And I do NOT rub the rub inside the bird, I sprinkle it, b/c my hand ain't going in there.

Levi de-bones the whole bird after it cools b/c I often use the leftovers for another dish and that way it's done. In this case I used the left overs for the chicken spaghetti.

Stuffed Green Peppers:

These were very good but no-one ate the peppers and those things are expensive. Levi likes the flavor they give the filling but hates green peppers. Go figure. The filling was SO STINKING EASY. I think I will try to stuff some wonton wrappers with it in honor of my fellow blogger and friend Catherine who's been stuffing those things with all sorts of yum. I may buy ONE pepper and cut it up in big chunks to cook with the stuffing then remove it all so no one gags.

Oh, and I didn't pour the tomato sauce on the top. Talk about yuck. We topped them with colby jack cheese instead. I loved them. I'll let you know if I do the wrappers. And the good thing about this is you can add anything you want to it. Sausage? Fresh basil? Black olives? Mushrooms? Endless possibilities.

Spinach Basil Pesto:

I'm gonna have to get back to you on this one. Something went wrong but I don't know what. I've made this before and we loved it. I think the garlic was too green. The dish ended up being hot in a weird weird way. I should have stuck with the jar-o-minced-garlic b/c that is always perfect. And the pasta stuck together in a clumpy gross mess. I have written off fettuccine and will forever be devoted to linguine instead. Levi still ate it that night and for left-overs. God bless him. But, I have to say this was a real flop.

Trouble in Camelot.

2010-08-27T12:27:00.007-05:00

This post should be all about our first week of school. It should be full of cute pictures of my sweet girls. I should tell you all the funny things they've said about their teachers and classmates.

But, have I got a story that trumps all of that!

Don't let that peaceful picture up there fool you. That's our neighborhood. It's beautiful, yes. But not absent of crazy.

Please travel back in time with me to Monday, approximately 4:00pm. Our tummies were full of ice-cream and the girls were chatting 90 to nothing about their first days of school. About the time I should have pulled into the drive way the girls fell silent.

Their eyes were drawn toward one of our neighbors (lives in the neighborhood not next to us) who walks religiously. Come rain-snow-sleet-shine....he walks. And if the weather permits...

...he walks half naked.

Yes, audience, we have another shirtless fat man lurking around in the neighborhood except this one doesn't have a scooter.

He has a big huge hand-carved walking stick in which he twirls, flips, throws, and dances with from time to time. He has long hair and is quite the quirky one. When we first saw him I gasped to myself and the girls both exclaimed..."Oh, that is so gross." I had to agree with them although I eventually coerced them into waving and saying hi in hopes that would distract from their open mouthed stares. I heard through the neighborhood grapevine that he was a doctor.

However, my source on that tid-bit is questionable seeing as how she is nuts. I would go into further detail but this post will be long enough without details on the lady with the magical shrinking leg.

After a brief moment of silence the girls began to FREAK out. They began shrieking...he's bleeding all over! he's bleeding! OMGsh, mom! help him!

At this point I had pulled into the driveway so I looked through the rear-view mirror and soon realized the man was not just bleeding...he was dripping with blood all over his face and chest. He was looking around as if disoriented but still walking. It was like an optical illusion at first. I was so confused. Does he think it's Halloween? If he is truly hurt why wasn't he seeking help? Why wasn't he on his way home to call for help?

Why, oh WHY, does it have to be ME to deal with this today?"

I am most certainly a magnet for crazy.

I really wanted to pretend I didn't see the crazy-dancing-stick-twirling-naked man in need of my help. I should also mention it was 107 degrees outside. He not only was bleeding but COVERED in nasty sweat.

So the girls continued to freak out and wonder why I wasn't jumping at this mans rescue. I was observing. I sent them to the front door and hollered out "Do you need help?"

He looked at me and said "huh?".......and so I proceeded to talk real slow to him and use hand gestures as if I was talking to a deaf person.

"YOUR BLEEEEEDING. Do----you----need----help?"

He said he had been attacked by a man in a truck and that he needed me to call the police. Again, why didn't he go home and call? Why bring me into it? Why are you walking around the neighborhood bleeding when you could go home and not be walking around the neighborhood bleeding? He began to pace about. I began to contemplate holding my cell phone up to my ear and making a run for it inside so as to not be involved at all. But that would be mean.

I got a better look at him and he was messed up. His left eye was completely swollen shut.

So, I called 911. I said there was a man standing in the road bleeding badly claiming to have been attacked. They asked me to ask him if he knew who attacked him.

O.k., sure I'll be the middle man. Love to. It's not like it's 107 degrees outside or anything.

I asked him and he pointed his arm and said "That man right over there! He did it!". I followed his arm with my eyes and soon realized I had just called the police on my next door neighbor whom we have a very good friendly relationship with. "HE accused me of staring at him and attacked me!"

I don't get involved in other peoples skirmishes. I just don't. It would have been totally different if he would have been attacked by a random person. I, obviously, don't want that sort of thing in my neighborhood. BUT, this means that they had a disagreement that I was not present for and therefore have no interest in being involved. So, I kindly told the police I had nothing else to say and that the call was just as a courtesy to the bleeding naked stick walker. They asked me for his name and the man spelled his last name and said...they know me. Great. So you have a history with the police. This is getting better by the scorching hot minute.

He thanked me and apologized that the girls had to be exposed to such violence.

I thought..who are you kidding? They are loving this freak show so much. This is like the icing on the first day of school cake.

We all go inside and I was so hot I had to change and cool down. I really wasn't thinking much more about the man. For all I knew, he clocked himself in the face with his twirly stick for attention. I just couldn't imagine that my next door neighbor who is in his mid-50's would engage in such activity. None of it made sense. I began to check my e-mail and go on about my afternoon.

Then I realize the girls were very quiet and nowhere in my line of sight. Naturally that needed to be investigated and I found them peeping through the blinds in the office watching the show. 3 cop cars and one ambulance were right outside our door. Mia said that Neighbor at large got arrested.
And if you fell for that then you don't know Mia.

I asked her if she saw them put handcuffs on him? No.

Did you see them put him in the back of the police car? Well, no.

Did you even SEE him at all? Yes, he was talking to the policeman.

That is not he same as being arrested. Well, he might get arrested...

True, but might and did are not the same.

And then I told her to go get me the binoculars and to scoot over and make room. We all sat there trying to be discreet, waiting for the next exciting thing to happen. Except I couldn't see very good and so I decided to go to the girls' room and look through their window.

I'm pretty sure that falling into their window after tripping over a Barbie car is not the way to be discreet. Especially when you realize the cop and Neighbor at large were standing right outside of it making the police report. I decided to think that they would assume the children were being rowdy and took my stake out position on the floor by the other window.

Ah, much better. Plain shot of everything.

After a while everyone got in their cars and just sat there. The bleeding guy began to take tiny baby steps towards his house. He swayed to and fro...took one more step...then down he went! He had to be taken away on a stretcher to the hospital.

Naturally, I needed to find out the rest of the story. So many questions. I walked right over to my Neighbor at large and knocked on the door but no answer. O.k., maybe he DID get arrested.

Or he is seething inside waiting for his next victim. ME.

I walked to another neighbor who was sure to have some sort of scoop on these two people and she did. Neighbor at large seems to be very quiet but very suspicious. Always has been according to her and her husband thought he was one to be wary of. Levi thought the same thing...bad vibes just radiate from that man. Bleeding naked guy was a Dr. until last year. De-barred or whatever they do to Dr's. He became addicted to pain meds and prescribe them unlawfully to himself. Not only that but he is currently under psychological evaluation.

