A Plate and Some Fake Chicken Please.

I was almost to Home Depot when I got a call from the school.  I substitute now so I  knew I was either getting called in or one of the girls was sick.  Hoping for neither I got this whispered voice on the other end of the line instead:

"Mom, this is Mia, your daughter.  I forgot my book report stuff and I need it."

"Mia, you've got to be kidding me.  Where is your stuff?  What do you need?"

"I need a plate and some fake chicken and 4 other things that have to do with Helen Keller."

Oh, I get it now.  She didn't get any of it together.  She just talked about what she was going to do, but never actually got around to doing it. Now, the plate and fake chicken might be throwing you off but never fear, I knew exactly where she was going with it.

 Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke fight it out as Annie Sullivan and Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker

At school they had been working on a book report.  They wrote 10 things down on index cards and were supposed to gather 5 physical things to bring to school for the report.  Mia had been talking all week long about throwing food across the room as one of her things.  You know, like Helen Keller did when she got mad at the dinner table in the movie.   Because, of all things, THAT was the main point.

I rolled my eyes at the thought of it and was banking on her coming to her senses before showtime.

We all know how that turned out.

Previously in the week we talked about printing off the ASL alphabet for everyone to have.  Bringing a book with real braille for everyone to feel.  NOT throwing food across the room.  Etc.

Every part of me wants to stuff parts of Mia into a box.  A box that I began creating for my daughter years before she was born.  A box that she has refused to conform to since birth. 

She was officially diagnosed with ADD two years ago.  It was suspected by her pre-school, kindergarten, and first grade teachers and confirmed now by her second and third grade teachers.

Can of worms opened.

ADD.  Without the H in most settings.  She is not hyper at school and doesn't have behavior problems.  I have found that most people have an opinion on this disorder and the medications available for it whether they have personal experience or have formed just plain old uneducated guesses on what it is or how to treat it. 

I made it a rule of thumb to not put very much stake into the opinions of anyone who did not have personal experience with ADD/HD or who wasn't in the medical profession.

That just makes sense to me.   And throughout this journey I need at least one thing that makes sense.

I have been chewed out by a mother for not medicating Mia like she was doing for her daughter.  I have been given disapproving looks and sighs from people the three months I did medicate her.

I had friends who were supportive when we decided to medicate but once she was off the meds they gave me their real opinions which were not very nice and very hurtful. 

The entire situation has left me feeling sad, frustrated, left out, and defeated.

And then I remember that it's Mia we are dealing with, not Levi and I,  and she is happy as a lark.

So what gives?

In all honesty? She isn't perfect like I had planned.  How dare her. 

I am still getting over myself and my image that I apparently am trying to protect.  Our children are a direct reflection of us and so it makes sense to want them to look good so that we do too.

It makes sense, but it is wrong thinking.  

So in effort to not stuff that sweet girl into a box I drove home and gathered a plastic plate, some fake food from their play kitchen stash, a print off of the ESL alphabet,  a picture of Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan, and a doll (Annie brought Helen a doll as a gift).

When she came to get her stuff I asked her how she missed this very important deadline.  She said, "Well, Mom?  I knew it was due Thursday May 17th but nobody ever told me that it WAS May 17th!  I didn't even know it was Thursday! We don't have calendar time in third grade and that just really helped me last year!"

Well, she does have a point.    It honestly never occurred to me that calendar time in Pre-K, K, 1st, and 2nd was a HUGE help for her.  We will be having our own calendar time next year, you can bet on it.

I gave her some pointers on how to throw her food without getting suspended.  Then she trotted happily to her classroom to give her stellar performance as I walked back to my car praying she didn't knock anyone out with that fake chicken leg.

That afternoon I wasted no time in asking her how it all went.  And if anyone got stitches.  Or a concussion.   Or lost an eye.  She said that when her teacher gave her critique one of her favorite parts was how Mia threw the food on the floor and handed out her pictures and doll for others to look at during the presentation because no one else passed their stuff around or acted anything out.

And that is why you don't stuff your kids into boxes.  What a sweet gift of words from that teacher to this child with wild ideas.

Backpack Makeover: Duct Tape Edition

Two years ago when Jules was in pre-school and Mia was in first grade we were strolling through Target looking for back packs and lunch kits.  I suggested that they not choose a character backpack b/c we were not getting a new back back until theirs fell apart.  And, there was good chance that they might not be super excited to carry around a Winnie the Poo back back in 3rd grade.

