It's different not living in a town where everyone knows everyone. Where your extended family and those of your friends goes back more than 3 generations. You play with your mom's childhood friends' kids. That kind of small town.
If someone from school asks the girls over to play my rule is not until I've met the parents and had an extensive conversation and been inside their home. Even then, that's proven to not always be enough to protect them from things like inappropriate internet exposure. So frustrating.
Tonight I am caught between wanting Jules to develop a sweet friendship and protecting her from the unknown. Her friends' little sister is turning one and having a birthday party at a park that is way across town. They want to pick Jules up early to hang out and then go to the party.
I have never been to their apartment, I've never had a conversation with the mom other than small talk at a couple of class parties. Never even met the dad. I don't know who is going to be at the party or who will be taking her to the bathroom if she needs to go. I don't know if they are the over protective type like me or the type to let them run around with little supervision.
Too many unknowns.
After praying about it I decided that the level of my uneasiness was enough for me to say no. Jules is just too little and not prepared to handle any sort of situation that might be the slightest bit inappropriate or even dangerous. It would just take one creepy relative to do a whole lot of damage in a tiny amount of time.
I am disappointed for her not to go. I wish these mommy feelings weren't so in the way all the time. But, they are there for a reason, I suppose. Even if I feel like a big over-protective meany sometimes.
3 comments:
i'm not sure what other people's comments might be about this, but i for one am all about being the big over-protective meany. i might feel bad/sad for about 3 seconds, but i mostly just feel *very* confident that i'm doing the right thing. we even just made a strict, no-budging-on-this-one rule when the kids were still practically babies that we don't do sleepovers. it makes it easy, because then people know that about us and don't even ask. i'm a big fan of those kinds of rules, rules that we set and don't budge on...no shutting the bedroom doors when friends are over to play, no playing at the neighbor's house unless the parents (specifically mom) are there, etc. and not to be all plugging my own blog, but i just thought you might find this post and the comments (that i was blown away with) to be interesting. http://michawn.blogspot.com/2008/03/sheltering-part-1.html when i hear of all the things that have happened to others (and think about the relatively small, but still damaging things that happened to me)...*really* makes you think and set even stricter boundaries...and not feel bad about it at all. so is say 'good for you!' and good for your children.
I will def. go read your post and comments. We need to have a sit down with the girls (and each other) and go over our rules again so there is no begging and pleading and what-not. Fortunately, they are not asked over very often. I use to think this was so sad but now I realize it's a blessing. We had a very bad experience when Mia was 5 and I have not gotten over it and still feel very hurt about the whole thing so I always wonder am I being tooooo strict but from what you write I think I am still on track. Onward mean mommy!
Way to go. That's hard, but the right choice. I have a friend who always wants to pick up kenz and have her over and while I love them I am too much of a car seat Nazi to trust anyone to do it right. I just need to be in control of her in the car and there's no way I'm ready for sleepovers.
Post a Comment