This would explain his cotton-eyed-joe down the street.

Hmm, that is very interesting. My neighbor giving me the scoop said she had a police friend she would ask and find out just exactly who we should be afraid of. Quiet-might-explode-at-any-moment suspicious neighbor OR crazy naked guy who talks to himself and jitterbugs around the neighborhood? This really could go either way.

Well, I'm not one for patience so the next day I watched for Neighbor at large to arrive home. He always gets his mail right after he gets out of his truck. I walked out and went straight to him. I took the innocent...oh, I'm so sorry I called the police! I had no idea it was YOU who he was accusing, approach. That was not a lie. But I really just wanted to know what happened b/c I'm a curious one, that's all.

He goes on to further explain that Dr. Crazy got his feathers ruffled b/c Neighbor at Large drove to close to him as he was walking. Neighbor at large was certain he did not and proceeded to argue with Dr. Crazy. Knowing.....he was crazy. This argument turned nasty. Real nasty.

Neighbor at Large called Dr. Crazy an F'n lunatic, which perhaps is true but still you'd think the whole if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all lesson would have at least by now been learned by these mid-50's adolescents. But no.

Dr. Crazy might be crazy but he certainly doesn't want to be called out on it so naturally he took the mature approach and spat in Neighbor at large's face.

Well, one fist lead to another and ding ding ding....Dr. Crazy is down for the count and bleeding to boot. Neighbor at large supposedly felt terrible (not buying it) and offered Dr. Crazy a towel and an apology but he turned it down and took to wandering the streets in his nasty condition.

And that is the very moment I drove up. Lucky me.

Neighbor at large was very surprised he didn't get arrested b/c this isn't his first attack. He also took down our other neighbor's son who was supposedly roughing up his girlfriend.

He quickly assured me he was not violent.

Uh-huh. I quickly told him I come from a long line of fighters in my family and I'm not stupid. You can be nice and violent, all of the men on one certain side of my family are. And one cousin might or might not have bitten a students fingertip off when we were in high-school. But that's neither here nor there.

Right about that time the girls appear on our sidewalk. I told him I had to go and we left on a good note, I think. Mia was looking odd with her hands behind her back glaring her most evil glare but she made a run for it when I began to walk towards her.

Once we got inside Jules told me Mia had two big huge knives behind her back just in case Neighbor at Large decided to beat me up.

And now on to lesson number 4,015.
For the love of all things holy and just do not get the butcher knives and hide them behind your back to use as weapons if you think your mother is in trouble.

*Get the rifle.

And Neighbor at large.......don't cross Mia.

*not really.

Monday's Menu and Reviews.

2010-08-21T11:52:00.011-05:00

I hate making the menu and grocery lists. It makes my head hurt and I'm very slow at it. I think it's b/c it's not just making the menu. That's kinda the fun part. It's the fact that I also have to plan for the girls' lunches (they eat in the cafeteria sometimes but not all), take cleaning/toiletries inventory, compare the grocery list against what we already have so as to not double up, and then add on just snacks etc. for after school and weekends.

My college roommate Christine and I made a habit of doing this every two weeks and went grocery shopping together. We ate GOOD. I thought it was hard then with just the two of us. I don't think it matters how many of you there are. It's just hard sitting down and planning out in such detail...blech.

I used allrecipes.com again. I am liking it even more. I found out that you can add your own recipe and import it into your grocery list. You just can't customize an existing recipe without buying a membership. I think I'm going to stick with the free for right now.

Menu for this week:

Chicken Cordon Bleu, peas, garlic new potatoes
Spinach Basil Pesto, garlic bread (we didn't get around to making it last week)
Roasted Sticky Chicken, (I've made this many times..AMAZING) corn on the cob, green beans
Chicken Spaghetti (made with left over chicken from the Roasted Sticky Chicken), breadstix
Cheesy hashbrown casserole, butterbeans, steamed broccoli

Breakfast:

Monday: To Die For Blueberry Muffins (made them tonight)
Tuesday: Cereal
Wednesday: Biscuits, bacon, boiled egg for Mia, scrambled egg for Jules (Dad will prepare but he doesn't know it yet..he doesn't have to be at work until 9:30 so he can handle it).
Thursday: Monkey Bread (preparing night before then baking morning of)
Friday: Pop-Tarts

And now to the reviews. I tried to take pictures of everything but it's just not gonna happen. I have to multi-task in too many ways to stop and get a good picture of what I've cooked. And let me just say that photographing food is darn near impossible unless you have the perfect natural lighting. Considering we normally don't sit down and eat until the sun is down.....we don't get much natural lighting.

Swiss Chicken Casserole:

This was taken before I baked it. It gets golden brown and looks quite pretty.

This is very similar to one of Levi's favorite casseroles except much easier. The thing is it has Stovetop Stuffing in it. If you don't like SS then you might not like this. Despite the fact that I was a die-hard hater of SS I have grown a liking (or tolerance?) to it b/c I've made his version so many times. It's overall something we will all eat and that almost never happens. The recipe says to put foil over it...and I did, but take it off for the last 5 or 10 minutes so it can brown.

It's SO easy. I used chicken breast tenders and boneless/skinless thighs (very cheap) so I didn't even have to cut the chicken.

It's kinda fun to make. Not messy at all. Love that.

It makes great left overs.

I only changed one method. It instructs you to drizzle the melted butter over the stuffing. I recommend stirring the butter and stuffing up in a bowl to coat evenly first then pour over the chicken. And as a heads-up....2 cups of stuffing is 1 normal sized box.

Baked Parmesan Zucchini:

Also taken before I baked.

Levi and I both really liked this. The girls gagged, cried, and got in lots of trouble over this. But don't let that stop you from trying this...it's great. It is actually a recipe for grilling but I don't grill...Levi does and I thought baking it would be better. I just sliced (lenghwise) the zuc., and laid them out on a cookie sheet. I didn't use the recommended amount of butter b/c I thought it was too much and almost not necessary. I used half of the butter and poured in some olive oil. Add fresh parsley and minced garlic (I use the kind in the jar if I'm in a time crunch) to the mixture and brush over the zuc. Sprinkle with grated Parmesan and course salt to taste and bake.

I even broiled them the last minute or so to get the tops brown. Be careful not to overcook or you will get mush. Oh, and don't forget you switched the oven to broil or you will burn them FAST.

I thought it was difficult to slice the zuc. lengthwise and Levi didn't think slicing in circles would be as good so, boo on that.

This was a great change in our side/veggie category.

I am disappointed the girls didn't like it but I will make it again and just give them edamame instead...they love that stuff and it is beyond easy to prepare so it's not like I'm going to a lot of trouble to make something extra.

Twice Baked Potato Casserole:

There is nothing wrong with your eyes..the pic is totally out of focus.

This is so so good. I do not put the stuff back into the skins b/c I'm not talented enough for the skins to even be in a shape to use after I've scooped out the taters. I actually prefer to just dump it all in a dish and call it a casserole. I am a big fat cheater and I use Hormel Real Crumbled Bacon. I've done the real bacon before and it is NOT even worth the whole house smelling like bacon and the pain of crumbling up that greasy mess. We prefer the cheater bacon. NOT those fake bits of crunchy mystery stuff. I repeat...do not use bacon bits. Gross. Eww. Yuck. I put half the bag in the potato mixture and the other half on top. Perfection.