They totally listened to me and chose Disney Princesses and Hannah Montana.

Here is where Levi would interject and say that I should have stood my ground.  I am the adult and they are the children.  I agree with him in that that is what a normal completely composed mother should do.  I am not normal and almost never composed when at Target with my children.  I think the automatic door sensor gives your children special powers over you upon entrance to the store and removes all logic and reason from your brain making you do things you shouldn't. 

Like buy matching Hannah Montana and Disney Princess backpacks, lunch kits, AND thermoses.  And besides, who can resist those precious faces?  Obviously, not this girl.

Fast forward two years to last summer.  Same scenario.  Strolling through Target looking for backpacks and lunch kits.  I kept thinking of how their backpacks were just fine regardless of how "SO out" Hannah Montana was.  What is a mother to do?  I didn't feel good about the impending purchase.  To buy something that we already have just because we want something bigger and better is not our style.  I also felt really stupid that I gave a 4 year old and a 6 year old a choice two years ago that would affect their lives two to three years later.  That concept is a bit much especially at Target in a sea of beautiful backpacks of all shapes, sizes, and characters.

I was avoiding "the isle" and took a detour down the hardware isle to give myself time to think.  I was distracted by all the neat-o fun duct tape they have available now and I had a eureka! moment.  Let's cover our totally out how embarrassing it would be to show up in the third grade with a Hannah Montana backpack with some fun duct tape!  I proposed the idea and they were on board instantly.

I let them each choose one pattern and one color and I already had silver.  It was on sale so I spent less than $15 on the duct tape.  The next morning they didn't even get dressed, brush their hair or teeth...I don't even know if they ate breakfast.  We sat down and I started tearing and they started covering.  I tried to not give my two cents and let them be as creative as they wanted to be.  If I had it to do over we would have modpodged the tape on b/c believe it or not, duct tape isn't as sticky as you might think. 

They did an awesome job and their friends "totally love them".  It's possible they are known as the duct tape girls but that will be our little secret.

Lucky for them, Mia's strap broke and Jules' zipper broke so we will be purchasing new backpacks this summer but I WILL be standing firm on no characters this time.  I think three years out of a Target backpack is pretty darn good.

It's Different.

It's different not living in a town where everyone knows everyone.   Where your extended family and those of your friends goes back more than 3 generations.  You play with your mom's childhood friends' kids.  That kind of small town.

If someone from school asks the girls over to play my rule is not until I've met the parents and had an extensive conversation and been inside their home.  Even then, that's proven to not always be enough to protect them from things like inappropriate internet exposure. So frustrating.

Tonight I am caught between wanting Jules to develop a sweet friendship and protecting her from the unknown.  Her friends' little sister is turning one and having a birthday party at a park that is way across town.  They want to pick Jules up early to hang out and then go to the party. 

I have never been to their apartment, I've never had a conversation with the mom other than small talk at a couple of class parties.  Never even met the dad.  I don't know who is going to be at the party or who will be taking her to the bathroom if she needs to go.  I don't know if they are the over protective type like me or the type to let them run around with little supervision. 

Too many unknowns.

After praying about it I decided that the level of my uneasiness was enough for me to say no. Jules is just too little and not prepared to handle any sort of situation that might be the slightest bit inappropriate or even dangerous.  It would just take one creepy relative to do a whole lot of damage in a tiny amount of time. 

I am disappointed for her not to go.  I wish these mommy feelings weren't so in the way all the time.  But, they are there for a reason, I suppose.  Even if I feel like a big over-protective meany sometimes.

DIY Christmas Ornaments for Kids

We made mini soda fountain shake ornaments for all of our classmates and teachers....and staff...and family...

I got the idea from aboutchristamscrafts.com.

The supplies were inexpensive and easily accessible. 

• Communion cups 
• white pom poms
• colored pom poms
• small red pom pom's
• string
• Elmer's glue (clear)
• straws
• confetti or glitter 

When I walked into the Christian Book and Gift store I searched the world over for the communion cups.  I did not want to ask for them b/c you know, I was going defile them in a matter of hours.  But, as luck would have it they were no where to be found.  I broke out into a sweat thinking they might ask me for some sort of proof that I would actually be using them for what they were intended. I may or may not have decided I was the secretary for a home church and was out getting supplies. 