This is not the easiest or quickest recipe but so worth the extra effort. You can even prepare it up to the point of topping with cheese and bacon then store in the fridge and finish out the remaining 15 minutes in the oven when you are ready to eat. I recommend partnering it with an easy main dish like grilled or baked chicken otherwise your gonna be working too hard.

The girls make me crazy. Mia didn't like the cheese on top and she would have preferred to have her bacon crumbles on the side. What kid doesn't like cheese? Mine. That's what kid. Jules liked it quite a bit. I'll take that.

These also make great leftovers...always a plus b/c Levi loves leftovers, thankfully.

Black Bean Burgers:

Sorry, no picture on these. These are interesting in a good way. Levi thought these were great. He ate them the next day and said they were still great. It really is just a burger made with mashed beans instead of meat. We didn't add jalepeno and I didn't think it needed the entire onion..just half but that's just me. The original recipe calls for butter beans but we had black beans and they worked fine.

They cooked so well and got nice and crispy and brown. You need to make them thin or it will be too beany. I cooked them on medium for about 5-7 minutes per side...I was able to fit 4 patties in one skillet. The beans were a bit of a pain to mash but I am a super big wimp when it comes to things like that. Some reviewers baked theirs and I wan to try that next time. We didn't put them on buns but I wished I had...I think they would be great that way.

The girls were on the fence as usual. I think normal kids would love these. My kids don't even like mac-n-cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwhices. Yes, you should feel sorry for me.

If you are the least bit adventurous you should try these...a much less expensive alternative to a meat main dish and quite tasty.

Erin J., this is for YOU, dear. A picture of the Summer Squash Pasta I posted about a few weeks ago.

*And, for the record. I know it might seem weird that I'm posting our menu b/c...who cares? You know? BUT I also know that I get motivated when others are motivated and well, I've been in a food FUNK lately and I'm breaking out of it! So, I thought I'd share the motivation and see if it rubs off on anyone.

Met the Teachers.

2010-08-20T09:29:00.012-05:00

It finally happened.

Both my girls will be in school this year. I was sad towards the end of pre-school when I started my new job. In fact, I cried a lot over that. I think I got it out of my system b/c I'm o.k. right now. It helps that Jules is now nothing more than excited about going.

If you follow me on facebook you know that she did not want to go at all even a few weeks ago and threatened to punch her teacher in the face and show the whole class her booty if we made her go.

Funny ha-ha, until you think about it for a while. Then it's scary. Real scary.

Jules' personality has taken a change for the weird this summer. She has decided she is not shy anymore b/c she's 5. That's the reason she can do everything now...'cuz she's 5.

So, she orders her own food at restaurants. Talks to everyone who crosses her path. And tells random factoids to people while I'm having a conversation with them. Like..."Excuse me? Um, I got a boo-boo on my mouf 'cuz my daddy dropped my face on the concrete."

This evokes an "Awww..." from everyone and a "..poor thing..."

Until I tell them it happened two years ago.

Mia has changed in just the opposite way. She is much more reserved and quiet. She thinks before she speaks...if she speaks at all to strangers. She is very conscientious about everything as she doesn't want to be embarrassed. She always ask me if she has food on her face or if her hair is messed up.

Jules paints her face with her ice cream and uses clothes pins for hair clips and can't wait to get the first laugh out of it.

Jules gets a lot of attention that way. She is very much the class clown type and will sacrifice dignity for laughs anytime. This is hard for Mia. She often doesn't get the laughs or the attention like Jules does. Jules is also super affectionate. She practically made out with her great grandparents last weekend and I had to literally tell her to stop kissing them so much.

People love that. They love how easy she is. They love the attentions she gives them and in turn they reciprocate.

And I find Mia standing alone, not knowing what to do..but knowing she would like that kind of attention. Not comfortable making out with people like her sister or even giving them a good tight squeeze for a hug. She's a side hugger for sure. Jules will attack you like a linebacker.

Mia's teacher this year is perfectly picked by God for her. I know it. Mia gave her a gift last night and she opened it and raved over each little thing. Then she asked Mia if she could give her a hug. I was so happy b/c this is exactly what my little girl needs! When we got in the car Mia kept talking about how sweet that was that she gave her a hug. I think it was the highlight of the night.

Levi and I have put our physical and verbal affection in overdrive for her this summer. It's hard to see your child's confidence sinking deeper and deeper and fearing all kinds of the worst for them as a teenager and young adult. I know she doesn't think to get in my lap while we are watching a movie so I ask her too...she loves that. Jules lives in my lap so I have to peel her away and throw her far enough away for Mia to actually get on it.

I've decided that telling her she's beautiful is not enough. I'm the mom...I have to think that, right? So, I tell her I looove the color of her hair. How her skin color is practically royal. Her lips...so naturally rosy and red. How her nose makes the perfect profile. Her discreet freckles so intriguing. Her quiet nature so inviting...someone you want to sit alone with and get to know. Because you know they hold many treasures they don't share with everyone. Just those worthy to know.

And Mia, if you ever read this when you are older. It's not just because I'm your mom. It's not just b/c dad is your dad. You really are beautiful. You just don't know it yet, but I sure wish you did.

When Mia is upset she shuts down. I have to spend hours getting things out of her. She is not good at verbally articulating her feelings at all. Even at age 3 she would draw me a picture of a sad or mad little girl and hand it to me and walk off. Sometimes I will notice I haven't seen her in a while and I'll find her in her room or in a corner just sitting, having no idea anything was wrong in the first place.

Jules is a complete and total open book. Emotions run HIGH with her 24/7. She screams at me. Who am I kidding, I think she's growled at me before. We will tell her that she needs to calm down and quit crying or go to her room and finish it out. She will 100% of the time go to her room and bawl then come back and say (or scream) she can't stop and won't stop...then she'll go back...and eventually, she is done. The wonderful thing about this is that there is no guessing with her. This enables me to evaluate the situation and approach it appropriately.

Mia keeps me on my knees praying that the Lord will give me wisdom and help her develop into a confident young woman and embrace her quiet nature, not be jealous of Jules' um, not quiet nature.

Jules keeps me on my knees praying she won't moon her kindergarten class.

Parenting is the most difficult scary thing I've done to date. To think that we are responsible for these little people soon to be teenagers...then adults....responsible for who they are and who they become. It's humbling and makes me thankful I know God.

I thought I was just going to post meet the teacher pictures. Guess I had more on my mind than I thought.

One thing is for sure. We love them both. We love the extremes they each have. We hope to mold and shape them to use their personalities appropriately and wisely. Right now Mia is somewhat manipulative in how she gets attention b/c she doesn't know how to get it honestly. This is not healthy. Jules tends to go overboard...go too far....and I think we all know this can be a dangerous trait as well.

And now to the moral of the story! We met our teachers last night!

I removed the name of their school to ward off any loonies.

I love how I didn't have to ask Levi to take off work 3 hours early to go with them to meet their teachers. He was excited to go...he's a good dad.

Jules was so giddy!

She wasted no time investigating all the centers....

Oh, the possibilities...

Lockers are always a BIG hit....

I wonder, will she stay on the happy-good-girl face OR will she go into the red? Only time will tell and 3 months ago I would bet money on her clip never leaving the blue but now, I'm just gonna pray about that...

Such a sweet lady...

Her desk....

Her schedule...

And unfortunately there wasn't much else to photograph. What a big difference in a kinder & first grade classroom compared to a 2nd grade one. Kinda sad :(

I did something out of the ordinary and unlike me at all. I brought their teachers a mini-gift. I barely even remember to do Christmas gifts so I thought I'd get my brown nosing in before the crazy starts.