They come in quantities of 100 or 1000.  I chose 100.   No lying occurred in the process. 


Levi drilled teeny tiny little holes using his drimmell tool. 

I always like to get him involved.  He likes it even though he acts like he doesn't.  He totally get's into it.

We then formed an assembly line which involved measuring, cutting, and tying our string to the communion cups.

After that I poured some glue in a cup and they dipped a colored pom pom in it, stuck it into the bottom of each cup and followed it with a white one and a small red one for the cherry.  I recommend using the clear Elmer's because it took a very long time for the glue to dry in the bottom of the cup and it looks kind of gross if it's not clear.  While they did that I cut up the straws and then we stuck them in.  The pink coffee stirrers from Braum's would have been perfect but that would involve ninja style thievery and I don't think that's appropriate for a Christian woman like me.

 After all that was done I dotted a little glue and sprinkled each one with a little confetti and some white (or maybe it was translucent) glitter.  We had them drying all over the house.

I packaged them up in clear treat bags, tied them with curly ribbon, and stuck a gift tag to each one.  For the teachers I included a Sonic gift card in the bag and tied their favorite candy bar to it. 

The girls were able to do 90% of this on their own, but I of course chipped in so we could make enough for the entire world. 

Speaking of Christmas, here we are with the girls' Christmas presents this year, Kanoni and Hannah.  So far they have been very well behaved and proven to have heads tougher than nails.  All the hair yanking brushing that has gone on is down right criminal.

On my mind.

Who: Reese Witherspoon. If I could choose a celebrity to be friends with it would be her.
What: Homemade chocolate shake. Was too cold and lazy to make myself one but it sure sounds good.
When: Tomorrow morning. I don't have to work out in the morning and I am so very excited about that.
Where: The school cafeteria. It's where Mia will get her super citizen award in the morning. She deserves it.
Why: Because I said so.

Coupons are Whack.

 picture from blog.dealsgoround.com

Word.

I have never seen an episode of Extreme Coupon Whatever it's Called.  I have also never even half-way tried to use a coupon in all my 15 years of grocery shopping.   After reviewing our budget this year I decided it was time to at least give it a half-way shot.  

Right off the bat I learned something valuable.  Coupons don't come in the Sunday paper on a holiday.  I learned that twice in one day b/c surely someone stole them out of the first one?  No.  Yeah, we don't read the paper.  So, it was Connie-minus 8 bucks,  coupons-1 and recycling bin-2 big fat newspapers.

Well I wasn't going to fall for that on New Year's, no ma'am.  I did not buy a paper on that Sunday b/c I was in the know.  But when I joined the Grocery Game (more on that later) I realized that yes, coupons did go out that weekend and now (until they all expire) I have to get excited about saving $ only to realize it was from the Jan 1 paper that I didn't buy.  So, I really have no idea when they do and don't give out coupons.

I finally got some dang coupons to get the ball rolling and I immediately clipped them all and stuffed them in a zip-lock bag and marked the bag.  The next Sunday I did the same b/c you need a couple or three Sunday's worth of coupons to get started, so I was told.  Then came that fateful day when I was ready to save BIG bucks.  I signed up for my free trial of the Grocery Game and got my zip-lock bags in my hand and immediately realized that I had made a big mistake by clipping all of those coupons. 

You see, you are supposed to leave them in their little booklets b/c the GG tells you where to clip the coupon/s you need.

My couponing adventure got a rough start.

OK, I got this.  Third times a charm, right?  I absolutely did not clip the coupons from the third paper and it certainly wasn't a holiday weekend.  I put the booklets in a zip-lock, labeled it and watched Desperate Housewives.   This was going to be a piece of cake. 

I realized that the GG was great for matching store add items to the coupons but what about random things I need that I would have to purchase regardless of the add?  Well, I decided to log all of the coupons like a nut job in Excel.   Levi buys the paper for me and it takes me about 45 minutes to do it while we watch a movie on Sunday Afternoon.  It is an awesome resource for me.  I can do "control F" and look up an item by key word and know if I have a coupon for it or not.  Here is a portion of what it looks like:

OK, now was time to try the real deal.  I have my not clipped coupons, my spread sheet, my GG account so I was ready.  I think I spent 3 days planning a menu, working through the items in the GG, clipping my coupons, checking adds, organizing my list and my coupons according to store, and occasionally stopping to cry and moan b/c it was a total beating.   I saved $25 at Target and $30 at Tom Thumb.  However, I spent the same amount of money I always do, possibly more.