I had this idea to do a "Back to School Teacher Survival Kit". I went to the travel size section of the pharmacy and to the add-on items at the register that I usually ignore and found some great useful things for them...and of course added a little humor to the mix.

In their little bag:

-shout wipes
-Burt's Bees amazing chapstick
-Advil...
-stress relief hand lotion
-chocolate
-a mini tin of altoid mints
-a mini lint roller
-a $5 gift card to Starbuck's to get them going Monday morning

All items were travel size so the cost was minimal and can fit in their desk easily.

I hope they like it. I hope they like me.

And most of all I hope they like my children.

I Don't Even Know What to Say.

2010-08-17T17:37:00.005-05:00

You know how you just can't wait to change from your work clothes to your comfy clothes, lie down under the fan and cool off from a very long hot drive home, and then catch up on all the on-line activities you missed? Maybe even fix a snack..relax...

Well, back up to the first part of that and stop right after I take my shoes off and before I take my work pants off.

I was in the bathroom, so sweaty stinking hot. So tired.

And then Mia yells..."Get mom!" and Jules come dashing in yelling "Emergency...a bad emergency!" all the while crying...as usual.

As I left my room and entered the hall I knew exactly what was happening. I got a sick feeling as I heard water running and splashing....dripping and sloshing...coming straight from their bathroom.

Toilet. Overflowing. Me. Barefoot.

The water was about 10 seconds from the carpet so I literally leaped into the bathroom and turned the water off. I snatched up the hamper, step stool, and trashcan and set them on the counter. Then I watched as the water flooded the whole bathroom....

And I almost threw up right then and there.

From all appearances it seemed as though the toilet quit flushing about 10 uses prior and began working one use prior except that all the toilet paper, pee, and at least one round of poo stopped the whole thing up thus causing our cup to runneth over.

And it wasn't holy water and Jesus had nothing to do with it.

Although, I may have called out to Him the very second I planted my bare foot into the sewage described above. I mean, how am I supposed to know to say "Girls, if the potty quits working then perhaps you should stop using it."

Isn't that a given?

After the water stopped I think I immediately began to cry. I mean, I was standing in sewage barefoot and now I had to clean up the aftermath.

A very good reason to cry. It wasn't really a choice...more a reflex. You stick your foot in sewage water...you cry hot heavy numerous tears and began acting like a child.

The girls were standing at the door, *slack-jawed and stupefied. I yelled at them.

"Get out! Go away! RIGHT NOW!"

I needed some time to throw a temper tantrum and I didn't want them to witness it or hear anything that might incriminate me later. And I really, most certainly, did NOT need their help.

I also did not need to hear them saying things like..."Oh, that is sooo GROSS!"

"Do you smell that, Jules? OMGsh that is sooo bad."

"Look, Mia, Mom is STANDING in it...oh, NASTEEEE."

Hence the "GET OUT." Which, by the way, is an argument in favor of my theory that parents don't yell....

...the first time.

We don't yell the second or third or fourth time.

But after the fifth time of asking nicely in your most psychotic, clearly fixing to crack, Michelle Duggar voice, well....then we yell, dang it.

So, my first instinct is to take a bath. But, that would be pointless considering I have to clean it all up. So, I sit up on the counter, rinse my feet, do a death leap to the carpet to avoid further contamination and go get a laundry basket.

First step, get some shoes on. I now have rubber boots on my Target list. I never knew how handy those suckers could be.

I flat out threw away the mat and a pair of cheap-o flip flops that were submerged. Luckily Mia put the entryway mat into their bathroom and the bathroom mat in her room so no big loss there. I never thought I would appreciate her "removement" so much. That's what they call it when they move everything around.

Kind of like re-decorating but really it's just moving things around and makes me want to check myself into the nut house b/c things just come up missing with no obvious explanation.

I finally found my brand new box of Kleenex, the vase from my bathroom, the bathmat from their bathroom, the "first date" kit (first aid) from the cabinet, and a lamp from the guest room in Mia's room. She asked if I liked it.

I asked if she realized she jacked something from every room in the house?

We discussed what permission means, for the 1000th time.

I got several **clean-up towels and threw them on the floor then smooshed them around with my feet, now with shoes on them. With rubber gloves I scooped up everything else that remained on the floor. The girls use the floor as their hamper, so yeah, that was awesome. I shoved all of it in the washer and I didn't even care about reds being mixed with whites or whites with darks.

I figured I would just keep whatever survived.

Jules came in once to check on me b/c I couldn't stop gagging, coughing, whining, and then the occasional...WHY ME?

She asked if I was o.k.

I was tempted to give her a swirly but that would mean that the toilet would need to be working.

Which leads me to that. I plunged and plunged and to no avail! I began to think maybe they flushed a stuffed animal or something horrible that would require a plumber and money.

I stopped and cried. And begged God to make it go away. I was being a bit dramatic, no?

Dramatic or not, He heard my cries! Finally with the last plunge it all went away....

I sprayed the entire bathroom down with cleaner and mopped everything then ran to the shower contemplating a quick rinse with bleach but I came to my senses.

I used Lysol Clean Up instead.

At that point I kinda felt like I was done for the day. Dinner? I think not. I just cleaned like a prisoner. Getting Jules a drink of milk...uh, no. Did you not just see what mommy did? I quit for the day, o.k., sweetie. When daddy get's home he'll pick up where I've left off. What Mia? You broke your foot...aww, what a shame since I'm off duty for the rest of the day. Prop it up on the ottoman and see if neighbor Nurse Deena can fix you up b/c remember, I just had a bad experience and I might need a little hypno-therapy if you ever expect me to care for you again.

We had a discussion about how important it is to tell mom and dad when the toilet quits flushing. And how continuing to use it AND toilet paper is not the best choice. And how, if they do it again, I will give each of them to fat Ed, our neighbor who rides around on his scooter.

With no shirt on.

Mia can't believe he is allowed to show his boobs like that. It truly is pornographic, he's about 350lbs and not tall.

I was going to give you some reviews on our menu but I don't don't think that would be quite right considering the content of this post. Maybe next time.

*slack-jawed is a term stolen directly off of Melissa's blog...thanks for that great phrase, Melissa.
**please please please go buy some cheap white towels (like 10) and keep them in the garage for such terrible things as described above...I always have a stash and they have proven to be invaluable. White is important b/c there will be no color transfer to whatever you are cleaning up and you can bleach them without them coming out looking funky.

Grocery Groove....

2010-08-10T13:52:00.004-05:00

I just officially used allrecipes.com to make our menu for the next two weeks as well as my grocery list. I've used the site before but never fully committed to it, mainly just found recipes on it. I think I've even blogged about it b/c I always thought it would be a good resource.

A few months back I bought a membership but was not happy with what a member had access to vs. a non-member. They were very professional and gave me my money back. What I wasn't happy about was the fact that you could edit an existing recipe to your liking BUT you could not then add the newly adjusted recipe to your grocery list. Only the original would import. That was the main reason I became a member b/c I could do just about everything else I would want to do for free.

But now I'm thinking about becoming a member again b/c I've decided that it is worth it to be able to add your own recipe without having to go through the approval process. Only I will be able to see it unless I share it with another member (I think?). And if I find a recipe that I like but requires lots of adjustments then I can just re-enter the recipe the way I like it and then it will import to the grocery list the way I want it to.

(FYI...you can add your own recipe for free but it will not import into your grocery list.)