Clearly the learning curve on couponing is long and large.  Either that or I am just way to ADD for it. 

The second time around for the beating couponing adventure I fared a little better mentally.  Well, until I got to the store.  I learned something new again.  The adds go from Wednesday to Tuesday.  I never, not in my whole life, knew that.  This was a problem considering I went to the store on Wednesday after gathering coupons based on the previous weeks adds which ended the day before on Tuesday.  So, none of my coupons really made a hill of bins worth of difference because you save the most money when you match the coupons with the items in the adds. 

That's the main reason to join the GG b/c they do that for you.  It's free for the first 4 weeks and you can use your free trial on as many stores as you want.  After that it's $10 for one store and $5 for each additional one.   I paid a total of $15 for 8 weeks to use it for two stores.  You can also look up most of your local store's adds on-line.

Another mistake I made is doing my list for two weeks.  I have always done it that way but I don't advise that when first starting out with the coupon thing.  It's much too much.  

Tomorrow I am excited to use the adds properly according to the correct add dates, use my not clipped coupons, and shoot for just one week. If, after this last ditch effort, I still want to punch something when I'm done and if it takes me more than one morning to organize it all and includes me crying, I am bidding my farewell to couponing. 

I am not entirely sure which way I want this to turn out.  

In conclusion, I have officially lost my mind for the sake of our savings account. 

So, about that 30 day challenge?

Let's call it a chall-ish, shall we? 

I hit a wall right about the time of the angry post and we decided that working out every single day must be a very bad idea and we changed to every other day.  Guess what?  I'm not so angry anymore and my workouts are far more productive.  I actually do them correctly rather than sloppily fling my body around just waiting for it to be over. 

And obviously I didn't blog on Thursday or Friday.  I totally forgot on Thursday and Friday was a hit the ground running sort of day so it didn't happen.  My sister and I went to my parents this weekend and had a grand time so I'm going to give myself a pass this time b/c packing is a beating.  Not to mention I cooked a home-made lasagna, cleaned the house, and did Levi's laundry all before I left on Friday since we were going to be gone for 3 nights. 

Now that the excuses are out of the way, I'll get to business.

Honesty.  I am not very good at it.  I mean, I don't lie about important things but I certainly am guilty of saying what I think people want to hear, especially when on the fly.  I want to be one of those friends that tells you dying your hair green and purple is a bad idea but instead I might say "Oh, yes, totally you!" 

For example, Levi and I decided to volunteer at our church for extended care in they gym from 8:00-8:30 on Wednesday night.  The girls went to extended care before Christmas when we were taking a class that required extended child care and they LOVED it.  They just play their guts out in the gym, who wouldn't love that.  BUT, right now there isn't a class for us so we pick them up at 8:00 (the normal time to leave).  We committed to going through a parenting book from 6:30-8:00 while they do their thing. 

Well, after many tears from the eldest about not getting to go to extended care we thought, why not volunteer to help?  Yes, that's the ticket.  So, we asked about it and met with the children's director. 

He immediately asked us what our passion was.  My answer was filled with lots of things about the well-being of kids and helping kids and kids kids kids.  I even brought Levi into it and mentioned our Life Shelter work and what not.  Now, none of this is exactly not true.  I do very much care about underprivileged children and so does Levi.  But now that I've had a week to think about it I'd have to tell him this: 

"Levi's passion is architecture and I don't know what mine is which is why I'm in this super angry phase and don't really know how to begin getting out of the angry phase and we are just helping b/c Mia wants to be in extended care and we have thought about helping in the past and thought maybe this would be a good introduction for us into the children's ministry."

Why be embarrassed of that reason?  It's the truth.  I'm not a children's minister and children's ministry is not my passion but who says you can only serve where your passion is?   I do like kids and I like to be involved where ever my kids are so my desire to serve should be a good enough reason.  And you know what?  It might have been but I spouted off garbage instead of telling the total truth so I'll never know.  So, dumb.

I think I know what my next 30 challenge is going to be and it might be like a scene out of Liar Liar which would make for some seriously good blog material.