You can find a recipe, add it to your recipe box and even specify a folder, and add it to your grocery list from the same page. Very handy. You can add your own items to the list and choose which isle it will be on. Super handy.

What I did this time is search recipes and add the ones that looked good to my box. I then came back today and chose the ones we would try and made a grocery list. I added extra things to the list (like milk, cleaners, etc.) and then deleted items that I didn't need or already had. For example, it the recipe calls for 1/2 cup of water...it will be on your list. I think we all have water.

I have to make a confession. I can't get on the uber-technology band wagon. I have an ipod touch with great apps for grocery shopping and list making. I like pen and paper. I like working at a keyboard. I do NOT like typing on tiny phone keyboards. It makes me crazy. So, I write down the main dishes on my notepad and add the side dishes to go with them. I mark off the meal when all ingredients are on the allrecipes grocery list that are not already included.

Then you can either e-mail the list to yourself and use your smart phone to check off the ingredients as it will be sent in a format that allows you to check off...awesome. Or you can just go into your shopping list through the allrecipes site and access your grocery list from there. OR you can just print the dang thing off which is what I will have to do b/c I don't have a smart phone.

O.k., so I hope some of you will try it out especially if you are in a cooking funk. It might get you in the groove again.

Here is what I will be attempting to make over the next two weeks. We won't have to cook everyday b/c of things going on so it's a relatively short menu. And yes, there is some weird stuff in there but Levi and the girls will eat baked chicken for breakfast lunch and dinner and I just can't take it any longer. I don't like baked chicken. AT ALL. And honestly, we are trying to eat safer better for you meat and it is pricey so we are doing quite a bit of meatless dishes.

Swiss Chicken Casserole w/ Garlic Parmesan Zucchini & strawberry spinach salad with candied pecans and my homemade honey cilantro lime dressing.

Pulled pork roast w/ twice baked potatoes, and peas

Black bean burgers (using black beans instead of butter beans and doing patties only for us), raw carrots and ranch for the girls, glazed carrots for the adults, steamed broccoli for everyone and no, gagging will not stop me from making you eat it.

Veggie Flat bread Pizza (chopped fresh basil, sliced black olives b/c we all love them, sauce, and smothered in mozzarella cheese) w/ sliced fresh fruit on the side.

Spinach Basil Pesto on fettuccine w/ garlic bread

Stuffed Green Peppers w/ roasted okra b/c I like okra and they can all kiss my hiney, and the most delicious frozen yeast rolls EVAH. You have to be thinking ahead b/c you must thaw them out for a few hours but so SO worth the wait. No reason to slave over making your own b/c these will fool even the most seasoned pallet.

Easy Ravioli Lasagna w/ garlic bread

I'll let you know what we think of some of those weird things up there. I have high hopes, really. I chose only recipes that got GREAT reviews.

The Swinney's Take Corpus Christi.

2010-08-02T14:25:00.012-05:00

We just got back from Corpus last night around midnight. Needless to say I am SO glad my babysitter couldn't watch the girls today and that my boss was o.k. with me working Wednesday instead b/c I am so beat. I don't know how Levi is even working today. He drove the entire way yesterday. One of the main reason's I married him, I think. He is a night owl and likes to drive which means that I don't have to drive, ever. A very good reason to marry someone.

I had a serious debate with myself about going to Corpus or Galveston. I've been to Galveston but never to Corpus. I can say now that if I were to do it again, I would choose Galveston. The beaches are very similar and Galveston is a little more tourist friendly. Other than the beach, the USS Lexington, and the Aquarium...there just isn't much in Corpus. We only did the beach so I can't give a review on the the other two attractions.

Now WH if you read this and want to dispute the above claims then it's your own dang fault for not getting back to me on where to go and what to do.

We went to two beaches recommended by locals. One was more family friendly, the other just a dang better beach....

...with lots of beer drinking single adults listening to music not appropriate for young kids and LOTS of dogs.

Now, this may sound bad, but we chose to go back to the inappropriate music beach b/c the girls were none the wiser on the lyrics. They were so captivated by the sand and surf that they probably don't even recollect music being in the background. There was far less seaweed there, less trash floating around, and more diversity in sea life. So, I'm sorry, but the drunk young adults aren't going to prevent me from enjoying a good beach.

We saw several sea turtles, hermit crabs, real blue crabs, tons of living seashells that would quickly disappear into the sand just as fast as they washed up. Thankfully we never saw a jelly fish BUT we were informed that someone did get stung by a sting-ray. I would challenge that notion seeing as how the man was not even acting like anything was wrong. I've heard that those encounters can be quite horrible..vomiting, fever, sever sickness. Who knows?

It was basically perfect conditions for a very nervous mom taking her kids to the beach for the first time. There was hardly even an undertow.

Jules was on cloud 9 the entire vacation. She mostly loved the hotel. OMGsh. I need to rent her out to people to take with them to a hotel. She will make a mostly normal average thing into something amazingly magical. She was fascinated by every detail, including the shower cap in the bathroom. This is how this one wakes up in the morning....jumping on the bed...telling everyone to rise and shine....

And this one, well, let's just say I might have lost a finger if I pointed it at her....

I love this picture b/c Levi made them hold his hands and be still for just a moment so they could feel the sand wash out from under their feet as the water came back and forth.

They wasted no time starting their seashell collection. We had to dig out the live ones from their bucket and show them how to tell which shells had a guest and which ones were vacant. They loved watching the little clear creatures sneak half-way out of their shells and quickly dig into the sand. They tried their hardest to open the shells but realized very quickly how the shell is their defense mechanism and keeps them very safe. They were never able to open one...much to the little creatures relief.

Here is a short video of the disappearing shell creatures. Look towards the top center and top right.....

Levi and Mia hit the waves. I wish I could have gotten better pictures of them but it was very hard and I didn't want to ruin my camera. They body surfed a lot and Mia rode on Levi's back which was so cute. She loved every minute of being in the water and waves.

And this is the best shot I got of Jules in the water. She walked out in the water, got splashed in the face by a wave with salt water...began to gag, hack, and spit....then ran like a bat out of hell back to the sand.

Where she enjoyed building sand humps. Lots and lots of humps. Of course, to her they were mountains and castles and many other grand things.

She even decided that her hiney was too good for this sandy beach. She insisted on sitting on this little floatie. I couldn't help but sympathize with her as she walked to me once looking like she had something stuck in her crawl. She did...a TON of sand. So, that just can't be comfortable, right? I thought the little cushion was an excellent solution.

(Does a cute little sandy hiney ever get old? No. It doesn't.)

Once she was out of the water and on her cushion...she was happy..

I was her sand hump building partner. I did sit down in the beach chair once. Just as soon as I opened my book a sweet little sandy girl in a yellow tu-tu swimsuit said "Excuse me, do you think you could mind coming and building a sand castle with me?" And I closed my book and obliged happily...

Mia did enjoy the sand for a little while. She inspected it closely looking for buried treasures...

Here is the girls with their favorite guy ever. He found them a real live sand dollar b/c he was the one who went way far out in the scary shark-infested-jelly-fish-swarming-sting-ray-creeping deep waters to find it. He also found a beautiful perfect swirly shell out there too. Another reason why he's their favorite guy is that he wouldn't kill the sand dollar with bleach just so we could have a pretty white one as a souvenir. They were more than happy to bring home the slightly broken one he found them that was already in sea-world heaven.

We then hit up the pier. That's where we saw cute little slimy sea turtles paddling away and basking in the sun, and diving back down to the depths of the sea. That was very neat. It was on that very pier that little Miss Jules reached her limit. She was such a trooper, though. She never once pulled any drama-mama stuff she normally does. She had her head down and was walking slowly...I asked her if she was o.k. She sighed. Then said, yeah, I'm just so tired. But I'll be alright, mama. Sweet little big-girl.

Around the pier in the midst of the concrete supports we found tons of little hermit crabs. It was funny watching the girls find them and then tell the other to pick it up. They were just a little bit timid about them b/c they seriously didn't want to get pinched. Mia kept asking us to pinch her so she would know what it felt like! So funny. This was also a favorite hang-out of hers. Little Miss. loves everything creepy crawly.

The one picture of us...she was way to busy for picture taking. And can I just say that this little $15 swim shirt from Target saved her sweet precious white skin from disaster? Levi got so burnt and he did wear lots of sunblock. I got so burnt and I wore some sunblock. I usually don't burn but holy heavens. My back...oh, my back! Jules didn't even get pink. Just more brown.

Here is a fun picture of our feet. Fun. Yes. Flattering angle for my thighs. No. Do you see the pattern? Brown. White. Brown. White.....

I think these smiles sum up our weekend trip...

And let's just say the ride home was hilarious. Levi and I spent a good 20 minutes listening to them play some weird version of Truth or Dare. Jules said "Is it TRUE, Mia, that you wear panties......IN DA NIGHT?" And she said it in the most detective of voices. Then she dared her to put a crayon up her nose. But then quickly said, "But not too far..just a little..b/c that's dangerous."

Mia asked Jules "Is it True that YOU wear PULL-UPS at night?" Then Jules said.."I do NOT want to talk about that. Next." Mia dared Jules to lick all over her new stuffed hamster.

And I'll just say I had to make a rule to quit daring each other to put things in their panties. Oh, brother.

Then we all told really bad knock knock jokes.

Then we told a progressive story which ended in everyone getting mad and killing off the previous contributors story characters and then some one else bringing them back to life.

It got real ugly.

Guess we didn't need that car dvd player after-all...or did we....I'll let you decide. If I blogged about it I might entitle the post "The day the robot monkey threw a little girl overboard but was saved by a golden dolphin who turned into a giant gum drop that was eaten by a mad mob of real monkeys who then threw up baby golden dolphins. The end.

Girls Just Wanna Have Great Hair.

2010-07-28T15:35:00.011-05:00

I realize mothers of boys think they have it rough. Boys can be rowdy, yes. Boys can be adventurous, certainly. Boys can be stinky, this is true.

BUT.

One thing I will argue to the death over is...at least you don't have to fix little boys' hair.

Now, I do realize they do need their hair brushed or spiked. This, however, does not compare to pig-tails, pony-tails, braids, french braids, side parts, middle parts, down-hair, up-hair, french twists, curled hair, straightened hair, barrettes, headbands.....

Need I go on?

And when you have one little blond haired girl who has a super extremely freakishly insanely sensitive head and couple that with her super extremely freakishly insanely tangled mess of hair.......

....well, that equals HELL. Every. Single. Morning.

So, I add approximately 30 minutes to my morning routine every day just to fix hair.

And by every day I mean once a week this summer. Ask our babysitter. EB, I should be horrified by the way my girls come to your house. Dee-scusting.

But when school starts after a very long summer of swimming in very harsh conditions almost daily it will be WWIII right around 7:30am at the Swinney household as we try to make ourselves presentable for school. Most days I just comb the hair around her scalp, skip going down to the ends b/c it's just not worth the tears and trouble and either do pigtails or a ponytail pulled halfway through to create little tangle hiding messy buns.

It's her signature look and she pulls it off quite well. We call them doodle-bops:

Can I get an AMEN from anyone who has had the privilege of brushing her hair? I try very hard to be careful b/c her hair is unnaturally tangly. Our hair girl, after washing & conditioning Mia's hair, takes the comb and gasps as she tries to make her way down to the ends and says..."Oh, sweetie! Bless your heart!"

Do you have the same problem? Have teary mornings and river ratty looking little girls got you down? Are you the talk of all the school marms for neglecting to fix up your daughters hair all prim and proper for school every day?

Well, I have good news for you! Introducing Shine Happy by Clairol:

I don't believe in worshiping idols but I may or may not have bowed to this box of heavenly goodness this afternoon. This box of blissfully wonderful shiny conditioning fun stuff.

The contents of this box can take this:

And turn it into this:

On the exact night before school starts.

And call me partial but I absolutely love the color of her hair. I envy it.

This is what I did for Mia before first grade. I was totally freaking out b/c I could NOT comb her hair even after the a) rinse out conditioner b) leave in creme conditioner and c) spray detangler.

What was a girl to do?

Well this mama-girl went to Target and hit the jackpot. I don't know how it did it but after just 12 minutes it transformed Mia's hay-hair to spun-gold hair. And it lasts for a while, too. I understand it says not for children. I also understand it's chemicals. BUT you wouldn't think bad of me if you had to deal with her hair like I do. You might just drink the stuff if you were me. (We only use it once a year so quit freaking out, Anjolee.)

Mia was BEAMING. She brushed her hair for an hour just feeling it and checking the mirror every 5 minutes. She doesn't get to brush her hair often b/c it is too painful. Every girl should get to feel like they have amazing hair once a year.

It is quite simple. You pour one bottle of cancer into another bottle of poison and shake. Apply to damp (not recently washed) hair and leave in for 10 minutes. I was able to apply plenty to Mia and Jules' hair with some left over. Lather and rinse with warm water. Apply amazing fantastic miracle once-a-week conditioner and leave in for 2 minutes. Rinse, dry, and style as usual. Shampoo after 24 hours.

There is enough once-a-week conditioner to use for about 6-8 weeks.

I do have a great tip for summer, though. Get a garden style spray bottle like this:

Fill it with a mixture of 2 parts water 1 part conditioner, shake. Saturate everyone's hair with it before you get in the pool. You hair will not absorb so much of the harsh pool water. Do NOT use a hairspray type spray bottle. If you do, you will need to cut your hand off after squirting that much. The garden type bottle is MUCH easier.

Now, we didn't quite use this tip this summer b/c I had the hairspray type spray bottle. That's how I knew you would want to cut your hand off after using it. And I can't even remember to get toilet paper at the grocery store much less a garden spray bottle.

And just for kicks here is the leave in creme conditioner I use and it will leave your girls smelling like they just left the salon:

That's a wrap on hair.

Remodeling Woes.

2010-07-25T00:11:00.012-05:00

I have not yet adjusted to the size of our house. It's not big when compared to your typical American standards. But it is big for someone who's strength is NOT decorating. For the past year I've just been overwhelmed with the thought of painting...decorating...hanging pictures...or actually FINDING the pictures and frames from the move.

I can't make decisions. Well, I make them and change my mind 5 thousand times. I can honestly say I come close to having anxiety attacks when thinking about decorating our house. So that's why it still looks like 75 year old Mrs. Not-Good-Taste-Beverly still lives here.

That is one decision I've made...I don't like her top of the line Wal-Mart 1980's Southwestern Indian pottery themed wall-paper AND border.

And let's not forget that I live with an architect. And architects ain't just interested in building stuff. So, I don't get the luxury of just going out and buying something for the house. It has to be "decided" on jointly. If you don't sense the sarcasm, then re-read that last sentence and do hand quotes while saying "decided" really slowly.

Sense it now?

I think it's hard for me right now b/c I get bogged down with how trivial things like bathroom shower curtains really are and how we are living lavishly compared to some. But, at the same time, it is my responsibility as a mother and wife to make our home warm and loving and comfortable. It's not so much any of that.

I have made considerable progress with the girls' rooms. If only they could keep it clean for longer than 2.5 seconds I could share pictures with you. Maybe when school starts that might happen. Or if I tie them to the kitchen table.

Well, I've gotten a burst of motivation. Levi got a burst of it about a month ago and here is the result:

Oh, the joys of having an architect as a husband who has zero experience with construction but who WANTS experience thus we have holes in the walls just to "see what's under there". I have faith that it will be perfect when he's done b/c he is a perfectionist. A slooow perfectionist but one nonetheless.

It's been about a month now. I have what I'd like to call dry-wall lung. I'm sure I'll die of it. Levi used our Dyson to clean up the aftermath and now it's safe to say the Dyson is in critical condition. He failed to tell me that but I quickly learned of the situation when I turned it on to vacuum the living room and #1 a cloud of white smoke shot out of it from all different directions and #2 it sounded like someone stuck a pitch fork in it. I thought i was going to have to resuscitate Jules b/c of that scary noise.

I did minor vacuum surgery to remove a nail that had lodged itself somewhere in it's underparts but alas, it HAS lost it's suction, Mr. Dyson. But, I'm sure you have some sort of disclaimer regarding the whole "it won't loose it's suction" stating something to the effect of....not applicable to husbands who use it as a shop vac.

Moving on to my burst of motivation...

The guest bathroom. Go figure...it's the smallest room in the house. I can handle that. Kind of. You see, I've already bought a shower curtain, rug, and toilet seat cover but I've changed my mind already. See? I have issues.

Here is a post I did last year with pics of our old tired bathroom.

I thought this striped shower curtain could have been toned down with a neutral paint on the wall but no. It won't work and I don't like it. So buh-bye.

The walls will be some sort of taupe or coffee color. And that's coffee with a lot of creme and sugar coffee. The wainscoting and all the trim will get a fresh new coat of white paint and new trim. The mirror will get a white crown molding border. Click HERE for some examples. I've read you can use nail glue. I'll let you know how that works out. And hopefully it won't be by me sharing pictures of Mia and Jules with stitches in their heads from a rogue crown molding attack.

Here's the idea behind the color palette...

And here are some shower curtains I am contemplating....

I still want the girls to feel like it's their bathroom so that will come into play with wall art. We are going to the beach soon so I was hoping to snap a good picture of them there and possibly bring back some shells or purchase some sand dollars or something to frame or whatever. I def. don't want a full-on beach themed bathroom. Just a hint of sentiment from our trip.

But I'll probably change my mind about all of it in a week.

I'm the only normal one. And I'm not that normal.

2010-07-21T22:40:00.008-05:00

Jules is crazy funny. And sort of just plain crazy.

She found my label maker and did this:

She wore her name on her head for 24 hours. It was not pleasant pulling it off. I think she will listen next time I tell her it's not a good idea to wear a sticker on her head for 24 hours.

Or maybe not.

When I ask her to do something she says "Yes, your majesty." And she bows. Or "Your wish is my command." Or something straight out of a Disney princess movie.

Yesterday I had to ask her to leave the kitchen b/c she was basically making me nuts. I love her so very much but one can only tolerate being asked when dinner will be ready so many times before sinning. I don't like sinning so I asked her to leave instead.

She grabbed Penny by the collar and said "Come on Penny, we've been banished."

*********

While driving the other day Jules yelled out "Hey LOOK! Giant footprints!" I, of course, gave the motherly nod and "oh, yeah...neat...." even though I had no idea what she was talking about. Then Mia chimed in...

Jules! That's not footprints. That's golf sand.

No, it's footprints Mia! I saw them!

Noooo, it's golf sand. Who's the smart one around here, huh? ME. And I say it's golf sand. So SHUSH!

**********

Mia gave Penny a bath for me. Exactly on the day I had spent HOURS catching up on laundry. I even washed all the lap blankets and towels. I mean, everything was washed. Mia originally asked if she could brush penny. Sure. So Mia takes her into the bathroom so she can't get away from her. Good thinking, Mia.

Several minutes pass and Penny comes bailing out of the bathroom. Wet. And kind of sticky. I think...hmmm..that doesn't quite add up. So off I go to investigate. The bathroom is empty except for one red lap blanket and two beach towels that are soaked with water and covered with dog hair and hand soap.

Thanks, Mia. Now excuse me while I re-wash the blanket and towels, give Penny a bath to remove the hand soap you so generously squirted her with, and mop the bathroom floor.

**********

Jules made a water pop-sickle. She started off by asking if she could. Sure. Then she said there was one teeny problem. She needed a popsicle stick which, too bad, was stuck in a popsicle and she needed to eat the popsicle to get the stick out to make her water popsicle. Um, o.k.

She filled a small cup with water and was very disappointed when the stick did not stay put in the middle like all good popsicle sticks should do. So, she settled for a crooked stick in her water popsicle. Except that she needed to put some Trix cereal in it. I said...that's nasty. She said...not to me and anyways I'm just gonna lick it and now it will be pretty.

And so that's whats in my freezer now. A water Trix are for kids popsicle.

**********

Girls...would you like mommy to have another baby? You know, like have a brother or sister?
Mia, with no hesitation at all...No mom. Don't you think you have your hands full with us? And then Jules quickly follows...Yeah, you got enough to do.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Just wanted to see what they would say and I can promise you...it wasn't that. And no, we are not having another baby so calm down already.

***********

And if your thinking that any craziness that my children display is from me....think again.

Oh...think again....

Levi came home one day beaming with pride at what he had accomplished at work (and no, not on the company dime, it was after hours):

Need I say more?

I Don't. Think. So.

Two Reviews.

2010-07-15T16:04:00.004-05:00

I am going to rant about two things that I bought recently that I am not happy with so as to maybe prevent you from wasting your money.

First thing....Mr. Clean Foamfit gloves for cleaning and/or gardening.
They are really comfortable, yes. BUT the top of the glove is made of fabric. You know, the stuff that water seeps through. The cleaner-tainted water that you are trying to prevent from getting on your hands thus the whole entire reason you're wearing gloves. The water was jostling around in the gloves. Ewww. They are virtually useless.

Second up is the Crayola Telescoping Crayon Tower.

It comes with a decent enough crayon sharpener and tons of crayons. Yay. Except that the whole point of it is to telescope up so that you can see all the vast array of crayons easily. And it doesn't exactly do that. Well, it does after you curse it to hell and twist it to the point of almost breaking every single time you try to make it go up or down.

And after you have the cat fight I described up there with the Super Duper Crayola Telescoping Crayon Tower chances are you will break the tips off of a few of the crayons in the process. And you will probably not be in the mood to color with your children any longer. And for the hefty price of $15.00 it should telescope like a champ AND after you are done telescoping it the colors should still have their tips on them and everyone should be a happy coloring together family.

But instead your angry.

So don't buy those two things.

Summer Squash Recipe.

2010-07-08T12:55:00.003-05:00

I know some people didn't even bother to read beyond the title b/c they hate squash.

And you see, I'm o.k. with that. I am just fine with people not liking squash even though I love it.

I will not try to convince them, even though they are adults and have come to the conclusion that squash is not for them, that this recipe will change their minds. Because it won't.

I just wish people would give me the same respect regarding seafood. I hate it. With a deep passion.

As in, it makes me gag and convulse and want to wash my mouth (and throat and stomach) out with Clorox.

I don't like crab. Not crab cakes. Not crab rangoons either. Not stuffed crab. Not crab legs or claws or knuckles...gagging just typing this. I don't like shrimp. Not boiled, fried, sauteed, in a salad, on pasta, or ice cold in tomato sauce. I don't like fish. Not broiled, not filleted, not dipped in tartar sauce, not on a taco and not a fancy kind that supposedly doesn't taste fishy b/c it does. And yes I've had the cheap kind the expensive kind the rare kind and the just out of the ocean kind and yes, it still tastes like seafood. As it should. But, you see, I don't like seafood so it still isn't good to me.

I've even had Sushi at Piranha's. I promised Levi I would try it b/c he loves it and wants me to love it to. He ordered me something he was certain I would like. It had bright pink raw salmon in thin layers on top of it. I don't know what else was in it for after the first (way to big) bite I started to get tears in my eyes. I had to close them and take my mind to a happy place so that I wouldn't embarrass Levi and make myself look like a doofus by spitting it out in my plate and asking the cook to dowse my mouth with lighter fluid....all the while writhing in disgust on the ground.

He said he has never seen me look more miserable in my life. And he has seen me give birth.

Twice.

So, please. Just let me not like seafood. That includes my father in law. He is the sweetest man ever. But even after 11 years of knowing me and knowing that I don't like it...he forgets. Or he remembers but asks me just in case I got a tongue transplant in the recent past. It's pretty funny though, I must admit.

And yes, I know, I'm "missing out". But I disagree. I don't miss the intense nausea and gagging that lingers after just one bite..maybe even one sniff...of anything seafood.

And to put it in perspective. Have you ever been pregnant and super sick and nauseous? Let's say, bacon sends you racing to the toilet. Would you like me to dip it in ranch and see if it makes it better?

Didn't think so.

And now to the recipe.

I may or may not have posted this before. I wouldn't know b/c I don't do smart things like label my posts. This is one of Levi's very favorite dishes. It's not my favorite but it's good and it's fast and easy.

We call it Squash Zucchini Pasta:

What you will need:

Fettuccine pasta
Olive oil
2 squash (sliced not to thin or thick...medium)
2 zucchini (ditto)
Italian seasoning
salt & pepper
garlic salt (optional)
Parmesan cheese

Boil the water for the pasta and cook the pasta while you cook the squash. Drizzle saute pan with a generous amount of olive oil and get it hot. Carefully put the sliced zucchini in the pan and saute for about 3-4 minutes BEFORE you put the squash in. The yellow squash cooks much faster and you don't want it to get mushy and fall apart. Sprinkle the squash with Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, and garlic salt. How much? You decide. That's just how I cook. Continue cooking until the squash is tender but not mush. Towards the end of cooking them I turn the heat up b/c I like them to get a little brown. You can steam your squash if you want. I prefer the saute method.

Drain pasta and drizzle with a little olive oil and stir. This keeps the pasta from sticking together. Plate the pasta then spoon some squash on top. Sprinkle with as much Parmesan as you like and enjoy.

This meal takes me about 15 minutes from start to finish. Probably not even that long.

Of course, you can add chicken but that would add to the cooking time and this is one of my go-to fast meals and we kind of like that it's vegetarian.

Seriously?

2010-07-06T17:06:00.003-05:00

Life with two kids just two years apart is interesting. Sometimes I think it's the best thing I've ever done and sometimes the worst.

They are at the point where they can do just about the same things.

Like play games in the car.

On the way back from getting the girls from my mom Mia asked if we could play a game b/c she gets particularly bored on car trips. And we are particularly lame parents who have not jumped on the watch tv in the car band wagon. Nothing against it...just not there yet.

We start with what we call the animal game. You simply say "I'm thinking of an animal..." and then proceed to describe it until someone guesses it or gives up.

It was going quite well until Mia described a bird with a blue neck and rainbow feathers and a long beak and a bunch of other non-sense. We guessed every bird we could think of.

It was the make-believe bird from Up except she couldn't think of the name of it.

To which I said..if you don't know the name of the animal then you can't use it as your animal. That would make the game very difficult. AND, btw, if you so choose to describe a make-believe only found in movies animal then your description should begin with that disclaimer.

She did not agree and accused me of calling her a liar. Because that big blue necked rainbow feathered bird IS real AND all one has to do is answer with "Oh, I know! That bird from Up!". No name necessary.

Right.

That game ended there.

And then Mia punched Jules' arm and said YELLOW SLUG!

Jules begins to cry and wonder why in the world Mia would hit her for NO REASON. Emphasis on NO REASON b/c they always add that to the end of whatever. Or they say ON PURPOSE a lot too.

Mia was certain it was a game that Grandmother taught her. You hit people when you see a colored car and yell out the color of it followed by "slug".

I'm sure you all get it by now. It's the slug-bug game where you slug people on the arm when you see one. Except not the way Mia did it.

I explained the game and Jules cried harder then yelled at both of us through her very dramatic sobs:

"What? So you just see a yellow car and HIT PEOPLE? That's not EVEN funny!"

No, it really isn't Jules. It's a dumb game. We are going to abort that dumb game since your sister only knows how to punch people with one intensity. As hard as possible.

I had the bright idea (sense the sarcasm?) to re-visit a game I learned in the 7th grade. It's called "Going to the Beach". Or something like that.

The leader decides on a pattern that people must follow in order to go to the beach.

I started with "I'm going to the beach and I'm going to take a CAT."

The girls said they were going to take a bucket and a towel but I said they could not go b/c that didn't follow my pattern.

They were pissed. They really wanted to fake-go to the beach.

I gave them another clue. "I'm going to the beach and I'm going to take a RAT".

They chose to take a shovel and a bottle of water but they still couldn't go to the beach.

They were almost in tears b/c they really REALLY wanted to fake-go to the beach.

Clue #3. The very clue which should have been a dead give away. "I'm going to the beach and I'm going to take a MAT."

Mia what are you going to take?

"A bike."

No, you can't go. Jules?

"Um...a ball."

No, you can't go either. Girls...listen carefully! What is the SAME about all of the things I'm taking..CAT, RAT, MAT....and to add to that I'm going to take a BAT!

Mia?

"...a..dog."

No. Jules?

"...a magic wand."

No. Forget it. Game over, you were supposed to pick things that rhymed with cat.

Mia...OH! O.k., can I try to be the leader?

Sure....

"I'm going to the beach and I'm going to take a pear."

Jules was going to take a bear...she did NOT get to go.

I said I was going to take a knife and I did get to go to the beach.

And then Jules had a full blown melt down:

I HATE this game. BEAR AND PEAR rhyme! Can't you hear? BEAR...PEAR? Knife and pear do NOT rhyme!

I tell her to calm down and then ask Mia to kindly reveal her pattern....

She informs me that it started out being things that are juicy but then changed it to things that are not animals.

OH...RIGHT!

If you haven't caught on....I will tell you that the rules to the game were solidified once Jules made her guess. Mia was going to make SURE that Jules did NOT get to go to the beach....

...and a bear is an animal and knife is not so naturally I got to go and Jules did NOT.

And now, I'm going to Google car dvd players.

Can't Resist This.

2010-07-01T15:32:00.003-05:00

I saw this on a gossip website a few weeks ago and now it's everywhere. I can't resist posting it...everyone else is, so why not?

In the event that you haven't seen it on facebook or another blog then I'm at your service to keep you in the loop.

We are not a mini-van family yet but if we were...we would be so proud.